08/12/2020 – Today’s Question(s) of the Day
Were there any sexual positions that you expected to be outstanding either before you had intercourse or when you first started your marriage bed that didn’t pan out?
Likewise, were you surprised at how well a position turned out in the long run when you expected it to be bad or the first few times trying it were lackluster?
What were the reasons that things didn’t end up as expected?
I thought standing positions would be great – I had seen a few in movies (lol!) But, for us there have only been a handful of times that it worked well.
OTOH, doggy style has turned out to be wonderful. Having seen animals copulate in the past, I didn’t make the connection that humans could do it similarly! My early influences told me it had to be face to face! So, it was a great discovery for us to experience enjoyable connection and sensations through doggy style!
Both doggy style and WOT have been disappointing overall. We use them on occasion just to mix it up, but they do nothing for my wife.
I love WOT and expected it to be great for her, but she just can’t figure out the grinding that is apparently necessary to bring pleasure for the woman. Doggy is also good for me, but our fit or angle must be a little off. If I’m not careful it can cause pain/discomfort.
Really all PIV has been somewhat disappointing. We do enjoy regular missionary position sex and it is connecting. However, I guess I’ve never fully gotten rid of my high expectations that my wife would really enjoy PIV. To be fair, I’m sure she would say she does enjoy it, but as a HD man I really want to see and hear it. Laying there like a pillow princess doesn’t send much of a confidence building signal.
For us, Zelda had high hopes for Woman on Top (WOT) prior to us having intercourse. That was the first intercourse position we tried, as it gave her “control” to help her be more comfortable/relaxed. She’d heard that WOT was a great position to help achieve O during PIV. Things didn’t pan out. Though it’s not a horrible position, she doesn’t O without a vibe on her clit (typically requiring very specific placement), and I think WOT is too much work for her to really relax into sex.
In contrast, doggy style just did not work out for us at the start. I can specifically remember our deflowering afternoon, when we tried multiple positions, where Zelda was like “I don’t like this one, it’s not comfortable”. We tried it off/on as we learned each other, and she started liking it more. During her first pregnancy (third year of marriage), she found it to be quite comfortable.
Another one that ended up working out quite well for us was me standing by the side of the bed with her on her back (CFSP positions Butterfly, Packing the Suitcase, and similar). Despite having the same bed during our entire marriage, this took us almost 12 yr to figure out. She suspects the change was getting a new mattress that just slightly changed the height of entry.
Hollywood tends to make some things seem realistic and even easy. One that comes to mind is with hubby standing and wife wrapping her legs around him, so they are face to face. We tried a few times early on, back when we were skinnier and more likely to pull it off, but it just wasnt a position we could make work.
Over the years, DW has had changes to her preferred position to be able to reach O (which is always OUR preferred position). Once upon a time our best move was “doggy”, then WOT (still a favorite but causes hip discomfort for DW), and a standing, edge-of-bed scissors was another. I’d say, for the last while, she seems to prefer edge-of-bed, me standing, easy vibrator access positions. So, I don’t know that any position has really fallen out of favor, just maybe changes in preference.
As for something not seeming great at first, I can’t really think of anything.
I expected Doggy style to be fabulous. I even still like the idea of it. But in reality, I wonder if I don’t have the internal makeup for it. It typically has discomfort and pain involved …and not the good kind.
I didn’t really have a position I had negative thoughts towards, but we have come across a position that works really for us and that we love.
Standing with DW against the wall – seems hot in the moment when kissing and pressed up against herBUT things don’t align well to go the rest of the way…actually at all, so it’s a no-go there for us.
I really can’t think of anything else, ’cause I enjoy the rest of them.
When first married, with a few exceptions PIV was uncomfortable no matter how much foreplay. But that might’ve been due to the fact that we used a diaphragm for contraception and I’m not sure it fit correctly, causing soreness and even infections. Missionary was the default but not ideal since DH has a very wide frame(bone structure etc) and I often found my legs hurting for a day afterward because of accommodating his frame between them.
After giving birth things changed and I discovered that WOT was great. In the last two years doggy style has been surprisingly great for me but so stimulating for DH that he can’t go longer than a minute in that position unfortunately. And missionary is all but relegated to “nearly never.” That said, during pregnancy (I’ve had five) WOT can be painful due to sensitive cervix so doggy-style is best then.
I did not actually give much thought to other positions besides missionary before marriage, but one that I would really like to do that is in reality fairly disappointing for us is sitting face to face. Body types simply won’t allow at this point. Hoping maybe someday. I think the intimacy of that would be just the next best thing to occupying the same space.
PS, thanks to the folks who fix stuff for getting things working again so I could see all the answers before I posted!
For some reason WOT, never was one of our favorites. Perhaps bent knees for Mrs. Youngbear (not even a hint of an option these days!) made it distractingly uncomfortable. Even legs splayed or the edge of the bed position wasn’t always relaxing/comfortable – her arms tired!
I love doggy-style – I have to be expressly careful for her. It allows for deeper penetration and hitting her fornix and cervix and that is not pleasurable for her if too hard or not at the right moment in her ramp-up. Gentle bumping is enjoyed at the pain/pleasure threshold.
For question 1 two positions come to mind.
A. Standing face to face against a wall.
Turns out our body types just don’t allow for this. The angle that is needed for entry really prevents it from being enjoyable.
Again while achievable the angle of entry interferes with the main allure (snuggling and cuddling).
For question 2:
Doggy Style (on bed or standing). I didn’t expect it to be bad per se but I had no idea how incredibly pleasurable doggy would turn out to be for both of us. Now our sex is almost exclusively doggy style.