MrEden's Profile
Queen bed
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  • Queen bed Asked 5 days ago in Menopause .

      Hi Dutchess–

      My wife had cancer and had a hysterectomy and oophorectomy, all postmenopausal. She sailed thru menopause with not much more than a few hot flashes.  Sex was actually better for her afterwards.  But loosing her ovaries pretty much put an end to sex.

      She was also prescribed vaginal estrogen cream.  It does indeed fix vaginal symptoms, and does it quickly.  However, all the cream does is treat symptoms.  It does not treat the underlying problem of low blood estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone levels caused by the loss of ovaries.  The vaginal cream is designed to NOT be absorbed into the blood stream. This is because of the belief that estrogen is carcenogenic. The vaginal cream did nothing for her low libido, lack of lubrication during arousal, weight gain, etc. etc. etc.

      She went on bioidentical Hormone Replacement Therapy.  She gets two kinds of estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone. She is enjoying the best sex and the best general health of her life.

      It is true that large amounts of either estrogen or testosterone will promote cancer growth in a lab. However, there is no evidence that normal hormone levels contribute to cancer risk.  Progesterone actually retards cancer growth. 

      So please research bHRT.  To find a doctor, go to a4m.com and click on a4m.com and click on Directory.  Better yet, call a local compounding pharmacy and ask for referrals.

       

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    • So sorry you are going thru this.

      The only moral option open to your husband, as a married man, is to learn to embrace his masculinity and be the best man he can be.  He has lived as a male for many years, and can continue to do so.

      I agree that you both need professional help. Unfortunately, this isn’t something that most pastors or counselors are equipped to deal with.  The whole transgender thing has been embraced by secular society, and is actually encouraged.  Gender Dysphoria is not even classified as a disorder any more !  I did some research on your behalf to see what treatment options are available for a man with gender dysphoria who decided “I don’t want to go thru a life dominated with hormone treatments and surgeries. I want help being happy in the body I have.”  Other than a few references to “talk therapy”, I didn’t find much.  Most secular sites sort of assume that some body modifications will be required to achieve happiness in most people.

      Anyway, you need help — more than we can give you here. Given the fact that secular society promotes transgenderism, your best bet is to find the best Christian counselor that you can.  I would start with Focus on the Family.  I found this link:  This article may be of help to your husband.  Also, it has a link to their counseling department.

      https://www.focusonthefamily.com/family-qa/feminine-preferences-and-male-sexual-identity/

      MarriageToday.com and MarriageHelper.com offer marriage coaching.  These are “coaches”, not licensed therapists.  There is an advantage to going this route.  If you went to a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, he could not discourage your husband from transitioning  once he stated that he wished to do so.  About all he could do is help you deal with it.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Seiz7yB1STk

      One would think that their coaches not being licensed counselors would save you a little money, but that is not the case unfortunately. Nonetheless,  I got help from MarriageToday, and it was well worth the money.

      But I would call Focus on the Family first.  At least they are aware of the problem you are having.

      If your husband insists on going thru hormone treatment or surgery, I believe you would be biblically in the right to divorce him and remarry.  He says he has felt this way his whole life.  He didn’t disclose this to you before you married him.  That, plus his choice to make his body so that he can no longer have sex with you, is putting the marriage asunder.

      Finally, I must say that same-sex attraction is not a sin.  It becomes a sin only when you act on it. You are sexually attracted to men, so you seem quite normal to me. Perhaps your attraction to women is not anything abnormal.  The human body is an awesome creation of God.  I find many men attractive.  Just not in a sexual way.  What person, man or woman, can stand in front of Michelangelo’s David and not be in awe?  I have seen a full-sized copy.

      Praying for you.

       

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    • Queen bed Asked on February 2, 2020 in Chit Chat, Jokes, and More .

        We are in our 60’s. I started going gray in my 40’s.  DW still has very little gray hair.

        DW never indicated she had a problem with my gray hair, and frankly coloring it was never something I ever considered doing. And, I am still not completely gray. I take good care of myself physically, often turning the heads of younger women at the gym.

        I love DW’s hair color.  I find the few streaks of gray she has now attractive.  I will hate it if she ever goes totally gray, but we are into natural — both in appearance and minimal chemical exposure, so she isn’t going to color routinely. Plus it would be difficult to get her to look natural if she colored.  Might try it once in a while though.  She also takes great care of herself — everyone thinks I robbed the cradle. That is way more important to me than her hair color.  I find gray hair attractive in other women.

        The hair on both of us that really matters has hardly grayed at all — our public hair :lol:.

        PS.  Try taking 2 or 3 mg of copper per day. It might slow or even reverse your graying a bit.

        • 440 views
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      • Great news!  The sex and the dating.

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      • Queen bed Asked on January 30, 2020 in Menopause .

          Yes, you can overcome the effects of menopause!

          Premarin is a form of estrogen, and will alleviate vaginal pain and dryness. There is a small increased risk of cancer.

          However, there is a safer and more effective option available.  Bioidentical Hormone Replacement Therapy.  A bHRT doctor will check not only your estrogen levels, but testosterone and progesterone too. You need testosterone for libido and vaginal lubrication during sex.  Estrogen alone will not help your libido. You also need progesterone for overall health and to decrease your risk of cancer.  The bHRT doctor will address your overall health, not just menopausal/sexual issues.  She will check thyroid levels and other body chemistry.

          My wife had a hysterectomy, and had the symptoms you describe and worse.  We both went on bHRT. We are in our 60’s and enjoying the best sex and best health of our life.

          How do you find a bHRT doctor?  Go to https://www.a4m.com/ and click on Directory.  Also, find a compounding pharmacy and ask for referrals. https://defymedical.com/  treats you over the phone.  I know several men who use them and are happy with them.

          bHRT is still considered to be “alternative medicine” by the mainstream medical community. It has been around for 30 years, but is now catching on fast. You should have no problem finding someone. A lot of gyns/family practitioners/etc offer this service along with their regular practice.

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        • Queen bed Asked on December 28, 2019 in Male Testosterone Issues .
            Soy has been much maligned in recent years.  However, the sudden phobia about it is unwarranted. East Asians have been eating it in large quantities for thousands of years, and it has yet to do anyone in.  Their women have a low incidence of breast cancer.
             
            “Just six glasses of soy milk per day has enough estrogen to grow boobs on a male. “
            It barely grows boobs on their women :lol:.
             
            At an American Academy of Anti-Aging Medicine conference a few years ago they presented findings that soy estrogen has no effect on humans.  Now they are saying that plant estrogens plug into estrogen receptors and have no effect of their own, but they block the human estrogen from plugging into the receptors, so in effect phytoestrogens are estrogen blockers.

             

             

             

             
            • 297 views
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          • Queen bed Asked on November 29, 2019 in Activities & Items .

              I’d have to go with giving her oral sex, with first penetration a very very close second 🙂

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            • Queen bed Asked on October 31, 2019 in Pregnancy and Postpartum.

                Something I forgot about breast play. It’s been a while :-).

                Breast feed  (the baby!) before sex. Less dripping.

                • 399 views
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              • Queen bed Asked on October 31, 2019 in Intercourse (PIV) & Positions.

                  Over the phone.  Miss the closenesss.

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                • Queen bed Asked on October 30, 2019 in Pregnancy and Postpartum.

                    “it has taken me time to be confident in spreading my legs”
                    My wife was a bloody mess the first few times, but it seems sex helped it heal.  The bleeding stopped in a week and it was back to normal a few weeks later. It would be a good idea to do Kegel exercises.

                    “Leaking milk during sex has sometimes taken me out of the moment.”
                    It never bothered us. I found it to be a bit of a turn-on actually.  We just let it go wherever.  We never use towels etc., but have protection for the mattress in case anything seeps thru. As I recall, the stickiness wasn’t an issue after it dried.  We seemed to get more on us than the sheets, so showering cleaned up most of it.  

                    “Breast/Nipple Sensitivity:  DH has always been a boobs man, and even more so now that they are a lot bigger. How did you and your DH deal with breast play (I’m currently still breastfeeding)?” 
                    I’m a big boob man too! DW didn’t have any problems with them being too sensitive or anything. They got absolutely humungous during pregnancy and breastfeeding.  I enjoyed that. I love to suck her nipples, but did not like the milk.  But I could place them in my mouth and lick, or suck the whole area around the areolas rather than just the nipple,  and didn’t get milk too often.  And you sort of get used to a few drops of milk.

                    After nursing, her boobs went back to their original size and shape, which I found I prefer.  It was a novelty to have smaller ones again 😆  Her nipples stayed larger, which I love.

                    “Wife vs Mom Mode: It’s been difficult for me to turn of my mothering brain and feel sexy. My sex drive has come back and I do want sex, but I can’t get into the right mindset.”
                    I think part of it is cultural.  We don’t see mothering or the body changes that accompany it as sexy.  Even though our society places high value on big boobs, I don’t really see much in the media portraying lactating boobs as sexy even though they are generally large. But it is all about how you see it and your husband sees it. Mostly how you see it.  My guess is that your husband is more OK with your new body than you are.

                    But the main thing to keep in mind is that your body has taken quite a beating, plus having to adjust to less sleep and it not just being the two of you anymore.  You will feel sexier as time progresses.

                    • 399 views
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