2/26/2020 – Today’s Question of the Day
I know it isn’t really possible, but the question is about wishes, right?
I wish she would be able to understand more fully the significance of what sex means to a man and explain to me more concretely what sex means to a woman.
But even if that never happens, we have lots of enjoyment together! 😀
I wish he could better accept my changing needs. That sometimes I need him to be completely focused and intense and very Alpha, where other times I really do enjoy our playful, almost childish frolicking, and all the other ways we interact as well. I don’t really want to blend the different styles; it spoils the Alpha just a little when he gets silly for a moment, so I don’t want him to be silly that time, but that doesn’t mean I never want to be silly. On the other hand, just because we are generally fun, relaxed people doesn’t mean I don’t sometimes want the dark and brooding, searing passion experience either. Sometimes it seems like he is trying so hard to figure me out that he forgets I’m changeable. AND that when he gets it “wrong”, it’s not the end of the world. I always enjoy loving with him. I just might want to try again really soon. 😉
“AND that when he gets it “wrong”, it’s not the end of the world. I always enjoy loving with him. I just might want to try again really soon. 😉”
@Duchess that’s a great point! One of the benefits I’ve discovered of my wife’s sexual renaissance is that when we have an encounter that’s meh or something doesn’t work right, I know another opportunity is right around the corner. So different than when we were doing it every 1-2 weeks. I wanted to make every time amazing because it would be awhile before the next one. Frequent sex can take out some of the performance anxiety in that way.
I’m not usually very spontaneous when it comes to sex (I’m the responsive type) and he sometimes views it as a lack of confidence or creativity in the bedroom and offers some “constructive criticism” that actually does zap me of my confidence. I guess I wish he could stop trying to fix me and try to understand me instead. That goes both ways though, I can do better at trying to understand him as well.
Two things for me: First, oral sex. She enjoys receiving it and I often give it to her but very rarely does she return the favor. Second, her confidence. We have been married for over two decades and she still gets embarrassed if I want to change things up with a game, item in the bedroom, etc. Not like we haven’t seen each other naked before! She has nothing to be embarrassed about!
The act of love it truly is, even when it may come across as having no desire to be there or to have it. One may never know, unless they face it themselves, the battle against the flesh that is fought, the sacrifice and dying to one’s self it takes. It is a fight worth fighting for two loves, Christ and my husband. But to be scorned because it doesn’t “feel” like love, because one just walked off of the battlefield (or off the cross) rather than out of a bed of roses, can make one question if the fight is truly worth it.
That my desire for her doesn’t die during the 27 or so days we’re apart every month right now. It would really be a blessing to me for her to put some thought toward maintaining some sort of intimate relationship while we are apart. We’ve done this, to differing extents, for years. She always brushes it off saying she just doesn’t really think about sex much when I’m gone. We have a robust and fantastic sex life while we’re together, even when we were able to be together every night for a couple years. The plane takes off, though, and it just isn’t a priority. We’ve talked about this, and she has agreed to try, but then we slip right back into the same ol’ same.
I wish my wife could understand how attracted I am to her and why that makes me want to kiss her, hug her, and ML with her so often. She is a beautiful woman, inside and out, and yet she struggles with body image issues and she worries that when it takes some time to get to her orgasm that I’m bored or impatient. Nothing could be further from the truth! I love the way her body looks and I love getting to bring her pleasure, even when it slowly builds over 20 or 30 minutes. I think if she saw herself the way I see her, she’d have greater sexual confidence and she’d also probably O faster because she’d be focused on enjoying things without worrying about how long it is taking.
I’ve shared these things with her and she has typically dismissed my statements about her beauty with, “you’re my husband, you’re just saying that because you have to.” She has acknowledged what I’ve told her about timing, although she hadn’t really changed her mindset as a result. I’ll keep providing these positive messages and praying for her to cling to truth and reject the lies the Enemy whispers in her ear.