06/03/2020 – Today’s Question of the Day
Interesting question. At the beginning of our relationship I was attracted to my wife by her personality, the fact that her values and faith were similar to mine, and of course I liked the way her butt looked in jeans! (Still do) I would say that getting married and the thought of monogamy provided the conditions for an erotic life that was meaningful and not just the joining of genitalia. Consummating the marriage is the physical sign that the spouses have pledged their lives to one another.
As I have said before, sex has both a physical and a spiritual component that bonds the spouses together. Monogamy is the proper state for human sexuality because of that spiritual connection; sex has the effect of establishing what should be a permanent bond between two people, even if they are unaware that this in fact is what sex does. There is a Tom Cruise movie called ‘Vanilla Sky’. I have not seen it, but there is a great line from that movie spoken by the woman he is sleeping with. She tells him “Don’t you know that when you sleep with someone your body makes a promise whether you do or not’.
Now, after nearly 29 years of marriage, we have gone through many things together; living through many job-related stresses, buying our first home, raising our family, caring for our aging parents, etc. All of this ‘life lived together’ has added even more ‘meaning’ and depth to our marriage bed and is a result of living in a committed monogamous relationship over a long period of time.
I can’t say I’ve given it substantial thought and I’m not sure I find it erotic. But it is arousing in knowing what your spouse likes and being able to do that for them at an ‘expert level’ as I find self-confidence a turn on. And the other way around, it’s a total turn on that someone else knows my body perfectly and what makes it tick.
So I guess there’s a comfort level in familiarity which is arousing to me. TBH, the thought of starting over sexually with someone else is exhausting to me!
Monogamy doesn’t have to be monotonous. There is a special beauty that comes with the blessing of one woman/one man committed to each other in a spiritual, emotional and physical way through marriage. The continuation of exploration as bodies change (and in some respects takes on new shape:-)) in response or desire is both a challenge and a blessing. If the years pass and we find that our spouse isn’t who we thought they once were, maybe it’s time to rekindle the fire and remember what it means to “leave and cleave”. Perhaps throw in a reread of Song of Solomon for good measure as well, to keep the home fires burning. I know some couples who go through a private ceremony of renewing their vows. So, yes, it is arousing to think of joining with my wife in TMB, whether just for a quickie, an erotic game night or sensual touch through massage, foreplay and then intercourse. Thanks for the question @Scott.
I wouldn’t say erotic. I would say arousing. I love the fact that I’m the only person who gets to see and play with her boobies (Yes, I’m still a giddy teenage boy when it comes to hers!) and enjoy her body….and she mine, imperfections and all. I relish in the thought that she & I are the only ones who get to play in our marriage bed and send each other to the moon and back! IT IS AWESOME!!!
There is definitely some aspects of monogamy that I find really hot.
One way it appears in the marriage bed is in my thoughts during a sexual session. It is not uncommon for me to think things like “no one else gets to see this”, “I’m the only one that experiences this with her”, “she’s opening herself to me and me alone“, and “I share myself with no one but her”. Basically, to put it crudely (hope no one is offended), I view it as “no one else gets to tap this”, and I’ll occasionally say things to that effect to rev us both up. I can actually use that to help my performance in extended PIV sessions if I start to lose hardness, as thoughts like that can quickly take me up to the PONR…I just have to stop thinking them before I get there.
Another thing I think is really erotic is seeing/feeling the engagement and wedding rings while we’re in a session. I love her hands on me in general, but if it’s the left one then LOOK OUT. This plays out as holding hands during intercourse, which is hot enough even with her right hand. My favorite thing though is seeing her left hand grasp my genitals…so awesome to see.
Monogamy is freeing and free to be and do with loving respect and desire with your life-long spouse.
My DW never ceases to arouse me! And sometimes we have engaged in sexual intimacy that is nothing short of erotic. Just now, Mrs. Oldbear headed to the grocery store and said, “Be good, don’t be naughty!” My response: “Does that include not thinking about you (read – sexy thoughts)!?” Her comeback, “Nope, think and imagine all you want!”
Was that arousing – yes! Erotic – hmmm?! Freeing and exciting – very much so!
I’m not sure it is as erotic, as it is assuring, comforting, confidence building, peace giving, freeing, affirming, satisfying, pleasing, joy enhancing, etc.
For me one of the greatest thoughts regarding monogamy is that Mrs. OWM said “yes” to me over 30 years ago and continues to be faithful to that promise each day! She loves Jesus as I do and seeks to please and serve me in ways I don’t deserve! She is the best wife there ever could have been for me (no offense to all the other wonderful wives out there 🙂 ). We are one! We were and still are each others first and only!
In my part of the world polygamy and monogamy are practiced. Most of us Christians here go for monogamy. In the beginning God created Adam and he was lonely. God then took his side rib and formed a beautiful woman for Adam. Adam called her Eve. God did not create two or more females for Adam but only ONE. So I go with the principle, One woman for one man for life.
I find monogamy to be arousing and very erotic. DW always arouses me and I find her to be very erotic. When she is nude, I see real beauty. God really took His time to create her, the curves, shapes, colour, sizes of her parts from her hair to her toes all these for my enjoyment alone for life.I do not want to share her with anyone same with her.
Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.
May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth:
No, I have never thought it erotic or arousing….but I can name many benefits from it. In my past, I have actually felt similar to some of @Trackers thoughts… feeling like “bondage not so freeing”. The thought of eternally being bound in marriage to my husband does not sound like heaven at all to me. Don’t get me wrong, I love him and want to spend eternity with him, just not in a marriage relationship.