All about Edging

    One of the responses to the ‘Edgy’ activity question suggested it had a double entendre meaning (thanks NewWife!); edging can spice up a marriage bed.

    Here’s your opportunity to share how edging plays a part in your marriage bed. Edging is the technique/practice of taking you to the edge of the PONR of an orgasm. For many of us, it can be very pleasurable and enhance the quality and length of an ultimate orgasm.

    For the ladies who are one-and-done and for guys edging can happen repeatedly, but if you go over the top you generally need a refractory period. For the ladies who are multi-orgasmic edging may be different.

    These questions are designed to prompt your thinking and responses. Pick and choose from them.

    1. Have you engaged in edging for you and/or your spouse?

    2.  Do you and/or your spouse enjoy edging or does it hamper your/their ability to O?

    3. Who controls your edging – you for yourself, your spouse for you, you for, you for your spouse, or your spouse for themselves?

    5. How long have you lasted during an edging session or how many edgings have you experienced before reaching the PONR?

    6. Share your/your spouse edging technique or what works for you/your spouse.

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    7 Answer(s)

      So no surprise, edging is a fairly regular activity for both of us.  Usually it’s my DH controlling me or me controlling my DH, but sometimes solo too.  Fortunately, we have both learned a lot about each other so knowing when the other is about to near the PONR is now obvious to each other though words can add to the excitement.

      We use toys, fingers (hands) and oral for edging.  Never PIV for whatever reasons.  For both of us but probably even more for me, it really increases the total pleasure of the experience and the intensity and duration of the orgasms when they finally come.  I would say that we may each go for 30 minutes or more of edging and usually approach the PONR five or six times.  Again, we know each other well enough that we can tell that it’s time to finally allow an orgasm.

      For us, edging isn’t about torture or pain or denial (we know that it will end in an awesome orgasm).  It’s all about the buildup, the anticipation, the arousal and enjoying the intense pleasure of the pre-orgasmic moments over and over.

      Fell out of ... Answered on September 24, 2019.
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        My husband was edging long before I realized there was a word for it. We used it for practical purposes, not for play.

        This was how he learned control and how to last longer. In our earlier years, when having sex, he would just stop, and we would both freeze until things ebbed, and he would start moving again. This could happen multiple times in a session. I had to freeze as well, my hands had to remain still on his body, no kissing, no moving at all, no vaginal muscle squeezing, because any of that could take him to the PONR.

        For myself, when I have edged, it’s not been with the intent to edge, I just have wanted to hold off and enjoy longer, since I am a one and done. In the last several years, it seems like if I don’t take it when I can, I might lose the ability completely.

        Under the stars Answered on September 24, 2019.

        Thanks, SC, for the reminder of how edging, similar to Kegel’s, provides a sexual health and function benefit.

        on September 24, 2019.
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          We have done edging for years – like SC, didn’t know it had a name back then. We find it enhances our enjoyment and the strength of our O.

          Controlling it, for us  at least, must be coordinated. Communication is vitally important.

          We sometimes edge for up to 1 hour.

          We do mostly  manual and oral as well as use some vibes.

          Under the stars Answered on September 24, 2019.
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            Mrs. Oldbear enjoys, to some extent, when I edge her. However, she has to be in the mood – anticipating and horny. If she is easily distracted, or not relaxed, edging her actually takes her off her game. We work together when she edges. Her three erogenous zones for edging are her nipples, clitoris, and rosebud (anal area). We alternately (sometimes she alone, sometimes me alone on her, and sometimes together) work on the three areas. She provides verbal and physical feedback to me that signals me how to stimulate her, how much to do so, and when to back off. When she’s had enough she aggressively takes over to reach her PONR.

            We haven’t  talked about her edging during solo time. However, knowing how skilled she is with self-stimulation her solo edging is probably similar to our edging her together.

            Mrs. Oldbear enjoys edging me, particularly when generously providing me a helping hand. She’ll use her hands to work me up, progressively intensifying the action. Her particular skill is external prostate massage through my perineum and/or pressing against my lower stomach above my pubic area. She senses my mounting response and backs off to give me recovery time and then as I guide her verbally she’ll ramp me back up. We’ll take turns with me doing the hand driving until we both ‘know’ its time.

            Edging is something I’ll do when soloing if I’m in the mood and have time. In this case, it’s all about timing and pressure.

            Generally, I can last (take!) between three to eight edgings before it’s enough.

            Edging for both of us enhances the magnitude and duration of our Os.

            On the floor Answered on September 24, 2019.
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              Like others, years ago we were attempting it before knowing it was called edging for the purpose of helping him last longer. The problem was, whenever we had to “freeze” for him to settle, it took so long for him to settle enough to be able to move again, that I lost all momentum, and then it only took a couple strokes to have him right back at almost PONR.  (This was PIV.)

              Even now that our LM has evolved and I better understand the idea of doing it for pleasure, I still have very frustrating connotations attached to the idea and no desire at all to do any of that again.

              Under the stars Answered on September 24, 2019.
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                I/we discovered edging by accident more than ten years ago.  It is interesting that about a month ago my DW asked me what was meant by having multiple O’s.  Her response was, “Oh, that’s what that is!”

                Edging for 20 minutes produces 6 or more O’s.  I enjoy it.  She has to do the work while l control the edging.  It does not hamper the eventual O.  The longest edging might have been 30 minutes before reaching the PONR?

                Lie down head to toe, head to toe to pleasure one another.  After bringing DW to an O its DH’s turn.  With coconut oil over hands and genitals the DW puts both hands on the penis and with her thumbs up, she messages up and down the under side of the glans, the frenulum.  Keep it going.  That is all there is.

                On the floor Answered on September 24, 2019.
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                  Doggone it. I wish I’d tried this when our sexual relationship was much healthier.

                  Queen bed Answered on September 28, 2019.
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