Jpops's Profile
California King



  • California King Asked on January 18, 2020 in Question of the Day.

      I have to admit I am jealous of the husbands of the wives on TMB. You all are actively reading, studying, and discussing how to strengthen and enjoy the sexual side of your relationship. Your husbands are truly lucky men.

      • 13 answers
      • 5 votes
    • #2 for sure, and that’s before I read the comments!

      • 16 answers
      • 2 votes
    • California King Asked on January 5, 2020 in Question of the Day.

        2019 was hard. The rollercoaster of Wifey’s medical issues and mental health exploration caused a lot of chaos and stress that I have to absorb so to lessen the effect on Wifey. Lots of family drama with my sister over my special needs nephew. I love my job, but it is mentally taxing.

        The good:

        We found answers for Wifey and medications/therapy are helping.

        My in-laws moved to be closer to us which has helped a ton.

        • 16 answers
        • 1 votes
      • California King Asked on January 5, 2020 in Question of the Day.

          I am an afterthought, alone, unnoticed.

          Wifey will never pursue me sexually. That my needs and desires to feel wanted will never be fulfilled.

          I can’t rely on Wifey. If something needs done, I must do it myself. I must be self sufficient because no one is looking out for me.

          A fulfilling sex life is for other people, not me.

          • 12 answers
          • 2 votes
        • California King Asked on December 17, 2019 in Pornography .

            I think it matters why porn is being used. In my case I was medicating loneliness and seeking a feeling of being wanted. I probably wouldn’t have been able to express that as a teen or into my 20s. It’s only by revelation by the Holy Spirit that I’ve been able to understand why porn has/had its effect on me.

            Because I was using porn to fill a legitimate need for connection, responses of being caught ultimately led to me laying low for a bit and being more careful. I’m not proud to admit that. I certainly felt conviction and shame, and vowed to do better, pray more, etc, but satan knows how to push all the right buttons to lure me back. It wasn’t until I reached my breaking point and learned more about how God wired sex in men for emotional connection that I was able to understand why porn was such a strong issue for me.

            • 8 answers
            • 3 votes
          • California King Asked on November 28, 2019 in Activities & Items .

            We are on different pages too. Wifey is terrified someone will hear us and the added stress of the holidays makes it harder for her to get her mind in the right space for sex. For me, being well rested and spending more time with Wifey causes my desire for the intimacy and closeness of sex to accelerate. Weekends, holidays, and vacations are all hard for me.

            • 18 answers
            • 0 votes
          • California King Asked on November 27, 2019 in Birth Control (What’s available, do’s and don’ts.).

              The doctor was a board certified urologist that had performed plenty before me, and has since done one on a friend with no issues. A little more personal history, I have existing scar tissue from an incident when I was younger that complicates things. Even I can’t find my vas deferens very easily. If I go for a second try I will be under general anesthesia at the hospital and my insurance only covers the procedure in the office.

              We haven’t ruled a vasectomy out completely, we’re just looking to explore all of our options and understand the risks associated. We are both on the same page about more children. Wifey had post partem depression with our second and we both don’t want to take that risk again.

              • 6 answers
              • 0 votes
            • California King Asked on November 27, 2019 in Non-Sexual Romance .

                We are hit and miss on this. I’m highly logical and methodical which means to me, there’s a right way to do a task because it logically makes sense. Wifey says she has selective OCD and has her way of doing certain things that no matter what I do, I won’t do it correctly in her mind. (not trying to make light of those with a real issue with compulsive behaviors, that’s just what she calls it) There are plenty of things that we can work together on, but more often than not our perspectives on how to accomplish a goal are different.

                • 11 answers
                • 1 votes
              • California King Asked on November 27, 2019 in Question of the Day.

                  Yes and no. When in the thick of a stressful situation, especially when running on less sleep, it takes a lot more energy to get my desire going. Add to that the energy and focus on Wifey to get her going and sex can almost be a draining experience. The first morning after a good night’s sleep I am usually all revved up with nowhere to go and will MB to relieve the tension. I’m longing for comfort and attention in stressful situations and greatly desire Wifey to take the reins and pursue sex with me for me.

                  • 17 answers
                  • 2 votes
                • When is the last time you had the sexual desire conversation with your spouse?

                  We’ve had fragments of this conversation over the years, the last one was probably a few months ago.

                  The last time you had this talk, how did it go?

                  We’ve had so many arguments about this that I tiptoe extremely gently when it comes up, and I don’t intentionally start the conversation. I’ve learned that my desires (not just in the sexual arena) just cause Wifey more stress and anxiety. Having the conversation just makes the unfulfilled desires hurt worse.

                  Since the last time you had the talk, have any of your desires changed?

                  Nope. I think I could probably express them better and why I desire certain things.

                  Since the last time you had the talk, have you made an active attempt at meeting your spouses desires?

                  Wifey’s answer is always the same. “Hit me over the head so I can get my brain to shut up”.

                  Since the last time you had the talk, has your spouse made an active attempt at meeting your desires?

                  She always says she’s trying. She doesn’t outright refuse sex or sexual advances, but she doesn’t always respond clearly about them either. So I’m left with the choice to drop it, or push for a real answer that can make me feel like I’m railroading her. As far as an active and intentional pursuit, that’s on the list of unfulfilled desires.

                  • 10 answers
                  • 1 votes