Saying No to sex

    Have you said NO to your spouse request for sex before? How often do you say no to sex and what were your reasons?

    Queen bed Asked on May 17, 2019 in MARRIED SEX.
    • Result

    Select your answer - End in June 30, 2019

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    Results of this poll (This poll was expired)

    38 Votes
    29% I have never said no to sex with my spouse before.
    13% I am a man - I have said no to sex with my wife because I was tired
    11% I am a man - I have said no to sex with my wife because I was angry
    8% I am a man - I have said no to sex with my wife because I was not in the mood.
    8% I am a man - I have said no to sex with my wife because I was sick
    8% I am a woman - I have said no to sex with my husband because I was sick
    5% I am a man- I have said no to sex to my wife many times with no reason
    5% I am a woman - I have said no to sex with my husband because I was tired
    5% I am a woman - I have said no to sex with my husband because I was not in the mood.
    5% I am a woman- I said no to sex with my husband because I dont enjoy sex with him
    3% I am a woman - I have said no to sex with my husband because I was angry
    0% I am a man - I said no to sex with my wife because I dont enjoy sex with her
    0% I am a woman- I have said no to sex to my husband many times with no reason

    9 Comments

    • Sam May 17, 2019

      Congrats to folks who have never said No to sex request from their spouse before. I hope we can also learn some lessons from this poll, considering the reasons for saying No to sex and working on it. Thanks for taking part in this poll. God bless you

      Reply

    • tentsofpurple May 17, 2019

      I didn’t vote but I’m wondering why are there more options for men, they have 7 “I have said no because …” and the women have only 3 “I said no because” options.

      Reply

      • Sam May 17, 2019

        Thanks for your observations. I posted same questions for both men and women. I have tired editing it. Please will love to read your take on the poll and do vote too. God bless you.

        Reply

    • humbled May 17, 2019

      I have never said no, except during that good old refractory period

      Reply

      • Sam May 27, 2019

        Wow, that’s great.
        Saying no during the old refractory period is understandable.
        What motivates you in not saying NO?

        Reply

    • SeekingChange May 17, 2019

      I believe there is ALWAYS a reason someone says no. I have said “no” for all the reasons above and probably plus some. Because there is not an option to portray that, I didn’t vote either.

      Reply

    • panwan May 17, 2019

      did not vote because i can’t remember my spouse having ever asked.

      Reply

    • Patient_Kind May 18, 2019

      I have never said no to sex because:
      • my DW and I used to have sex 1x every 6 weeks or so
      • I am the HD in our marriage
      • I take what I can get
      • she’s asked me only a handful of times in our 8 years of marriage
      • never want to miss an opportunity to be intimate with my DW, physically or otherwise

      Reply

    • PaulB May 22, 2019

      Full stop no is pretty much unheard of for us these days. Part of that is neither of us will ask if it seems obvious it’s not reasonable. And as an adjunct to that, bott of us have offered when we are very tired or sick but suspect our spouse would like to.

      We are also both willing to make our desire known even when it’s clearly not a good time. That can result in a quick handjob, or an agreement to make it happen at a specific time in the next 24 hours. There is good give and take on this, depending on how much the one feels the need. We’ve also both said “Later” to wait for a time when it can be for both of us.

      Reply

    • Padivo May 23, 2019

      I’ve heard no many times. Now I know not to ask. Low expectations are the way for me.

      Reply

      • LostaGoodThing May 24, 2019

        Padivo, I’m sorry. I’ve been there myself. DW was fighting depression and it led to a lot of rejection in and out of the bedroom. Perhaps worse than a NO was a scowl and a “Oh, I suppose…” and then a guilt trip to follow. Something tells me you’re experiencing the same thing. Just remember, that’s HER and not YOU. She’s got something absolutely awful that she’s wrestling and unfortunately you get the brunt of it. It’s not fair. It’s not right.

        I’m a huge fan of couples counseling. If she refuses to join you (and she likely will), go without her. Learn to work on yourself and use it as a springboard to get her to join you. I hate to say it, but things will only get worse if you don’t take action.

        It took me 2 years working through our issues on my own before I finally had a chance to bring DW to counseling. I know things would have improved, if it weren’t for her cancer. We were making progress. We had a LONG way to go but I loved that woman so much. It was worth the pain.

        Ok, maybe that’s way more than you want to hear, but your situation sounds eerily similar to mine. I just anted to let you know A) It’s not OK that she acts this way and B) There is HOPE!! You CAN get your marriage back on track. Praying for you, brother.

        Reply

    • LostaGoodThing May 24, 2019

      Not a listed answer, but there were a few times I said no to protect myself. DW fought depression and WOW did it show in the bedroom. Towards the end of our marriage, she had picked up a habit of using sex to manipulate me into getting what she wanted. There were times where I felt trapped and the only way out was to say no. That is a HORRIBLE place to be in a marriage.

      I envy all of those who responded that they’ve never said no. Perhaps someday God will allow me to enjoy a marriage like that :-).

      Reply

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