5/22/20 – Question of the Day
Proverbs 17:22 NLT 22 A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.
Laughing is an intimate activity, it’s something we do with friends. Others say that those two play together, stay together.
-How much do you and your spouse laugh together?
-How much do you play together? (Activities, hobbies, games, etc, NOT referring to sex)
-What are some of you favorite shared activities together?
We love to laugh together. I try to get DW to laugh every day. Thankfully, after these 30+ years she still appreciates my humor! Usually it is just a little smirk or chuckle. But other times she really lets loose with howls and tears! My humor is dry, impromptu, unexpected, subtle, includes wordplay and puns, sometimes sarcastic, self effacing, etc. Frequently people miss my jokes. But DW gets most of them!
We do play together too. We have a few card games we like. Also, we enjoy yardwork. Shopping together to buy stuff for her is great! Both of us like sharing things we find on Pinterest. We have our fav shows we watch together and we like to view a movie each week.
We also like to go for drives, visit art museums, take walks together, look at show homes, etc.
I was very attracted to my DH for his witty repartee. I actually read a humorous piece he had written before I even met him. We tend to have fun no matter what we do, but our favorite is to go wine or beer tasting. On our trip in February, we did a food tour for the first time. We also like to visit museums and gardens and find new places to hike. We’re competitive Scrabble players and enjoy backgammon, but most other games we like need more people to play.
We love to laugh, to the point that occasionally I wonder whether we are missing out because we don’t “do serious” more. DH has a wonderful sense of humor and is so considerate about sharing anything with me that he knows I will find funny. I guess I do the same. We enjoy comedy entertainment over drama, and the drama we do enjoy usually has a lot of comic elements in it. Lately we’ve been watching the Carol Burnett Show on Amazon Prime. Good stuff!
Everything we do together is fun, just because we are together. The biggest source of stress in our relationship right now is that he is so incredibly busy that we don’t have a lot time to just plug along at our household projects together. It seems like whenever he has a few hours at home he is so driven to accomplish three times what is possible that there’s no time for the camaraderie we normally enjoy. (We once painted a shelf together on a hot day outside, and when we were finished, were tired, so sat talking and resting and after a bit realized we were quite literally WATCHING PAINT DRY together! That’s a good memory.)
We don’t really have anything in the elementary school verb category [run, walk, hike, boat, etc.]. We both love stories, so no matter whether it’s a book or a movie or something else entirely we love to discuss the plot and characters. We both love to write and share ideas and create new ones together. Pre-Covid, we had planned to attend a Comic Book Convention together as a family, which we have done before and enjoyed. We like digging into history together. We do like eating out, but are trying (even Pre-Covid) to do it less for health and wealth. I’m crafty and he seems to enjoy getting involved in a supporting way with that. I’ve been encouraging him to follow through on his urge to take up sword making, and would certainly be involved somehow.
We didn’t start out with a bunch of common interests (except the Drama Club) but came to love one another’s interests just because it involved the other person.
1) When I wasn’t feeling dead inside, we actually laugh(ed) quite a bit. Every single one of our kids are funny in their unique ways. The wit that comes out of them often has us laughing. Now we have the cuteness of a grandkid to laugh at. We have learned to laugh at ourselves and not to take things too seriously.
2) How much we “play” together depends on the season, but we don’t do a whole lot of “playing” because our interests are so different… our family time is often our “play time”.
3) We do a lot of ministering to others together. We both like food, so we eat together and make lots of dates around that. He’s a nature/outdoors guy… our compromise is I ride along, or sit outside in the vicinity of what he is working on. If he wants to hike or play disc golf with the kids, I ride along and then I sit and read or work on whatever I brought along. (The last time I was convinced to take a short hike to a summit “because of the beauty”, I got such bad altitude sickness, I have no desire to experience that again.) He (but again I go along for the ride) likes 4x4ing. One thing we have started doing together is watching an episode of a show that makes us laugh, if we have the time. Currently, he is enjoying The Office for his first time. He was laughing so hard last night he was getting belly cramps. 😀
I try to get DH to laugh, but he’s fairly serious. He doesn’t find humor like I do, or in the places I find it.
I asked him today what we did together and he said ‘nothing’. Maybe its because we have our own business and he is usually home, so we are really living our lives together. We shop together, I help him in the business a fair bit, we do some yard work together. We don’t do hobbies together. He says he doesn’t have a hobby. Lol he isn’t interested in mine, which I can’t say I blame him.
1) We laugh a fair amount and I like to gauge how we’re doing based on our laughter and if I can make her laugh.
2) DW & I are still trying to figure that out. We have a lot of shared values but due to allergies and upbringing, we are different in activity enjoyment. We enjoy traveling and eating out but it’s hard to do that daily.
3) We like to play games and take walks, travel, games, eating out. And of course, just plain eating, which is clear as we’ve both gained the dreaded covid “19”. 😀
We laugh quite often. It can be things that strike us funny in a post, a sign, something said, a joke I found (I love to tell jokes, at least she thinks I’m funny).
My DW loves to garden so I will help her with tilliing and weeding. She is doing some landscaping this Memorial weekend, so there will be a lot of work and shared time together. Sometimes we will cook a meal together. It’s all good stuff.
How much do you and your spouse laugh together?
We laugh together a LOT. It can be about the kids, dumb things we’ve seen people do, dad jokes, clean jokes, sexual innuendos, etc. We often laugh a lot in bed just talking right before going to sleep. We’ll even get some laughs in at the start of making love before her pleasure gets really taking off (when she then focuses). And laughs after ML are certainly common. I’d go as far as saying that humor/laughing is one of the pillars of our relationship.
How much do you play together? (Activities, hobbies, games, etc, NOT referring to sex)?
Not as much as we should. We often are pretty mentally beat by the time our kids are in bed and chores are done, so often time we just read in the same room as each other. Oddly, this actually works to help satisfy her Quality-Time need (Quality Time is her number one love language). We do run together, or rather at the same time, and sometimes we’ve do either conventional games (Scrabble, Boggle, Quiddler, etc) or video games together. I’ve even been known to prop the Nintendo Switch in a spot she can see while she read and proceed to play Mario so she can know what’s going on.
What are some of you favorite shared activities together?
The aforementioned running is one. Going on walks or bike rides too. Some of the other stuff I mentioned above. But honestly, at this point in our life together, perhaps doing chores together is the #1 thing. When we do them together, it really fills her Quality Time love tank.
Humor is a huge part of our marriage. I see it as primarily non-sexual and yet I feel like we’d struggle a lot more romantically if we didn’t enjoy laughing together. We watch a lot of TV shows and movies together; that’s a huge part of our laughing together. We also will share funny things we find on the internet with each other. And we are entertained by our wonderfully sweet and funny 7 yr old daughter who herself loves to laugh and to entertain.
I do wish we did more “playing” together though. I love all of our TV/movie time, but sometimes all that makes life feel too much like a spectator sport. It can be hard to get out and do activities together though when you have young kids (even when there’s no lockdown.)