9/25/20 – QOTD – part 2
What mistakes do women make in bed? Assumptions? Mixed signals?
For insight or deeper thought development, see SEXY MARRIAGE RADIO PODCAST (Episode 21). I was catching up on old podcasts over vacation last month while traveling. Because we are equal opportunity offenders, err…I mean, conversationalists, 😀 I’ve posted another question for men’s mistakes. 😀
MISTAKES WOMEN MAKE (this is NOT an exhaustive list, just ones that were talked about in the SMR referenced podcast)
-Unresponsive in bed
-Maybe not being direct/not sending a clear signal/sending mixed/confusing signals
-mercy sex (it’s degrading)
-Trading hot momma (the risky…sex kitten, etc) for mommy
-fearing her own sexual/erotic nature
-thinking that sex is dirty, wrong, etc
-failure to initiate, and certainly, in a way your husband would like
-slow down & be engaged in the process
1) This is the same as I shared for the men…. Assumption & mistake, thinking her husband’s sexuality and response is, or should be, like hers.
2) Assumption, if he is having erection issues, there’s something wrong with her, e.g. he’s not attracted to her, etc.
3) Assumption & mistake, he is imagining or wanting someone or something he saw in porn.
4) Mixed signal, says she wants to be led, but resists when he tries.
5) Assumption & mistake, think her sexuality and response should be like a man’s, and what she sees in the media.
That’s a start.
I find the wording of your question difficult because I only know myself, my own relationship, not womankind. My experience is often opposite the stereotypes.
One mistake I’ve made is to assume (since DH’s education and career is/are in the sciences) that he is ok with discussing things. He is literally turned off by ‘clinical’ conversations about anatomy and sex and I have to be careful to prioritize only the important topics and discuss them away from LM.
The word “mistake” means a miss or an assumption about how things work, or that you forgot a detail about what your spouse likes in bed. Mixed signals is good; my wife always assumed that if she touched my parts, I would always want more. She also assumes that our once per week sex is more than a HJ. Her asking me what I want in bed is also a mistake because her willingness to do sexual things is limited to one act.
The biggest mistake or attitude is assuming that I the husband can get along fine without any sexuality or sexual touch for one or two weeks. My emotions during sex-starvation are many; self-esteem assassination, despair, unloved feeling, unneeded feeling, boredom with the marriage relationship, a feeling of “who cares” for household errands, depression, anger and lack of energy to do anything.
However in her response when I complain about sex infrequency, she falsely claims I have been mean angry or hurtful to her and says I treat the kids too strictly. This is a big mistake. Mostly I take it personally in such a way that her absurd answer to a lack of sexual activity causes me to clam up and talk a lot less to her.