11/23/2020 – Today’s Question of the Day
In the Nov. 18 QOTD, SLS asked about conception sex. Lets stick with that topic today.
Does the wife in your marriage find TTC (trying-to-conceive) sex hotter than “normal” sex? Does she find the act of insemination (either TTC or not) really exciting/erotic? What about the husband–how does he feel?
If you haven’t ever TTC, answer this theoretically. Even people that don’t want kids sometimes have a “breeding fetish” or “accidental pregnancy fetish”.
Oh boy, for us, this was definitely the case!
DW never once said to me “let’s try for a baby”. The official line was indecisive, “maybe, I’m not sure, not now, let’s try not to get pregnant”. Under the rational reasoning, however, I think there was always a latent desire to get pregnant accidentally.
As DW was never keen on the idea of hormonal BC, so we just used natural methods and we accepted that there was always a bit of risk in our lovemaking. After a while I picked up DW’s heightened excitement whenever we were doing risky things. I am happy to accept that this was a turn-on for me too. For example we would be getting near the point of no return and DW would whisper things like “I so want you to stay in…”, or “I wish you could spurt it in me”. Or sometimes we did things that carried a slight risk of pregnancy, like ejaculating on her vulva when she knew she was fertile. So yes, absolutely, there was a desire for accidental, unplanned pregnancy.
I am not sure whether this qualifies as fetishism, as what could be more normal than for a woman to get pregnant – if this was not the case, mankind would have dies out long ago. But yes, there was certainly an element of the excitement in the notion of “we got carried away”, “we couldn’t help it”, “we got so passionate, we got a baby on the way”.
In the end, yes, DW got pregnant after we played the game riskier and riskier way and she was very happy when it happened. So I can definitely confirm that “accidental pregnancy fetishism” does exist, it gave our sex life an extra dimension and yes, our children were conceived as a result. As a man I was also happy to play along.
If my first marriage, that was true…and I definitely felt “used” due to her desire to conceive vs. any other time.
In my current marriage, my wife is excited for the freedom of “NOT TCC” sex due to my vasectomy. She loves the potential spontaneity to not have to be concerned about BC for either of us because she didn’t do well on the pill either.
It’s been over a decade since our last kid was conceived, but I distinctly remember there being an extra layer of excitement about making love during those seasons. Both our DDs were planned, and the timing was important to us so I would be off from school when they were born.
In addition to the extra excitement, TTC also boosted our frequency for a bit. We had a fairly good idea of DW’s fertile window, but we had set almost daily for the week before and the week after her estimated ovulation date. For someone who always felt shorted in the frequency department, this was a nice boost too.
It’s been two decades since this “event” last took place. All I remember is my wife always wanted a large family and when she was on a mission to conceive, nothing was going to stop her! It was purpose sex to her. I was confused with the urgency and frequency but for the most part didn’t mind the “change up.” I do understand her side of the equation, however.
We only really “tried” to conceive for our first, but I remember the excitement as well as the frequency being pretty elevated at the time. Somewhere, one of us heard that doggy was good for conception, so we tried that position for the first time as well. The sex during that 6 month period was probably the hottest we had up to that point, and for quite a few years afterward, but her drive a few years later blew the doors off that!