Wren's Profile
Queen bed
318
Points

Questions
3

Answers
38

  • Queen bed Asked on November 10, 2019 in Activities & Items .

      My fave has been the Shibari Mini Halo, which is available on Amazon for less than $30. It is soft, and gentle on the lady business, but also has some serious power potential.

      • 284 views
      • 9 answers
      • 1 votes
    • Queen bed Asked on November 7, 2019 in None of The Above.

        On the occasions when I’ve needed to rub down my husband, I’ve just used olive oil. Hey, it has been used as a ‘beauty’ treatment for thousands of years, right? I like that it is lighter than coconut oil, and it feels better in my hands.

        From a massage perspective, have you studied ways to give massage, that don’t involve heavy use of the hands? I need massage therapy for my hip and leg (I’ve got joint impingement and nerve damage), and the gal who takes care of me tends to use her forearms and the heels of her palms. Now that I think about it, the only time when she really uses her digits, it’s during the spreading of massage lotion, and when she touches my face.

        • 224 views
        • 9 answers
        • 0 votes
      • Queen bed Asked on November 7, 2019 in Activities & Items .

          We’ve never tried glass, but I will confess that I have an absolutely horrible sense of spacial reasoning. I’ve seen things online, looked at the dimensions, and didn’t think a thing about the purchase until I’ve got a monster in my hand, and then don’t know what to do with it. Far be it from me to ever throw something like that away, without at least trying it first. lol In my experience, arousal is the most important thing to be mindful of. The vagina has amazing stretchy superpowers, but no amount of lube can bridge the gap, if the arousal isn’t stoked really high. I found that using a position that allowed for the straightest entry, helped decrease discomfort. She may need more aftercare, especially since you are using toys that have no give. What feels good in the moment, or at least tolerable if trying something bordering on painful, can cause a surprising amount of tenderness after all of the excitement has worn off.

          • 373 views
          • 8 answers
          • 0 votes
        • I’ve typed out probably 3 or 4 different responses, and I am still struggling to find the right words. It’s failing me, so I’m going to just try a very blunt way of stating things, hoping that somehow I can communicate well enough to be heard….

          My husband is sometimes very thoughtful and considerate, especially when it comes to my physical well being. He works incredibly hard to provide for me, and the children. He is understanding of my struggles with a chronic condition that causes me a lot of pain, and limits my mobility. He’s very forgiving about the fact that our house isn’t as neat and tidy as it should be, and that sometimes we’re eating takeout again, because I can’t stand long enough to prepare dinner. If it wasn’t for his care, I don’t know what I’d do.

          On the flip side of our relationship, he is very insecure and controlling. I cannot stress to you how bad this aspect of our relationship is. If I turn off the tracking app on my phone, while sitting down to a cup of coffee, he will video-call me to make sure that I’m not meeting someone. He has open access to every communication that I have, all browser histories, and at one time put software on my phone so he could log my every keystroke. I’m never told that I can’t go anywhere, can’t do anything. I have free access to all of our funds. He just needs to know where I am, who I’m with, and to whom I may or may not be talking to – at all times. He has always been this way, but I didn’t realize what was going on when we were dating, because he was more stealthy. He enjoys degrading me, and believes that I should be fine with it, because he loves me. Therefore, no matter how he mocks me, teases me, or whatever names he calls me, I’m never supposed to have hurt feelings over it. I’ve asked him if he is purposefully trying to break me down, so that I will feel that no one else would ever want me, so he can feel secure that I won’t leave him. He says that that isn’t his intent. He doesn’t understand why my feelings get hurt, and why I don’t just adjust to fit his … way of ‘showing affection’. He derives a great deal of enjoyment from seeing unfiltered reactions, and so he’ll do things that he knows I abhor, just to watch me get upset. One of the latest examples is that he likes to slap my face while we’re cuddled close. It’s not enough to hurt me, just startle me and make me upset. He knows how much I hate it. Even though he knows that, his love of eliciting reactions causes him to push me to just accept it, instead of acknowledging that he is damaging our connection when he chooses his wants over my need to not be slapped.

          I’ll be honest and admit that there are a number of times when I have seriously considered ending our marriage. There have been times when I’ve been so driven so deeply into depression, that I’ve thought that the only way to get out of this situation was to kill myself. In spite of his awful behavior, I do love the man who is in there. We talk through a lot of his acting out, and I see that he makes some effort to change his ways. Still, he is very broken, and he takes it out on me, and calls it love. This makes me sad a lot. I’m not interested in only looking at the good things, and the things that I’m thankful for. I can’t turn my back to the garbage, and pretend like it’s not there, in the hope that it will disappear or I’ll forget about it. Maybe I’m looking at it all wrong. Maybe I’m not supposed to be content, and feel less grieved. Maybe I’m not supposed to embrace Paul with his contentedness in plenty, and in want. Some days I really do feel more like David, crying out in despair, waiting on salvation. How does a person live like that though? Always mourning for the connection with their spouse that they’ll never really have? Sometimes I just want to not want.

          Oh, and no, I don’t vent to anyone. I’m only discussing this here, because you don’t know me.

          • 243 views
          • 11 answers
          • 1 votes
        • Queen bed Asked on November 6, 2019 in Activities & Items .

            I don’t need jewelry or oils, lingerie or fancy dinners. I just need his full attention, and for him to set his mind and attention on pleasing me. I pour a lot into making intimacy everything that he desires, and in a perfect scenario we’d both be filling one another’s cup. That’s all that I see as perfection.

            • 245 views
            • 3 answers
            • 0 votes
          • Queen bed Asked on November 6, 2019 in Pain (During or preventing sex).

              I have a trick hip that likes to hurt me, and muck up my back. Because my hip dislocates so easily, sex is always a concern. Still, I choose the pain. I schedule chiropractic care 3x a week, and massage therapy whenever I can, to mitigate the effects as much as possible. That connection with my husband means a lot to me, and I am willing to pay the price for it. Frankly, my hip and back pain aren’t going away, and I refuse to let it steal my pleasure, along with my mobility. I just jokingly think of it as another aspect of bdsm. Lol Floggers, rope, and…. chiropractic adjustments. 😂

              • 255 views
              • 9 answers
              • 1 votes
            • I find very little difference between footwear and lingerie, in the bedroom. It’s all a matter of personal preference, as to what one finds arousing and beneficial to the atmosphere. 🙂 My husband likes sheer negligees, and I happen to adore short skirts and taaaaall boots. We all have our things, but I don’t think that it means our emotions take a backseat to the preference or kink. If someone were indiscriminately sleeping with others, based only on their desire to play out a kink, then I’d see that as a situation that plays directly to your concern. Playing with clothing as a part of your marriage adventure? Your emotions are intrinsically entwined in your interactions with your beloved. I wouldn’t worry that they are being lost along the way, because of high heels and boots. Have fun! ❤

              • 288 views
              • 7 answers
              • 0 votes
            • Queen bed Asked on November 5, 2019 in Intercourse (PIV) & Positions.

                I don’t love WOT. I can’t really orgasm from that position. I’m not a huge fan of spooning either, but enjoy ‘doggy’, and that’s as close as I can get. I’m longer in the leg than my husband, and he feels frustrated by that particular position, because of alignment issues. Thankfully, finding angles and rhythm hasn’t been an issue for us. I suspect that that mostly has to do with the fact that I will do the lion’s share of the ‘work’.

                • 504 views
                • 20 answers
                • 1 votes
              • Queen bed Asked on November 5, 2019 in Question of the Day.

                  The only time that I’ve found it too cold for sex, we were outside in winter.  It’s enough now, to just throw enough blankets on the bed, that I don’t feel the need to wear leggings and a hoodie to bed. lol Brrr….

                  • 314 views
                  • 17 answers
                  • 0 votes
                • Queen bed Asked on November 5, 2019 in Question of the Day.

                    When he’s feelin’ himself, I find pretty much anything that he wears to be wildly sexy. lol I am particularly fond of both his business casual style, and when he’s wearing jeans and a t-shirt while wrenching on cars. Hmm. I think what I like isn’t so much fabric, but confidence and competence. hahaha.

                    • 582 views
                    • 22 answers
                    • 0 votes