All things foreplay
How important do you find foreplay to be? Is your opinion consistent with your spouse? What does foreplay look like for you? What do you enjoy doing and how long does it last? How has foreplay changed for you through your marriage? Who leads the transition from foreplay into sex?
How important do you find foreplay to be? Very!! There was a time I could go 0-60 in 2.5 seconds, but I too have “matured” and alas, need a little warming up first.
Is your opinion consistent with your spouse? Usually. I’m never completely positive whether he is as fulfilled by it as I am, BUT I think I have a tiny bit different view of foreplay than many others here.
What does foreplay look like for you? Similar to what Tracker said, foreplay for me begins hours before we start to do anything sexual. Where others include OS and manual stimulation in foreplay, I tend to consider those as part of sex. I kind of feel like it is intent that makes anything we do ultimately a part of our lovemaking. Sometimes he gives me a tonsil tickler just for the sake of the kiss, not expecting to follow up with sex. (I LOVE those, by the way!!)
What do you enjoy doing and how long does it last? I love when he gently kisses my neck from behind or extends my legs and kisses my toes. (but here again, this usually doesn’t happen until we are standing beside the bed (or lying on it!)
How has foreplay changed for you through your marriage? We’ve lost the art, having gone from perpetual foreplay (kissing, light petting, “making out”) on dates to hopping straight in bed, then we learned it really is important to start ahead of time (or really, just never stop) and we are getting better.
Who leads the transition from foreplay into sex? Neither really, it just happens.
It is very important to me. DW values it highly too. I think her grasp of how important it is has increased because of my influence on her.
It often includes one of both of us giving a massage. Typically some undressing is involved. It always includes OS for both. Each time there is time given to visual enjoyment. DW always has several Os before moving on to PIV. We use toys as part of our foreplay as well. Length of time varies. But usually a minimum of 15 minutes.
Over time, we have learned our favorite things and our once in a while things.
Who leads the transition? It depends. But often it is DW. I like to take my cues from her so that she is getting greatest enjoyment and fullest arousal.
I am not sure what all led me to this point, but I don’t find foreplay all that important….I don’t know if it is consistent with my spouses opinion, he sure doesn’t really try to change it. Some of the things that I think may have led to it was my personality and the love style of being an emotional avoider (these develop from your childhood and how you learn to respond in relationships). I like to be efficient to a fault. I also know that once I have tried to adjust something or communicate that something isn’t working and needs to change, and it seems to fall on deaf ears and do no good, then I just adapt myself. Therefore I have learned to adapt to make things work without or with very little foreplay. That’s a more positive experience than to have “foreplay” that frustrates me or even makes me mad. If my mind is engaged, my body responds very quickly. When things are all good in the relationship, it seems like I am doing more foreplay for him…it seems backwards. I am almost always the one who initiates the transition.
I realized that I asked the question but didn’t offer any personal thoughts or details.
We both enjoy foreplay but I believe I enjoy it more as it seems she’s typically the one eager to be penetrated before I am ready to do so.
It’s not really surprising tho as she, once started, is very orgasm focused and drives toward it, sometimes aggressively. I call her my little rabbit.
As I’ve matured (sounds better than gotten older), I’ve found myself enjoying the journey more than the destination. Not that the destination isn’t great but it means that it’s done where she, being multi-orgasmic, can charge on to the next peak. Also, maybe it’s because the refractory period becomes more of a factor than before and it will be longer before my body is ready to go at it again.
The time available, time of day, etc impacts what we do but there’s typically breast and nipple play, OS and MS coupled with a lot of kissing. Occasionally a clitoral vibrator finds its way out of the drawer and into a very marvelous position for DW.
During those prolonged passionate lovemaking sessions that include massages, foreplay can last well over an hour but on average we’re at it 15 minutes or so before penetration.
Foreplay is very important to me and it’s very important to my DW.
Foreplay is something that starts out with a wink, or a game of footsie, etc. Sometimes she lures me to the bedroom or sometime I take her to the bedroom to have my way with her. Foreplay is a big part of our MB. We spend a lot of time pleasuring each other and receiving pleasure from each other. We sleep nude so we love to cuddle and play when we go to bed and when we wake up in the morning. Many times this foreplay lead to sex other times not. Either way it’s very fulfilling and satisfying to both of us.
These playtimes last for 1 – 2 hours. Daily. That’s what has changed as we have gotten older and now married nearly 38 years. When we were younger and raising our 6 kids the timeframe for our sex play was much shorter.
The transition period from foreplay to sex if 65% me and 35% my DW. BTW, I love it when she’s in charge. And, I will say, she knows what she’s doing!
For me foreplay is important, but it is rarely focused on me. I lead Wifey through the activity almost exclusively with the focus on getting her out of her head so she can enjoy sex. This usually involves touching and kissing. No OS for me, and rarely for her although I love to give it and would do it more if given the opportunity. I try to lead her to O before PIV because it helps make PIV more enjoyable for her, and I love to experience her letting go and enjoying the experience. Very hot!
Our foreplay is orchestrated to bring both of us to our Os by increasing our horniness on a steady incline. Depending on our respective state of readiness, what, how, and when we drive each other over the top is something we continue to perfect!
Echoing Tracker, ‘foreplay’ could be understood as an activity that includes the entirety of how a couple interacts throughout the day. A kind word, a compliment, help with a task, a frisky touch to some part of their body, holding hands etc. creates an attitude of love and expectant intimacy between spouses that at some point will lead to love making. This kind of ‘foreplay’ is very important to the health of a marriage, and I freely admit I need to ‘up my game’ with regard to this type of foreplay.
If foreplay is understood as the activities that happen just prior to making love, lately our foreplay has become ‘standardized’ to a large degree. My DW’s arousal type falls into the ‘responsive desire’ category, which means she doesn’t really get heated up until the ‘serious’ foreplay starts. Our typical routine starts with us cuddling in bed, with me kissing her and gently caressing her behind and back. Then, she lies on her stomach and grinds herself on a wand style vibrator, with me lying next to her squeezing her behind, playing with her lady parts, etc. We do this until she has her O, at which point we proceed to PIV sex.
We have settled into this pattern of love making because it is the only way my DW can have an orgasm, although we are looking to vary the routine by including other activities. Given that it took well over 20 years of marriage to discover how to give my wife an orgasm, I make sure that we use this kind of foreplay most of the time we engage in sex play in order to make sure my wife is being sexually fulfilled.