2/18/2020 – Today’s Question of the Day

    For today:

    You come up with the question of the day! 🙂

    Guidelines:

    1) Only one question per member.

    2) If you answer the member’s question, answer their question as a comment and not a new post to prevent overcrowding the thread.

    3) Have fun! 😀

    GO!

    Blanket on a secluded beach! Asked on February 18, 2020 in Question of the Day.

    Want to express my thanks for this QOTD–it’s a lot of fun! It certainly challenged me to think, making me realize how tough coming up with a new question each weekday must be. Thanks for your service to this community–you definitely deserve the upvote!

    -Scott

    on February 18, 2020.

    Thanks, Brother!  I’m glad I can be a blessing! 😀

    on February 18, 2020.

    Absolutely. Elevation is the man! I always look forward to the QOTD.

    on February 19, 2020.
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    4 Answer(s)

      What was a huge ‘aha’ moment in your marriage, that has had great, lasting results?

      Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on February 18, 2020.

      The conviction of my sin with sexual refusal/gatekeeping. I remember wondering and doubting how “lasting” it may be, but coming upon 7 years in, I think I have made it a new lifestyle/habit.

      on February 18, 2020.

      The biggest for me was the Boundaries book from Dr. Henry Cloud.  Once I realized that we all have our property lines to take care of, I have learned (and still learning) that this is okay.

      on February 18, 2020.

      Reading about “responsive”desire vs “spontaneous” desire and realizing both DH and I were perfectly normal.

      on February 18, 2020.

      Agree with Brynna on the responsive desire thing. Also add in two things: (1) had to confess my porn problem to Zelda, and (2) the use of a vibrator during PIV (or any other type of sex!)

      -Scott

      on February 18, 2020.

      That it is okay for a vibrator to be a tool that my DH uses to pleasure me instead of worrying that we are depending on a toy and not having “real” sex because I need it to O.

      on February 18, 2020.

      About 7-8 years into our marriage, I realized that I had become very selfish…or that I had always been…and that my DW was sacrificing more for our marriage than I was. I’m not 100% where I should be, but I have tried hard since to give the same 100% of myself that she does of herself.

      on February 18, 2020.
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        What did you do on your first date with your spouse?

        Fell out of ... Answered on February 18, 2020.

        I actually cannot remember our first official date, because in college we went a did so much as friends or in groups. I can remember the first time he asked if I wanted to go do something together, just he and I. It was to go get a drink at Sonic and talk. The sentimental person I am 😉 saved that cup for a long while.

        on February 18, 2020.

        Our first date was  a blind date as we were introduced by my co-worker who was her landlord.  We went to a young adult group meeting at a local church.

        on February 18, 2020.

        I think we went to a restaurant in her country together. 🙂

        on February 18, 2020.

        We went out to dinner and then to a college bar to listen to a band. Sadly, both the restaurant and bar are long gone.

        on February 18, 2020.

        Applebees…Scott used a gift card. That Applebees closed down a few years ago.

        on February 18, 2020.

        High school Valentine’s dance. We double dated and went to a steakhouse before the dance and I had this weird idea that I should always order something cheaper than what he ordered. Problem I discovered over the course of our relationship:  his favorite foods are literally the cheapest things on the menu, always. I ordered spaghetti and then was petrified I would embarrass myself. (It was also my first date period.)

        on February 18, 2020.

        Got engaged

        on February 18, 2020.

        Went to a movie with another friend as well.  We didn’t know it would be our first date.   After that, we stopped asking other people to do things and just asked each other.

        on February 18, 2020.

        We went out to a local  bar, only problem was I had cut my foot earlier that day on a broken bottle.  While we were at the bar, I looked down at my boat shoes – and saw blood seeping out where the tops were sewn to soles.  Then the mrs ( then miss) saw it and wanted to immediately leave  the bar to help clean it up – that was august 1986 – and still happily married.

        on February 20, 2020.

        I too went to a movie with my future wife and her friend. After that, it was mostly just us going out as well as hanging with friends together.

        on February 22, 2020.
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          What quality or characteristic drew you to your spouse? Are you still drawn to it, if they still have it?

          Under the stars Answered on February 18, 2020.

          He was so sweet, LOL. Yup, he still has it and I am still drawn to it.

          on February 18, 2020.

          His love for Jesus and his extroverted, expressive way of showing it. He definitely still has it, the heart of it I am definitely drawn to … but I do sometimes wish we could walk in and out of any place without him verbally “blessing” everyone.

          on February 18, 2020.

          Her love for the Lord and love for family.  The love for the Lord needs to grow more and the love of family is still there.

          on February 18, 2020.

          Intelligence and sense of humor. He makes me think and laugh every day.

          on February 18, 2020.

          How Zelda was so different from other women in that she was content to not go out and party and/or debase herself to get people to like her. Oh, and she’s really intelligent. And lets not forget the nice chest and booty (I’m not above stating that.)

          Still got it? Absolutely. If anything, she’s more of a homebody more now than back then, which is great for me because I have this arousal I get from monogamy where the more she is “mine” the more turned on I get…and she’s all mine. Still very intelligent. And the chest and booty?…sampled some of both in the last 24 hr and it’s still awesome! 😀 🙂 😀

          -Scott

          (accidentally posted this as an answer, then had to move it to the comments, oops)

          on February 18, 2020.

          Her willingness to succeed and her longevity. She’s one of the strongest people I know enduring so much as a survivor of abuse of so many forms, but she never let it be a deterrent from accomplishing what she set her mind to. It’s still just as attractive to me now as it was then.

          on February 18, 2020.

          His humor, intelligence, and his love for and kindness to others. He’s even better now than then and I am absolutely still drawn to him for those reasons. (That, and he’s–still–hot.) OH! And he smelled sooooo good! That’s something I’ve had to ask him to cut back on over the years, though because of my allergies and migraines, but when I can tolerate cologne, he still smells divine.

          on February 18, 2020.

          His intelligence, chattiness, and humor.  Plus he would ask for a ride home and we would usually stop for icecream.  How can you not like someone like that?

          on February 18, 2020.

          Well, If I am totally honest, I have to say that the first thing that attracted me to my wife was a yellow tube top and a pair of white gym shorts. I have a hard time remembering experiences sometimes, what I saw what I felt, etc. I’m not 100 percent sure that my memories of what she looked like at our wedding are totally accurate, or if they have been kept alive by the photographs, but I can still go back to that very first time I laid eyes on her and how smitten I was.

          on February 19, 2020.

          Easy laughter!

          And great boobs!

          And yes, I’m still in deep smit with both characteristics.

          on February 20, 2020.

          Two things. Her infectious laughter, and how her butt looked in jeans. I still am dazzled by both.

          on February 22, 2020.
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            When was the happiest you have ever seen your spouse?

            On the floor Answered on February 18, 2020.

            Tie between our wedding day and birth of first child.

            on February 18, 2020.

            In our “honeymoon period” 18.5 years into our marriage.

            on February 18, 2020.

            I was going to say what Lucky did. After saying our vows, and the moment our babies were born, the moment the doctor held them up.

            on February 18, 2020.

            When we said our vows and the birth of our DD.

            on February 18, 2020.

            Going to have to agree with many of the answers so far and say it was after the birth of each of our kids. Will ask Zelda tonight if she agrees!

            -Scott

            on February 18, 2020.

            Honestly, unless something specific makes him UN-happy or really tired, he’s generally always happy, but yes, he was pretty cheery on our wedding day and when our daughter (and the son we lost) were born.

            on February 18, 2020.

            Our wedding.  DH actually cried tears of joy and I had to pass over my grandmothers stitched hanky from my flowers.  The ultrasound pictures of our 3 kids he displayed in his office until he no longer had an office.

            on February 18, 2020.
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