Amount of vocalizing during climax
The post about faking O got me thinking.
In your own marriage, do you see a correlation between how verbal you/your spouse are in everyday life and how verbal and vocal you/your spouse are during LM? Has it always been so or has there ever been a change?
How much or how little people vocalize during LM (and I’ve wondered about labor too) has always been a curious topic for me. As a person of few words who would be happy to not speak for days, vocalizing and verbalizing don’t flow naturally, they require lots of thought and effort.
I’ll give my own answer to the question after awhile. This could probably be a poll.
I am quite happy to remain quiet unless I need to speak. During LM, I am the opposite. I think it may have to do with my needing to remain in total control of myself most of the time. But during LM, I feel safe enough to release the control. I also feel pleasure intensely.
During labor both times, I remained fairly quiet. I remember I sang a bit to help me through the tough contractions with my second (no meds on that one). But it goes with my desire to be in control. Labor was work that I needed to focus on.
Reading over this, I realize that LM is a beautiful gift that allows me to be at my purest self, unencumbered by outside influences and my fears about what people think of me. It’s when I can’t release myself from those constraints that I don’t want or even like sex.
No correlation between the amount of verbalizing in every day life and vocalizing during sex for either of us.
The only correlation wife has drawn is that I use some of the same vocalizations of enjoyment during sex that I use while eating good food and desserts. DW finds that amusing and chides me about which do I think is better? 😀 “Babe, I like either. I’ll take both…so don’t make me choose!” 😀
My DH is quiet in life and quiet in LM. I am a little more vocal in life, and maybe a bit more in LM, but not in words. I have tried to put myself out and make a few sounds, so it wasn’t all just silence. We trained ourselves well, from years of babies in a small house.
In labor, I never did understand all the noise that some make. When in pain, I am right quiet. Whether smashing a finger, a hard bump, etc.(I quietly say ‘ouch’ [maybe several times in a row] and only the ‘ch’ part is heard. So the other day, I heard our girls discussing with a friend that I am always trying to say ‘sh*t’ when I get hurt, but never allowing myself to use the word. Lol, I laughed quite hard over that!)
I’m a quiet person generally, so not very vocal in the bedroom, but more so than my DH. He is very quiet. I personally like when he is more vocal with words or sounds. I feel like it adds to the energy of the moment and also lets me know he is enjoying himself.
I had two natural births, both silent. I think more often then not we are not afforded the ability to make a bunch of noise with the children around. Also the DH says if he is more vocal he gets more aroused and is harder to hang in there.
I am generally quieter (at least verbally) during sex than normally; my wife probably talks more than usual. I think it’s because I am super-focused on pleasuring her and enjoying the best feeling in the world. 🙂 We don’t make love that often, so I want to savor every second of it and only talk as necessary. In contrast, I think she talks more to keep her equilibrium and focus, as she struggles with a lot of emotional issues. In other words, we take different approaches to focus on the moment.
Both of us are quieter people in public. However DW is more expressive than I am.
While LMing, I too am quieter than DW. She isn’t super loud. Had we never had to worry about kids hearing our audibles, she might have been even more expressive in bed. Her concern about someone hearing, has likely dampened her vocalization.
I am loud and talkative with my family but was mostly quiet in bed in my first marriage, mostly due to children being nearby and the lack of Os for me. Later on when our MB improved I would be vocal at a hotel or cabin. (And since you mentioned it, I was quiet during labor and delivery because I was relaxing as much as I could.)
In my second marriage I am very loud in bed. 😊
No correlation between everyday verbalizing and verbalizing during love making for either my wife or myself. I can be quiet or loud depending on circumstances. My wife is normally very quiet during love making, but can be very verbally expressive outside the bedroom. With regard to noises during sex, she does not want our kids to hear anything.
I would say yes for me… my personality, including internal processing, transfers into the bedroom… much of everything is kept in my head.
But my husband, he’s actually quieter during sex than he is normally. Not sure why. Maybe he’s been trained that way?