- RE: How do you maintain intimacy with your spouse when separated by travel for days (or even weeks) at a time?Double bed Asked on November 17, 2019 in No Category.
I work 5 weeks away at a time from my DW. We started off with pics that I save in a secure password-protected app on my phone. Then when I’m home I sometimes get a video I can put into the app. That helps with the times when we can’t talk. Other than that we video chat and play with ourselves while watching one another. As for guarding I have an app on my phone called “Accountability2you” where she is my accountability partner. This keeps me from clicking or searching for something I shouldn’t be doing. And number one is staying in the Word, praying, and keeping conversations open with your DW.
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- Double bed Asked on November 17, 2019 in Infidelity .
I am so sorry you are going through this. I had a porn addiction since I was 10. I never told my wife about it and 10 years into our marriage I was looking at porn almost every day. I always knew I could be such a man of God if I could kick that to the curb but I’ve never been able to. Then I started to never get into the word, always listening to secular clubbing music, watching everything I could on my computer through streaming. Then one time in 2018 I was working away from my wife and went to a party. I got so drunk and stayed with my buddy in a hotel and even though I didn’t have sex I fooled with a girl. I managed to stop before it got worse but the damage was done, I cheated on her. I went home crying for God to take my life so I wouldn’t have to put my wife through this. As soon as I got home I had to tell her before we got intimate. It was the hardest thing in my life I’ve ever been through and even worse for her as I have gone against our marriage vows. I opened up to her about everything. Needless to say, she was in disbelief, found it hard to process that even with the situation I’ve been cheating on her with porn the past 10 years. She wouldn’t let me touch her hand or anything, I betrayed her and it was something I could never take back. I was fortunate that her parents had gone through the same thing when she was a kid so she was able to open up to them. The next few days were really rough, I wasn’t allowed to be in her presence for the most part of the day, she stayed in her room and ate there. I did my best to take care of the kids, the house, and meals. She did become intimate with me even though she wouldn’t let me touch her she made an exception with sex. She told me that she felt she lost so much about our marriage so she didn’t want to lose the sex otherwise she might feel she lost all love for me causing her to hate me. I couldn’t believe she would do this even though at this point in time she still hadn’t forgiven me. The sex started to heal us. It was the hardest thing she ever did but she pushed through it. Almost a week later after seeing my pastor and many talks and finding out how I got to that point, she told me she forgives me. Now, this doesn’t mean that she trusts me but it was a start. Although she forgave me it took me many months to forgive myself and this is something down the road he is also going to need to be able to do.
We had to set up boundaries. We have what’s called “Accountable2you” installed on my phone which you can also use on your computer. We thought that if I used a friend as an accountability partner it could allow me to slip up and talk to my friend about it instead of her so we made her my accountability partner instead. I had to remove streaming on my laptop. This app is really good. If I click on anything that has anything to do with sex or any words associated with it she gets notified right away with a screenshot of what I was searching. The reason we went this route instead of Covenant eyes was that if I make any changes from blocking a certain keyword to an app to a website she gets alerted, if I tried to delete the app or turn it off and back on again it would send an alert to my wife. This has helped me so much since I kicked porn to the curb. The times I’m tempted I know what’s on my phone and it stops me from going there. It is a paid app but well worth the cost. I had also downloaded a bunch of Christian music any changed my listening habits to be more of God. Also when it comes to watching anything I check out IMDB which is a movie review place and you can go to parental rating to see if the show contains any type of nudity. She basically approves anything I watch. This is part of the consequences of my sin but well worth it to have a healthy relationship with my wife.
A year and a few months later our relationship has been closer than ever before. We talk about everything. Our sex life is intimate and since I started on TMB even more frequent. Our emotional development has been growing and growing. My relationship with God is closer than ever. I still have the app on my phone and I’m not going to take it off anytime soon. I have started a purity group last year for men in my motorcycle club but unfortunately, it’s a closed group. It would be good if he could find something out there though for him. There is a lot of devotional content for men wanting to kill their addiction to porn and lust. Again this is just one take on many ways to handle it but this worked for us. There is a way to fight through what you’re going through but God has to be the center of it.
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- Double bed Asked on November 17, 2019 in Question of the Day.
Waking up in the morning and feeling her body touching me. My foot could be on her foot or my finger touching her side but I can’t recall if a day ever went by where I woke up without an erection when this happened.
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- Double bed Asked on November 17, 2019 in Other Sexual Problems (Any sexual problems not listed in a specific section.).
I feel like I am in the same place as your husband some times. When it’s my birthday, not saying that it’s right, but I always feel entitled to a special gift from my DW out of the norm, also if on her birthday I’ll try to do something special for her, sexually of course. I know it might not be right but when it’s the same pattern year after year it’s almost something you’re looking forward too as the day drew near. I wonder did you maybe hint to him that you had something special for him leading up to it and in his mind, he automatically went “yes, now I can ask for it”?
I know my DW will never let me do anal because we tried once many years ago and it was hurting her so we gave up, but the fantasy is still there and every once in awhile I’ll request it knowing the answer is still no thinking well maybe it won’t hurt this time if we use lube. At the time I’m so wound up I tend to fail at how she feels when I ask and I know she just wants me to give it up. I’m still learning but your DH could be feeling the same way.
I don’t see why on certain occasions that the feeling of entitlement is wrong. Whether it’s my birthday and I want to 69 or it’s her birthday and she wants a full-on hour-long body rub massage to some extent I think we all have this feeling of entitlement in some way or another.
When it comes to wanting sex and you’re just too tired so you offer to help him take care of himself, this happens to us all the time. This is %00 something he needs to deal with. My DW does this and sometimes I’m good with it and other times I’ll keep persisting for PIV that she just wants me to go away. All it is is a complete lack of thought and consideration on my part. When I’m aroused and thinking about her T&A, unfortunately, my mind doesn’t think about anything else.
Just wanted to let you see it from a male point of view in the fact that we might interpret things incorrectly and selfish in the moment but if you can come to us later on in the day or next day and talk about it with us then you should be able to find that safe place in us. When we’re not aroused we tend to be thinking clearly. Just my view from someone who has many faults in this area but doing my best to learn from them.
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- Double bed Asked on November 15, 2019 in Chit Chat, Jokes, and More .
The worst pickup line ever worked on my wife. Her friend introduced me to her in a bar and she never said a word, not hi or anything, so I noticed she was wearing braces and I blurted out “I think braces are so hot”. She giggled and walked away and still not a peep out of her. Two weeks later I told my friend how I’d like to F her and she invited me to a party. When I called to get directions her friend picked up the phone and told me she heard what I told my friend. I got really nervous until my now DW said: “I think it’s a good idea”. I drove so fast to get there. lol. From there on was a wild ride and it’s been amazing how both of us have found our way to come back to Christ and make Him the centre of our family’s lives.
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- RE: What do the ladies use to treat yeast infections? Can they get the infection from the guys and/or can we get them from the ladies?Double bed Asked on November 15, 2019 in Vagina Problems (can't orgasm, slow to orgasm, pain, dryness, etc.).
My DW uses a cream. Once she didn’t realize she had it and we had sex a few times, then I found out I caught it from her. If you start getting itchy underneath the head and possibly some white stuff there then you got a yeast infection. I went to the doctor and they gave me the same cream my wife was using. So if you do get it from her just put some of her cream on it for the next 5 days and it should go away.
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- Double bed Asked on November 15, 2019 in Question of the Day.
I got home one turnaround and had just purchased some sexy lingerie for my DW. That night we had set the massage table up in our bedroom, lit some scented candles, turned on some lovemaking relaxing music. Using oil I massaged her for the first hour slightly rubbing myself against her, playing with her until she O’d. The next hour she did the same to me and finished me off with a blow job and to top it off she swallowed which I find very satisfying especially when 99% of the time she spits. I remember being in a place of ecstatic pleasure and believe that it was one of my best O’s.
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I love it when she kisses my neck softly. gets me going feeling her neck tilted off to the side and her body against me.
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I am more of an up and down but I do like the grinding when pressed hard against my DW.
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- Double bed Asked on October 26, 2019 in Not So Common (Adult nursing, foot jobs, breast sex, facials, bondage, etc.).
I love my DW’s boobs, it’s my go-to for pretty much anything sexual. If at any point when I see access to them, I’ll suck and fondle for as long as I can. She really enjoys them too as it’s what I need to be doing most of the time to help her reach O.
@Duchass My wife had 4 kids and I love her stretch marks. I think they a beautiful and unique which makes her body so different than anyone else. But knowing how you feel about them I think she might feel the same way. I’ll have to make sure next time we’re together that I let her know how I feel about them. Thanks for bringing this up.
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