09/16/2020 – Today’s Questions of the Day
I considered this by thinking about my wife and how she embodies traits common to a woman. I appreciate:
-Her creative/artistic/musical nature, which is the opposite and perfect complement to my logical, sequential left-brained nature.
-Her beauty and gracefulness—it’s something I visually enjoy, and it attracts me to her. And being a bit clumsy and uncoordinated, she has what I lack and I am mesmerized.
-Her fierce loyalty—to me, to our kids, to Jesus, to things she cares about. It brings a passion and focus that is admirable. The “mama bear” persona can be a very good thing!
As for the male side, again I came at it from my personal perspective:
-I love having a strong libido, even if it means I am frustrated at times. It leads me to pursue my wife and strive to find ways to be more alluring to her.
-I enjoy being seen as the leader of my family. While DW and I make important decisions together and I don’t see myself as having an innate claim to more authority than she has, I like that she esteems me as the head of the household and affirms that for our kids.
-I like being athletic and competitive. It has led me to enjoy sports and games my whole life, which are fun and stress relieving.
- Their typical way to communicate….direct, short and to the point, with less emotion. It’s how I like to communicate…. you can fill in all the extra details after you lay out the facts.
- They seem not to buy into the lies Satan sells to moms/women. That makes them were they can see the “forest”, and they have the potential to remind their wives of that truth.
- Their maleness in general…. the strength, the harder lines of their bodies, their desire to protect and provide.
- Nurturers in nature.
- The power they hold as a woman/wife, therefore it must be handled wisely and lovingly.
- A body that is created to make and sustain a life beyond their own.
From my/our POV (we’ve talked about it) and decades of loving and living with Mrs. Oldbear and her with me.
Beauty and Wisdom – I pair these because this is a picture of a Proverbs 31 woman.
Nurture and Love – Twin attributes that a mother gives her children. Very true for Mrs. Youngbear/Oldbear
Perseverance – Mrs. Oldbear is a model of perseverance. I’ve long wondered if God determines a zygote to be male or female based on His foreknowledge of it’s ability to bear children – men are wimps! 😉
Strength and Leadership – Men are to love their wives who desire men who are strong spiritual leaders.
Protector and Provider – The twin pairing complement to a woman’s nurture and love within the family.
My wife is much more relationally oriented than I am and I’m learning to be more sensitive to my behavior and how it helps or many times hinders the emotional/relational connection I have with her or with the rest of the family, especially her daughters ’cause I had three boys (TOTALLY different ball game!!).
One male strength that I really appreciate is how they look after the women in their care. Because of that, I never have to go out in a raging thunderstorm or an unearthly cold night, to set up the generators. I can stay in my cozy bed and than get to warm up DH’s body when he crawls in beside me. I don’t have to fix my own vacuum cleaner, take my own vehicle to the mechanic shop, nor even change a light bulb. DH seems to enjoy all that. Even little boys, at a young age, become the ‘man’ who takes care of the moths that their mom hates, or set the mouse trap and delight in emptying it. Its just so neat to watch that part inside them, grow and become more mature. I consider myself fairly independent, but really I am not. I love to rely on the menfolk in my life.
Another male strength is how they somehow can view a situation without emotion or something. I can’t explain it, but where I can get all wound up about something. DH can just say something which puts it into perspective. Its also interesting now that our son is a teen. He can just make a remark or 2 which makes the whole situation manageable for me again.
Female strengths? Well, who gets up every hour or 2 to check a sick baby or toddler, while DH is sleeping soundly? Or actually he isn’t, he is being disturbed every time I get up. (Another of DH’s strengths. He never complains about that.) Sometimes I tell DH….just don’t worry about this. Its my mother heart again.
Another female strength is beauty. I love colors, beauty, simplicity. When we had a houseful of teen boys one weekend, I knew how I would do it. But our son’s idea was different. He said they would just throw sleeping bags down and probably wouldn’t even use the lamp I had put in the corner. Ok, I decided its a lot simpler to have a houseful of male guests, than girls! I want our place to be welcoming, attractive, etc. DH does not notice mess or an uncleaned house, nor care if food is served from frying pan or serving dish. But I do! I want the table to be attractive. But, to the male brains here, it doesn’t matter! If they set the table, it doesn’t matter to them if there’s other stuff on it or not, or if it even got wiped after the last meal! They just want the food!!
As with other answers, I am going to base this somewhat on our own experiences.
- Empathy. I tend to be colder and more calculating than most females. The inherent tendency to feel/identify with another’s emotions/view has a lot of advantages at times.
- Beauty. The female body is exquisitely attractive. I find the large majority of women to be attractive. Interestingly, there are quite a few secular studies that have found that women often find female nudity more attractive/arousing than male nudity, so both sexes tend to view the ladies as the “fairer sex”.
- Gestation and Babies/Toddlers. The way the average mom feels/interacts with babies/toddlers is just different from the average dad, and in a good way. I think part of it is “knowing” the baby months before birth during gestation, but that’s not all of it because adoptive moms are also often this way. There’s just this thing with moms and babies/toddlers that when they do cute things makes the mom’s “ovaries explode” to use Zelda’s words!
- Physical Strength. Not going to lie, this is hugely awesome. Lifting/carrying/etc are all so much easier for men. For me, as an endurance athlete, I see the physical side a bunch. Despite endurance events being “more even” than brute-strength competitions, I still have an enormous advantage over the ladies. I’m decent for a dude, sometimes being in the top 3 for my age group, but overall nothing special. However, I’d be in the top 0.1% for women, and I guarantee you that all/nearly all of those top women are training much harder/more effectively than I am!
- Logical Decision Making. While empathy is nice at times, being able to turn off the emotions for a logical/calculated decision can also have advantages. Zelda is much more logical than the average gal, but she can’t hold a candle to this.
There are certainly others for both sexes, but I’ll just stop there.
Edited: wrong word
My DW is the more intuitive and spiritual in our relationship. She is the one who taught me that to have close friends, you need to be a friend that others can count on. While she is attractive, her inner beauty is what really shines. She has an uncanny ability to make our family look good, by how she treats others and I reap rewards from her efforts. She shows great respect for me s a man and her husband, and yet has the ability to express herself in a way that causes me to take into account her thoughts.
On the male side of things, her support of me has lead to me serving in leadership roles, that are challenging and completely out of character for me pre-Christ. As I have gained confidence, I have served in management, local government and as a Men’s Ministry Director at a local crisis pregnancy center. As I have matured in those things, she has become my cheerleader and encourager. I came from a broken sexual background and even knowing that she is a fierce lover, who has loved me through the unpacking of my broken trail. Her forgiving, loving nature has been one of the ways Jesus has healed my thought and sex life.
I like to think that I have been able o contribute to her life as well. Coming from a broken family, rife with alcohol and divorce, I’ve tried to give her the faithfulness and stability that she did not have as a child. Together we seem to compliment each other and after 37 years of marriage, find ourselves more deeply in love than ever.
Females: Lumping several together, I’ll say 1) empathy/compassion/sensitivity/care; 2) Providers (thinking of Provers 31 here).
Males: 1) strength of resolve/determination to complete tasks; 2) As stated by others, maleness in general.