06/02/20 – Today’s Question of the Day

    Before you were married, did you admire your parents’ marriage and relationship, and hope you would have one like it someday? Why, or why not?

    Were there any other marriages that you admired?

    Under the stars Asked on June 1, 2020 in Question of the Day.
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    17 Answer(s)

      Yes, I definitely looked up to my parents and respected their marriage. They were committed to following Jesus and also to staying together as a couple. Sure, they had their faults, yet they were determined to work them out. My Dad was a good listener and Mom was good at talking! Dad treated my Mom as his bride all through their decades together and loved to buy her things. Mom had the gift of service and joyfully served in the home and their church.

      The older I got the more I admired what they had accomplished – you know how that happens as we get older and experience our own real-life challenges! They both worked hard, doing their part in the marriage, family, and the family business. All of their kids are living for the Lord!

      I also saw a lot of good things in my grandparents. They had an engaging sense of humor and loved to laugh together. In their retirement years, my grandfather served his wife and learned how to do things in the kitchen. They were good at hospitality and friendly to all their neighbors. They were really poor, but I sensed they were filled with God’s joy and a deep love for each other.

      Under the stars Answered on June 2, 2020.
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        I think I took them for granted at the time. I guess it’s human nature to focus on the negatives. My dad drank a little much and smoked and left much of the parenting to my busybody mother.

        I appreciate them much more now that I’m older and wiser! They celebrated 50 years recently. My father put us through college and never missed a day of work. He has cared for my mom thru all of her many health issues. He is an absolute rock! We didn’t talk much about bedroom activities, but I remember being 9 or 10 and finding some large vibrating dildos and I heard them a couple times. 😱 Let’s just say my mother was way more vocal than my wife is. Probably had something to with my disappointment in my wife’s lack of enthusiasm over the years.

        California King Answered on June 2, 2020.
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          No.  My parents separated at age 6 and divorced when I was 8.  Most of my memories of them together are of arguing and fighting.  Nothing to admire there.

          On the floor Answered on June 2, 2020.
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            My folks have always had a fun and close relationship. I recognize how blessed I’ve been to have that example. The one thing that stands out as a great thing I learned from their relationship, as a child, is that I always knew that they were each others’ true love and priority. I never had cause to question if they loved me or my siblings, but I always knew that they loved each other more, if that makes sense. They were eternal companions, and the four of us kids learned how to cherish our own marital relationships by watching how they have cherished theirs.

            Fell out of ... Answered on June 2, 2020.
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              Nah. They held it together for nearly 30 years, but toxic characteristics eventually did them in.
              I will give them one kudos. No matter how big the problem, they never fought in front of me.
              I did not take that bonus into my marriage.

              California King Answered on June 2, 2020.

              Marriage is never about years. Or first few years of marriage were totally different than the next 15. And the last 10 years of marriage have been really bad, to the horrific point that I wanted a divorce. The last 2 years have been better. Despite vagisimus we have been better in the sex area these last 2 years.

              on June 3, 2020.
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                Absolutely and always! They’re celebrating 58 years this month and have always modeled love, good conflict resolution, and a God-honoring marriage and ministry…and while I don’t know what their bedroom is like, I do know 🤢 that they have always celebrated sex. (I’ve told the story before here about DW, then fiancé, and I checking out their shower size before building ours and my mom asking if we agreed that it’s big enough for two. ROTFL!)

                Yes there are others, especially some blended family marriages that have been models and mentored us some as their journeys are well down the road from ours.

                Under the stars Answered on June 2, 2020.
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                  Not my parents’, but my grandparents. My father was the “anti-husband/father”, showed me the opposite of what to be. I wanted what mawmaw and pawpaw had in relationship. Though as far back as I can remember they slept in different bedrooms. I never knew why. They always seemed happy together and it was obvious the love they shared. My aunt is still alive but I would never ask her about that aspect of her parents. I suspect it was a health reason but don’t know. Whatever the reason, it never seemed to cause any discontent between them or lack of devotion. We just grew up knowing that was mawmaw’s room, and that was pawpaw’s. They were always pleasant, hospitable, devoted to church, generous to neighbors, hard working depression era subsistence farmers. I spent more of my time with them than anyone or anywhere else. As I walk this ground every day, their legacy reverberates in my mind.

                  The choices of my father was the only thing I ever saw that caused them visible distress. They never understood why. It was the opposite of what they had taught him. 

                  On the floor Answered on June 2, 2020.
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                    I have always admired my parents marriage and a number of married  couples in my church. They are very beautiful godly marriages.  Growing up, money was a big problem but my parents loved each other and lived happily married until  daddy left to receive his reward. I pray that God will give me a great beautiful happy christian marriage and money should not be a problem.

                    King bed Answered on June 2, 2020.
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                      No. I didn’t know my real dad (he left when i was 3) and my step dad abused me.

                      I’m in a marriage that’s lasted almost 39 years and i was married shortly after i turned 19. I think only by the grace of God and that we are both committed Christians. Doesn’t mean any of it was/is ever easy and i never get to stop self examining! Hard work but worth it.

                      On the floor Answered on June 2, 2020.
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                        At a young age I always admired other kids parents who seemed to be in love and were making marriage work well for their families.  We were a disaster, I say that with heaviness of having contributed nothing to their success as a child.  My dad was an alcoholic and we were co-contributors.  The pain of everyday living was overwhelming and horrific.  No, there was no admiration of what my parents possessed.  That was not marriage as it was intended.

                        Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on June 2, 2020.

                        This sounds like you believe partial blame falls on you as a child for your father’s alcoholism. I sincerely hope you do not really believe that. No child can be held responsible for the choices made by adults! Even if you were the most ill-behaved, difficult child ever, your parents, as the adults, had the responsibility to teach you without resorting to destructive practices OR to find outside help if they couldn’t handle it or became ill. Please, please do not allow yourself to accept blame for your father’s illness!

                        on June 3, 2020.
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