What does romance mean to you? Today in our couples devotional it talked about romance in terms of husband doing tasks, household chores or babysitting to free up his wife. Interestingly, I had just been thinking about how to be more romantic. I decided to write a poem for her and gave it to her after finishing the devotional. I think more in terms of candlelight dinners, or walks on the beach hand in hand as the sun sets. DW seemed to resonate with the description in the devotional. Do you make a point of keeping romance alive in your marriage? What things do you do with your spouse?
Our romantic gestures are mostly simple and have to do with everyday life.
When I am mowing for instance, I will pull up to where DH is working and chat a bit.
This summer, a few times, he went thro the raspberry patch and brought a few raspberries out to me, where I was working.
If he needs a ride, when transferring equipment, I offer to do it, instead of getting one of the teens with a license to do it.
When DH goes out to work, I sometimes follow him to garage and we chat a bit.
If he is out driving equipment or something, I will bring him supper and ride with him while he eats.
We bath/shower together, nearly every night.
We are not big coffee drinkers, but occasionally one of us will tell the other- if you make some coffee, I’ll drink it with you.
DH buys flowers once in awhile. One time he very happily gave me a tiny Christmas cactus, because he knew I loved them.
We recently started sitting side by side at the table, after years of having a child between us, or DH sitting at the end.
We hold hands to pray, and when we sit together, we are usually touching just a bit, somehow.
There are probably lots more that I am not thinking of right now.
(Brynna, you made a great list!)
Often for me it is the simple things done with loving intent. Other times, it is the extra things to show I have been thinking of her. Often it involves spending money or putting in extra effort to make something for her. Many times it is something that is connected to her love languages. Or, it has to do with touching, holding, and looking into each others eyes, etc. that we express our romantic feelings. Of course, notes and sweet words are frequent. And I love going on dates to celebrate our life together!
Great question. I am not much of a romantic and honestly you bringing it up makes me realize that I don’t do much in the romance department for DH. He is, on the other hand. He still opens my car door, he buys flowers not only on special occasions, but all the time, he writes me notes and leaves them in my purse. He also is very helpful around the house. I suppose I always chalked this up to his (giving) love language of acts of service vs actually being romantic. We do go out on dates on occasion, but they are never the candlelight type, we more silly and joking and like a fun atmosphere.
I honestly can’t think of what I could do that he would consider a romantic gesture. I guess I figure a “romantic gesture” for a man would involve lingerie, sexy talk, sending pictures… basically anything that would indicate ML was in the near future. I suppose I need to talk with DH to find out what he considers romantic that I could start doing.
We don’t do a lot, but I have found songs that describes how I feel about him, or that sends a message I want him to know, and I send them to him. He will still listen to them as personal messages from me.
My husband got premade notes, I believe from Family Life, and would leave them around, with personal messages as well, for me to see and find.
I am determined not to be outdone by the Hallmark Channel. And, Solomon is my inspiration for being romantic. I like to write and so I work on detailing our love in written form. And I do not spare the physical details.
I want to thank you for reminding me of my need to meet her needs. Sometimes I just get so busy.
I think of romance as attraction/desire for a one & only, and that’s what sets marriage apart from any other relationship.
Those are some nice ideas about the husband helping the wife with chores, but I’m more into physical affection like kissing, putting my arm around his shoulder, and sitting close.
Sometimes my husband comes up with romantic lines or funny pickup lines–and he picks me up literally too, lol.
Romance is definitely all about ‘knowing your customer.’ I’d rather a romantic gesture be something special, like flowers or a homemade card. A poem would be amazing to me and yes to romantic experiences like sunsets on the beach. One autumn, my DH gave me a heart shaped leaf he found in the yard. I still have it!
Others seem to like acts of service. In my mind, I can do those things myself, so it’s not special to me. OTOH, my DH really appreciates me doing things for him, like making special dinners or desserts. I will sometimes look at his To Do list and get something done for him, as he doesn’t have much free time. But I think having sexy time is the most romantic thing for both of us.