Oldbear's Profile
On the floor



  • On the floor Asked 6 days ago in Other (Other non-sexual marriage issues.).

      Throughout my life, I’ve tended to be reactive in certain situations and conditions. Unpleasant surprises, annoying/uneven people, hidden agenda (disingenuous people), and unnecessary chaos can cause me to respond angrily with an unpleasant effect on my mood and the situation.

      Some years ago, to address this lifelong behavioral response, I focused on the practical application – believe me it’s hard and I’m still learning – in James 1:19. “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

      When I’m in meetings, I often write down ‘QL, SS, SA’ at the top of the agenda. It helps. Also, when in a stressful situation, I continue to learn how to relax and think, ‘How big a deal is this?’ ‘Don’t make it personal.’ ‘How can I help the person emoting or acting inappropriately?” These techniques have helped me.

      • 9 answers
      • 1 votes
    • On the floor Asked on February 21, 2020 in Chit Chat, Jokes, and More .

        Clitoria is a flower genus, named so since these flowers resemble the human clitoris and vulva. Specifically, the clitoria ternatea species includes a variety of beautiful flowers that are celebrated efflorescence of the clitoris and vulva. Chiefly among them is the butterfly pea. A search for ‘clitoria ternatea’ will bring-up beautiful photos of this flower species that resemble the female clitoris and vulva.


        This answer accepted by Duchess. on February 21, 2020 Earned 15 points.

        • 4 answers
        • 10 votes
      • On the floor Asked on February 21, 2020 in Question of the Day.

          Good question. To turn the question around, “How do I respond when my spouse compliments me?” Answer: say a simple ‘thank you.’

          Years ago, in another state at a wonderful church, we had a God-gifted worship leader. His musical ability was phenomenal. Most important, he humbly led the congregation in worship. Whenever, we complimented him, though, he would deflect and demur to such an extent that it made us feel uncomfortable. Mrs. Oldbear and I prayed that he would be free to accept compliments.  We believe not accepting compliments is disrespectful – to the complimenter and the Lord!

          • 12 answers
          • 1 votes
        • On the floor Asked on February 21, 2020 in Masturbation (Married - solo or together).

            Since the two of you are having good, open conversation about your sex life, masturbation should be discussed and agreed on. Masturbation may improve, be neutral, or detract from an intimate, healthy sex life. Masturbation that produces guilt (a personal struggle and/or due to a spousal agreement to refrain) can affect healthy sexual intimacy between a husband and wife. Masturbation to satisfy unfulfilled intimacy is also problematic. Masturbation with the wholehearted agreement, even encouragement, between spouses can enhance the unity and fulfillment of sexual intimacy with each other.

            Masturbating in secret or with uncertainty about the comfort and agreement of a spouse ought to be addressed. You are encouraged to have a good conversation about masturbation with your wife.

            • 21 answers
            • 0 votes
          • On the floor Asked on February 20, 2020 in Question of the Day.

              Hmmm. A few items for both of us! 😏

              • 13 answers
              • 2 votes
            • On the floor Asked on February 20, 2020 in Activities & Items .

                We tried nipple clamps, but Mrs. Oldbear prefers my tactile touch and manipulative pressure, twisting, and pinching timed to provide her pleasant pain with rising pleasure. For her, nipple clamps are too passive and mechanical.

                • 4 answers
                • 0 votes
              • On the floor Asked on February 20, 2020 in Non-Sexual Romance .

                  Love languages can serve to help a couple better understand each other. As so many ‘handles’ to aid in communication and relationship, they serve as a valuable aid to strengthen and deepen love and appreciation for each other. If misused or misunderstood they can be of no use and even weaken or hurt the relationship.

                  We know a husband of a dear friend of Mrs. Oldbear that blurted out, “Those aren’t your love languages!” after his wife shared her top two. He then proceeded to declare that her love languages included one of his own. They struggled with communication in their marriage – this was a telltale piece of evidence. He is a very ‘needy’ spouse who cared more about himself than understanding, appreciating, and meeting his wife’s desires and needs.

                  • 11 answers
                  • 1 votes
                • On the floor Asked on February 15, 2020 in Chit Chat, Jokes, and More .

                    Mrs. Oldbear and I spent the morning with one of our advisors and then enjoyed an hour and a half lunch in a fine restaurant. Flowers arrived for her in the afternoon and we exchanged V-day cards. The evening was spent with the fireplace ablaze as we enjoyed a two-part BBC mystery movie. Then we cuddled a lot, prayed together, and enjoyed a blissful sleep.

                    • 20 answers
                    • 1 votes
                  • On the floor Asked on February 15, 2020 in Prayer Needs/Praises (Any and all prayer request and praises.).

                      Prayed and praying. Claim I Corinthians 10:13

                      13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

                      Remember your wedding day vows. They are sacred.
                      • 12 answers
                      • 0 votes
                    • The two words for us are intimacy and vulnerability. Being together and ‘one’ for decades has eliminated any embarrassment or shame. We are comfortable in our respective skin and find our bodies very attractive and delightful. Certainly, the missionary position is very intimate. Nothing surpasses the emotional connection of seeing and hearing and feeling each other’s response to our intimate abandon.

                      The ‘position’ we find most intimate and vulnerable is mutual masturbation. For me, having Mrs. Oldbear watch me and participate with me as we stand in front of a mirror is vulnerable for me and intimate for both of us. Watching myself in the mirror as she watches me masturbate is intensely emotional. Then, when she masturbates next to me in bed her freedom to touch herself, show her delight, and express herself as I watch is ultimately intimate for both of us as she releases her vulnerability to me.

                      • 16 answers
                      • 1 votes