Sleeping Habits

    Before I was married, I always envisioned sleeping cuddled up with my husband. In reality, 99% of the time I can’t fall asleep if we’re touching each other. There has to be a separation or I’m up all night. I’m grateful for our king sized bed. My reality is so different than my previous assumption that I was just wondering how common this is.

    So… when you’re really *sleeping* together, what does that look like?

    Blanket on a secluded beach! Asked on October 21, 2019 in Polls.
    • Result

    Select your answer - End in October 31, 2020

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    Results of this poll

    51 Votes
    31% We're in the same bed, but we don't touch most of the time.
    27% We have some kind of physical contact most nights
    18% We have some kind of physical contact sometimes.
    12% We spoon some of the time.
    4% We sleep in a full on spoon most nights.
    4% We sleep in different beds or different rooms.
    4% Other, please explain in comments


    • SeekingChange October 21, 2019

      I’m not a physical touch person, but I am someone who needs security, so we are often touching and could fit on a twin size bed. So even back on the nights I was mad, and with a king size bed we could fit a couple of kids between us, I would still reach out my foot to touch him. I do love the room on a king because I have to turn a lot, and when it is hot, it’s nice to be able to roll over where it’s cooler.


    • GeorgeB October 21, 2019

      If we’ve just had sex, we’ll fall asleep cuddling. In wintertime, we do tend to cuddle a bit more. In the summer, definitely not, unless we’ve just had sex.


    • BroadSword October 21, 2019

      I like to spoon her, with some sort of physical contact attached (cupping a breast, hand on her hip/butt or upper thigh, arm across her stomach, etc.). But sometimes laying that way puts pressure on my arm, shoulder or hip and I have to lay a different way to alleviate it. Or the heat my body generates is too much for my wife to handle (she says it’s like sleeping next to a blast furnace sometimes 🙂 ) and I have to sleep with some separation. But even then I try to touch her in some way, even if it’s just holding her hand.


    • Duchess October 21, 2019

      Our default is either him spooning me or me resting on his shoulder (though that is less now because he has come to prefer sleeping on his side). We only sleep not touching when it’s just too hot (and his body can be like the surface of the sun sometimes!), or if one of us has some sort of pain that precludes the cuddle positions. Sometimes after we’ve spooned for a while, if I am just restless, I want to lay on my tummy and he draws back like I have rejected him, but I try to still hold his hand or touch feet.


    • newwifenewlife October 22, 2019

      We are usually touching by one of us reaching out to the other on the arm, hand, butt or hip. We got a king size bed when we got married two years ago for space BUT for all practical purposes, DW loves to sleep close to me or spawl so I don’t usually have a lot of space to myself. A couple times I’ve actually got up and went to her side of the bed because there was more room. 😀 With that said, I’ll spoon with her and she’ll place my hand on her breasts…OR she also enjoys spooning behind me and cuddling that way just before we go to sleep too.


    • LuckyInLove October 22, 2019

      I can totally relate to DoveGrey. DH and I both thought it would be wonderful to be able to spoon all night long when we got married. Turns out, neither of us can stand being touched when trying to sleep.


    • tentsofpurple October 22, 2019

      We are the opposite we have to be touching in some way to sleep. We usually start off facing each other and intertwined (with my cold toes tucked between his thighs) switch back and forth from him spooning me to me spooning him and then settle into our backs pressed against each other for a final sleeping position. Sometimes we turn and spoon each other in the night sometimes not, but we are always touching to some degree. I like having something to lean up against while I’m sleeping, otherwise I feel like I’m falling. I also love snuggling with him, we sleep naked and he’s like a furnace and keeps me warm.


    • GaryB October 22, 2019

      We like to spoon with either me (H) in front or wife in front, but both of us dealing with sweating issues periodically, it doesn’t last too long. She is still having menopausal hot flashes and I occasionally just sweat. So what works for us is I lay on my stomach and she is on her back (not her fav but necessary with her acid reflux), I reach out my right hand and hold her left hand. We often fall asleep holding hands.


    • Brynna October 22, 2019

      We sleep touching, all night. We fall asleep spooning, or one of us will sleep on the back and the other on the side, or I will fall asleepin DH’s arms. If I wake up at night, its interesting to note how and where we are touching either. Might be a whole body cuddle or just feet, or any other touching.


    • Slipthegrasp October 22, 2019

      We spoon, we touch but when she sleeps she rolls. So you can’t do much with that.


    • BarefootBeachGirl October 22, 2019

      We even have separate blankets, but we share a bed.


    • Ron October 23, 2019

      We spoon when we go to bed and just relax with each other, after one of us is nearly asleep, we roll apart, gets too hot (not sexually) to stay together.


    • New_Wife October 23, 2019

      We usually fall asleep spooning and the move apart sometime after that.


    • Scott October 24, 2019

      We almost always spoon after ML, and occasionally on other nights. We’re the same height, so either person can be either big/small spoon. Often, its too hot for all-night contact, so I opted for “We have some kind of physical contact most night.”


    • MNflyer October 26, 2019

      We spoon with her in front every night. Never gets old skin to skin.


    • Outdoorsman December 9, 2019

      Face to face problems: I usually end up accidentally squishing a boob 🙁

      Spooning problems: I usually get her hair in my mouth or eyes at some point 🙂

      Back to back is perfect! You get some physical contact without the uncomfortable side effects! XD


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