CaptainCaveman's Profile
Twin bed
23
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1

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10

  • Twin bed Asked on October 7, 2019 in Sexually Refused .

      Another poster commented about “duty sex”.    It’s tempting to leap to the idea that duty sex is better than no sex.   But having been through that, for me it’s actually worse.   

      Duty sex would occasionally lead to her being fully engaged (maybe 10% of time) but the other 90% I could tell she was going through the motions … barely…. and after a certain point she’d actually say “are you done yet?”.    Uh yeah I am NOW, forget it!

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    • Twin bed Asked on October 7, 2019 in Introduce Yourself.

        Hi Leah, I think I remember you from the old board.    Glad you’re here!

        • 260 views
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      • Twin bed Asked on October 7, 2019 in Infidelity .

          FWIW, in my view when either spouse has take the role of gatekeeper or willful refuser that is a de facto act of infidelity  just as much as a physical or emotional affair.

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        • Twin bed Asked on October 7, 2019 in Birth Control (What’s available, do’s and don’ts.).

            I had mine done ~ 5 years ago and it was simple and virtually painless.   The procedure itself was easy enough that I asked the doc if he could prop me up to watch.    Yeah I know, I’m weird.    The only discomfort at all was a very mild dull ache when the local anesthetic wore off – pop a couple Advil and sit in the recliner with a bag of frozen peas in the crotch and that was that.    Never needed a second dose of Advil.   BTW – get multiple bags of peas and rotate them since they thaw quickly.   You could use an ice pack but my icemaker makes those half-moon shaped pieces and I didn’t want any pointy corners near my recently sliced jewels.

            Follow the doc’s post-procedure steps to the letter.    I planned mine for a Friday and sat in the recliner the rest of the day and just took it easy the remainder of the weekend.   Then was back to pretty much whatever I wanted to do by Monday.    The only “horror story” I know of is a guy who felt so normal the next day that he went for his usual 10 miles jog.   He wound up in the ER with one testicle the size of a grapefruit.     Take it easy – use it as a valid excuse to watch football all weekend.

            If you wear boxers or go commando, get some tighter fitting briefs or a jock strap so there’s no dangle of the recently distressed parts.    After a few days, go back to wearing whatever.

            Be SURE to follow up on your post-procedure labs and get two zero sperm counts before  resuming unprotected activities.    I work with a guy who didn’t and accused his wife of cheating when she got pregnant shortly after.    Then his labs showed he still had live ammo.

            Some are fans of having the severed ends cauterized to prevent spontaneous re-connection.   I asked about this and my doc pointed out that cauterized end could slough off and reconnect anyway.   His method was to remove 4 inches of tube instead of the usual 2 (not sure about those exact numbers but you get the idea).   The tubing retracts after being severed anyway.   He said if they reconnect after all that then God’s telling you to have a bigger family.

            I’d suggest two incisions (one on each testicle) rather than a single one in the middle.    Two means less fishing around to reach each side’s tubes where one can result in more soreness and discomfort post-procedure.     Granted two incisions means one addition cut, but generally it’s less traumatic than the fishing on each side method.

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          • It’s been a while since the previous board was active but as I recall it was much easier to read and follow a thread there than with the new board.   Part of that could just be the dynamic of change since I’m just getting started on the new board, but that’s my initial impression.

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          • Twin bed Asked on October 7, 2019 in Other (Other non-sexual marriage issues.).

              While I don’t have a problem adopting the “divorce is not an option” mantra, I do sometimes wonder if it gives my wife no reason to change her role as gatekeeper and refuser when there’s no penalty or recourse to that refusal.

              • 524 views
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            • Twin bed Asked on October 7, 2019 in Male Testosterone Issues .

                I’m considering resuming TRT but I seem to recall that HCG can help restore the lack of ejaculatory volume whereas TRT along doesn’t.   Anyone else heard about this?    I hadn’t really thought about it, but do notice that the decrease in volume seems to take some of the enjoyment out of it.

                The shrinkage with TRT alone is a non-issue as far as I’m concerned.

                • 558 views
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              • Yes, happened to me as well.   In fact I had written a response to a question and when I went to “post answer” I got prompted to log in again – when I did, my post was gone and I had to start over.

                • 174 views
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              • Twin bed Asked on October 7, 2019 in Sexually Refused .

                  Over the 27 years we’ve been married my wife’s “no” has come with enough “reasons” (excuses 99% of the time) to fill multiple volumes of journals.   Now, it’s just plain “no” with no reason whatsoever.   On the occasion that I press for a reason it’ll be one of the old standby’s of “don’t care / not interested / just don’t want to”.     She frequently followed up the next morning with “i’m sorry” but it always sounded forced and never EVER resulted in any change of behavior or fruitful discussion;  so I finally told her to stop apologizing because I simply don’t believe her any more.

                   

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                • Twin bed Asked on October 7, 2019 in Introduce Yourself.

                    Sorry to learn he’s not here, Job was one of the staples of my reading on the old board.    Hopefully he changes his mind and comes back!

                    • 400 views
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