09/30/2020 – Today’s Questions of the Day
Me… a solid 7.5
DW… a solid 5 (it dropped a few points post-menopause)
Today my wish is to improve the quality and variety, not necessarily the frequency.
As to changes over time… our emotional estrangement 20-25 years ago worked against (cancelled out) our greater biological vigor when I would say I was a frustrated 9 and DW was a frustrated 7… it was sadly a lost opportunity for a more sizzling MB.
Retirement has been good and I think we are gaining some ground.
Me 7.5 – I’ve dropped a little with age. Every other day sounds perfect.
Wife 1.5 – She’s responsive only, super busy, but generally willing every three or four days. Left up to her we’d probably have sex about once every 10 days, and the sex would be maintenance/need to connect type sex, not because she was hot for it.
WIFE: I’d probably say a 3.5 with her supplements. Without? Maybe a 1? She does have a responsive desire.
ME: I’d say 7+
I’d say mine has slowed some with age, the daily drive jus isn’t as strong as it was. DW’s has definitely changed over the last 3+ yrs with early onset menopause but she is still choosing to be as generous as ever to which I am completely grateful.
Me: I think I’m pretty average for a mid-30’s male, so I’ll go with a 6.
DW: Probably a bit lower than the average female (though close to average for moms with several young kids), so I’ll go with 4.
My physical drive has slowly decreased with age (probably used to be 7.5), though the desire has gone back up lately due to increased interest from her. I think her drive was higher early in our marriage, definitely sank down pretty low for half a decade, getting into the 1-2 range, and is slowly on the upswing. Yay! Also, for her the time in her cycle is really important. For most of her Follicular Phase she is probably a 6. Luteal Phase is definitely was lower, at 2-3.
NOTE: I’m the 15th answer on this thread so far. For answers about the present/now, 13/15 have the TMB-participating spouse as the higher drive, 1/15 has equal drives, and the other 1/15 has lower drives. Not a coincidence, and one of the trends I was hoping to see.
@Scott, thanks for the ‘geek’ humor! As I thought about your Q and began to think about how to convey it, my matrix was a simple 2×2 – her x me across young x old. Then I saw a couple of posts and 🧐 of a few more dimensions . . . over 5 decades, spirit willing v. flesh weak, etc.! 😃😃
Decided to go with simple! Then it can be nuanced, if desired or needed.
Mrs. Youngbear . . . 7
Youngbear . . . 9
Mrs. Oldbear . . . 3
Oldbear . . . 5
That said, we have always been generous to each other.