07/30/2020 – Today’s Question of the Day
That’s an incorrect stereotype as fas as both of us are concerned.
Who doesn’t like to play with their spouse’s ‘parts’? It’s not hard for me to play with the ‘girls’, for a long time. She likes to play with the ‘boys’ too.! When one of us can’t take it anymore, we get to the real deal.
With DH and I this is switched. He likes to take his time and have plenty of foreplay, and while I do think this enhances things when we ML I often get too in my own head about it. I start putting a lot of pressure on myself to do something new or keep it interesting and pleasurable for him, and so I often feel relieved when we get right to it.
I think I definitely have some room to grow here.
I like either…so I’ll take both! I enjoy giving to my wife AND I like to receive. I love to see my wife get turned on and I certainly enjoy looking at her body, touching her curves. I told her this morning that that’s actually the only good part of menopause right now, she’ll throw off the covers multiple times a night and she’s usually naked in the morning so I get a spectacular view at all times of day or night. And trust me, that is a fantastic view to wake up to, even better than a sunrise!!! I even sang the chorus of Sam Hunt’s song BODY LIKE A BACK ROAD this morning as we were lying there and I was kissing and caressing her.
I’ll also say that the older I get, the more I personally need more foreplay if I’m gonna O within at least 12-24 hrs of our last LM session, not always but it is becoming more often.
For me, I don’t mind or should say wouldn’t mind more foreplay, primarily for the sheer pleasure of it I can become aroused quite quickly, so it’s more for the pleasurable experience of giving and receiving. My wife on the other hand has a very delicate balance. Too little and she isn’t aroused. Too much and she either loses interest or she loses the edge and then can’t O. It’s a thin line for her.
I’d like more foreplay but only a certain kind. Dh tends to rush straight to his “favorite” areas (I’m sure you can guess which ones) I’d rather more teasing touches in other places and more flirting and build up. In terms of genital based foreplay I’d much rather do without and go straight to piv as its ticklish bordering on painful but piv helps me get warmed up and then I enjoy it. If I were answering for dh I’d venture to guess he’d like more of the kind of foreplay he tends to try on me, direct handling of the most pertinent area. I tend to touch him more how I’d like to be touched, stroking his back, rubbing his hair etc. I think we both “speak” our foreplay “language” to the other when we really should swap.
Like ToP, I’m always wishing for a little more of the flirtatious lead-up and light non-sexual touching and waiting a while longer to get to the playing around with his three favorites. OTOH, sometimes it’s possible to get in a sort of holding pattern where he seems like he’s just trying to give me “long enough” til he can get to the “good stuff” and it can feel like he’s bored. I think it’s important for him to be very aware of how I’m responding to what he’s doing; but in the same vein, I realized I don’t always give him clear feedback either. Communication and paying careful attention to how the other is responding to your foreplay is key. I guess we just need to practice more. 😉
As for foreplay for him, he seems to be uniquely insensitive to most non-sexual touch. He finds no pleasure in massage, playing with his hair, gentle stroking of anything but the actual sex organs and even some spots/moves that are supposed to be super sensitive hot spots just don’t seem to phase him. But what he does like, he really likes and I love to do that for him and would like to do it for a lot longer (because I love how much he enjoys it!) but it is hard for him to hold out for PIV if I do too much of it. So I would actually love to give more foreplay, but have to be careful.
I would agree that generally women want or need more foreplay than men. My DW almost always has to have a certain amount of warm up time for sex.
I would enjoy much more foreplay than I have been getting lately for two reasons. Because of age I am dealing with mild ED, therefore need more warm up time than in the past, and I am also able to last much longer than in the past, so would enjoy longer LM sessions.
Foreplay is stereotyped as something desired primarily by women. Do you agree with this stereotype?
I agree that this is typically viewed to be true. And in most cases, it is true.
However it isn’t bad for the DH. In fact, additional foreplay makes it better for me too! So, I don’t like to rush foreplay but enjoy every minute of it! I prefer more than less. (Unless we’re not doing PIV and it is going to be a handjob or a suckjob.)