There has been some discussion lately surrounding “trolls” and how to identify and deal with them on the TMB boards.
As you know, TMB exists to be a safe space for married Christians to talk about sexuality and intimacy, and for over 20 years we have been just that, and God willing, will continue to be for another 20+ years at least!
Because of the nature of what we discuss, and the Internet being what it is, we attract a lot of attention for what we do. Most of the attention is good, and since changing the format of the boards back in April of 2019, we have seen an influx of new membership. In fact, one of the reasons for changing the format was to help attract a younger crowd, who hopefully would be able to learn from the collective wisdom of us oldtimers! And in many cases, that has indeed happened and continues to happen–which is truly wonderful!
Of course, there are also those who come here for more shady reasons. We have had a spate of those wanting to sell some bogus products, as well as those who come just for titillation or to try and start an argument. Unfortunately, it is sometimes hard to distinguish those who are legitimate users from those who are not. The voting system which we now have helps quite a bit, but it is far from perfect. Someone may ask a legitimate question, but because it is phrased differently or has some “edgy” terminology or slang words (which we are allowing more of now than we did under the previous system), they may get unfairly tagged as being a troll.
Rather than jump to conclusions or call someone out on the open boards, I would request that you do two things: first, be gracious in your posting. You simply do not know who is on the other end of the keyboard, and you may inadvertently turn someone away who needs some real help in their marriage. Many people who come here are broken to one degree or another, and it is not Christlike to add to that pain or brokenness. We are first and foremost to seek to be healers, ESPECIALLY in this day and age! As I remind the people I serve frequently: When the world is at its worst, Christians should be at their best!
If you do suspect a troll, however, PLEASE send me a private message (PM). In the “old days” there was a large group of moderators and an active Oversight Group for the boards. But, because of the self-regulation of the new system, and how unwieldy the old setup got, we (meaning Paul and Lori, who own TMB, and the Board of Directors) have decided to just have myself as the overseer of the boards for now. I will deal with issues in a timely manner, although what I determine needs to happen may not be exactly what you want to happen (like leaving a post up that you think needs to come down, etc.). With the experience I have, and with the administrative tools at my disposal, I can usually find a good resolution to the problem.
As some have observed, the Report Post feature does send an email to the OP that their post has been reported, so it is usually better just to send a PM to me. That way, everything stays private, and things can be dealt with better without unnecessary offense being taken.
Thank you for being a part of TMB, and for helping this ministry to grow and thrive! May the Lord bless and keep you in these days of chaos, and may your marriage and your marriage bed be blessed!
Dale – TMB Board Czar