2/24/2020 – Today’s Question of the Day
I don’t think we have ever woke each other up for sex, although we have had it in the middle of the night, when we were both awake or semi awake. I doubt it would go over too well for either of us, to be woken up from a sound sleep.
I’m a bit surprised at the range of answers to this QOTD.
For us, this is not something I’ve initiated much in the post-having-kids era (the last decade), though we did partake more in the early days. However, I did engage in it once last summer shortly before my vasectomy. And more recently, just last month, I had several days in a row where I needed to work past midnight but still be in top form the next day. Zelda made it clear that she was available to help me out in the middle of the night even though she was on her period.
Well, on the last night I had to stay up really late working, I didn’t get to bed until 1:15 or so. After laying in bed for 30 min unable to wind down, I started thinking about her offer and got aroused. After another 30 erect minutes, I gently started waking her. She was very slow to wake, but it was clear she would participate. I asked if she wanted the vibe to make it a dual session, and the answer was no (she was clearly out of it). But as we went along she got more and more awake and simultaneously more and more into it, making it a super-fun session. The next day she was all happy about it and talked about how enjoyable it was, so I asked why she said no to the vibe…she didn’t remember me asking but thought it’d have been great to incorporate! Lesson learned for next time!
Man, might have to try this more often…thanks Elevation!
Yes! Although not that often, as I want to be sure she gets the sleep she needs.
But on a lazy Saturday or Sunday, when she has already slept beyond her usual weekday time, I grope her and give her a morning massage and move on from there 😀 Having more of a responsive drive, DW engages quickly and we end up cuddling in the afterglow!
I answered the question as it was asked, but from the other side, I have been in the place when I and our marriage were in a good place that I was able to offer him the availability of waking me from sleep, even though it took a lot of mental work to keep in a positive place. But now, we actually have a boundary where he can’t wake me. As one who fits the signs of insomnia, and I am coming out of burnout, I need any sleep I can get. I don’t have the reserves to give out of that I once had.
Because my husband does fall asleep much quicker than I and actually stays asleep, I have much more of an opportunity to decide I want sex or to surprise him by waking him up in the night.
Yes, but it is a balance. Can I delay until morning? How much sleep will I lose if I don’t wake her up? Will she be able to get back to sleep if I do wake her up? What time is it again? It is something that is better off not becoming a habit if it can be planned around – uninterrupted sleep is important. Lately my lovely wife is not getting enough sleep because there is just too much last minute stuff that just has to be done before the next day. I’ve tried to make changes to help her get to bed earlier for more sleep, but frustratingly something always gets in the way. So lately as she already isn’t getting enough sleep, I’m not waking her up.
Yes, I gently woke DW up a few times back when we were having sex less than once a week. Usually went pretty well because in my opinion we needed it. Now that we make sure it happens more often it hasn’t been needed in awhile. I would dearly love for my wife to need to wake me up. That would make me feel fantastic! However, she’s a LD and responsive only lady. 🙁
There have been numerous occassions when I have attempted to initiate sex with my wife while we were asleep or semi-awake. It doesn’t really work for us. DW doesnt like getting woken up and her OCD is an issue.
DW’s response varies from gently telling me to go back to sleep (since I am basically “sex walking” when I do this) to pushing me off when she is really not in the mood.
DW has awakened me on several occasions. She is more of a night owl and more in the mood at night. Once the grogginess wears off, I REALLY enjoy it!
I am a morning person and DEFINITELY more in the mood first thing. However, I am afraid that if I woke her up in the morning, it would not end well!
BUT–maybe I will try it sometime if I can’t fall asleep in the middle of the night…