7/7/2020 – Today’s Question Of The Day
I went on a “date” to a high school football game when I was about 15.
I didn’t have another date until I was 18. Had about 3.
No more dates until I was 21. Three weeks.
Two more girls the next year for about three weeks.
Then I met my wife when I was 23, married at 25, and we’ve now been dating for 17 years. I think it’s pretty serious.
Kinda weird timeline. So put a pushpin wherever you think I started “dating”.
I didn’t date in HS, just had a couple crushes at school and church, I didn’t start dating till college so no rules by them for me.
@SC – my sister was a different story. Cheerleader, outgoing, social, etc. she was more of a handful for them compared to me. Sis had to be 16 before dating and then anyone who wanted to date my sister had to ask my dad, who was a pastor and district superintendent by that time, and then they had to go out to lunch with him. When she turned 16, her girlfriends made flyers to put around the school, including the boys’ restrooms, that said it’s her sweet 16 and she can date now but you have to ask her dad first and so-and-so (the guy she liked) is first in line.
I didn’t date in HS. Was busy with studies, sports, part-time job, church activities, etc. Even at college I only dated a few times a year. Mostly did things with young adults at church. Actually that way of doing things kept me from making a bunch of mistakes or breaking my heart or that of others.
My parents didn’t have a lot of rules regarding dating – didn’t really need them cause I didn’t date! My Dad did tell me to always respect the lady and tell her how good she looked!
I was not allowed to date until I was 16, but it never came up because there was never anyone wanting to date me until right before my 16th birthday. Then DH came along and asked me to a big dance at school that was 4 days after my birthday and we’ve been dating ever since. I started out with a pretty early curfew; I can’t remember whether it was 9:30 or 10. Then they would extend it in special circumstances until finally making it 11. I’m not 100% positive, but I think it might have been 11 until we married and I left home. We dated for 5 years before marriage and many years after (I love PPK’s line about that!) but since the DD became a teen, our dating life has taken a nosedive. It’s a season. She’ll soon not care about hanging out with us and we’ll console each other with dates and sex.
Another abnormal timeline here. I went on a few dates with one girl when I was late 16/early 17. Later went to a Sadie Hawkins dance with a girl when I was mid-17, though I wouldn’t call that a date from my perspective (it probably was from hers!)
I didn’t go on another date until Zelda and I were already a boyfriend/girlfriend “item” as a mid/late-22 man. She was 23. The time between those few high school dates and my first date with Zelda was over 5 years–longer than the time from my first date with Zelda and when we had our first child!
Zelda went on a couple dates late in college–I think she was 21/22, though I’ll have to ask.
ETA: No strict rules from my parents. I was a “good boy”, so about all it entailed was a loosely agreed upon time I must be back home.
I was 17 for my first date.
Since there were only girls to think about my parents had the rule they had to meet the guy 3 times before we could go on a date. Not just a “Hi” meeting, but come over and talk and eat meeting. It was a great way to personally filter out the guys. The majority who liked me weren’t worth the awkwardness to bring them home. 😆
My mum and I really rarely discussed my dating life not for the lack of care from her, I was just the “home girl” I never fancied go out out and didn’t really have any interest in dating.
However, when I was in 1year HS I met a guy through a mutual friend and we were in a relationship for 5years, 1st yr HS – 1st year college I think. It was a long distance relationship. He was already in college when I was in HS and it was fairly okay. I think it lasted that long because it was long distance, we only met a few times a year and it was rarely ever a date.
I was already tired of the relationship and his mom aided the break up; it’s a long story but I’d summarize. After HS I went a college a few states away from him(but short distance) one time he was very sick and needed surgery, his friend called to inform me they found him collapse on his bathroom floor, I had exams the following week but I still left my college early the following morning to stay with him. I was there for about 4 days with his mum. I noticed she didn’t really like me but I was just not really concerned about her. Fast forward to the following week when I had exams I had to leave but he was already better.
Few weeks later his mum called me and said I should break up with her son that I wasn’t good enough for him. I called my ex and told him but he didn’t see anything wrong with his mum’s call. She called me about 3 diff times to break up. I broke up with him and never looked back Good Riddance! Weeks later the son starts calling my friend to help him talk to me to take him back, it’s been over 4 years now and he still constantly begs to take him back.
That’s all there is to my dating life
I didn’t date in HS and by the time I did date in college I didn’t really have any idea how to look for qualities of excellence in a young man. For a variety of reasons, my parent’s didn’t really give me any guidance in this area as I matured. It’s for this reason, I try to stay involved in our 17 year old’s decisions as it relates to dating and decisions that may impact her life long term. We don’t really have tons of dating “rules” but we do try to stay involved, guide her and ask lots of questions. For things like a curfew, she doesn’t have a set curfew but I do ask her what she thinks is a reasonable time to be home, prior to the date, based on what they are doing. Then, I either veto her version of a “reasonable time” or agree to it. She knows that, under no circumstance, should she be out with a young man with “time to kill” so, together, we try to come up with a curfew for the evening to avoid this. We also encourage dating with others in groups to help avoid being alone.