08/11/20- Today’s Question of the Day
To those that have married children, have you told them about TMB and do they know that you participate here? Why, or why not?
If you have younger children, or plan to have children, do you think you will tell them about TMB and its forum when they get engaged/married? Why, or why not?
My kids used to ask me “What’s “The Marriage Bed”?”, because they would see it on my screen. I told them it was a marriage ministry. No, I have not pointed it out as a resource, and probably never will, unless I leave and quit participating. But I also have the belief, if God directs others I know here on their own, they may never connect me to here and that if they do, it’s no big deal, because it’s God’s plan.
I have 2 teenage daughters and my oldest is definitely talking about getting married in 3ish years. I want her to have all the knowledge and resources she can to build a God/centered and healthy marriage. We will definitely lead her to teachings, podcasts, and sources of good information. Because there are multiple opinions coming from a wide range of people and backgrounds, I will most likely not steer her towards TMB at the beginning. I believe she will need to hear a few trusted voices as she builds her foundation in marriage and maybe discover TMB as she matures.
We are still roughly a decade from marrying off our kids. However, we fully intend to equip them with the basics of learning about married sexual intimacy from reliable, Christian sources. A big motivation for this is that neither of us were directly taught or even shown proper ways to learn about married sexual relations. We had no idea about a lot of things and ended up believing a lot of cliches about marriage, such as married people don’t have much sex after kids, sex is mainly for the man, etc.
Like @KFunk, we will probably not opt to point them to our main forum/group at that time (while it is TMB now, it may not be TMB that far in the future), somewhat for our own privacy. Despite that, we will certainly provide them with knowledge of several options.
We certainly would plan to have more conversations and put resources in their hands but Idk about telling them. Maybe…but let me ask you, would you want to know about your parents or pastor getting a blow job on Sat night? Kind of a difficult image to get out of your mind on Sunday morning, especially when my parents are 80 & 84. 😀
This happened to my now wife before we were married. Wife discovered the spouse of a worship leader was giving her husband a “special” 12 days of CMas and she knew that Sat night was a BJ. She said it was hard to worship on Sunday knowing what had happened the night before.
I guess I want to know that my parents and pastor are still honoring and enjoying their marriage bed but I don’t want to know-know.
Both our kids are married and they both know of my work here on TMB. They knew I was involved in it as they were growing up, but neither were very interested in it, of course. When I was doing premarital counseling with them before their weddings, I recommended TMB to them and told them I would never know they were on it, since it’s anonymous. I think both of my sons checked it out briefly after they got married, but neither of them are active AFAIK. It’s here for them if or when they need it, and that’s good!
None of our children are married yet, or at that point, but its fast approaching. Its in the back of my mind that it would be nice for them to read the home page and all the different articles there. However, it seems that for a newly married couple, this forum would be overwhelming to start with, unless they had a specific question. It would have been for me!
Its fine to tell them things, but as I learn by reading and not by hearing, I would much prefer to be given reading material and also to give them things to read, versus thinking they are going to learn it all from us. Than one can always go back to review it if necessary.
Those that mentioned giving them resources to look at, I would be interested in knowing which resources you would be thinking of. I’m always on the lookout for such.