Anyone else have lube discrepancies?
There have been a few occasions on which we did not have sex, because we couldn’t agree on the amount of lube. By the time it’s slippery enough that I don’t have pain, he felt it was too slippery for his pleasure. Anyone else experience this?
It’s not an urgent problem to solve, PIV doesn’t do anything for me, and he doesn’t want it right now for other reasons, but someone else was telling me about lube quantity in their MB and I became curious if we are an anomaly. And it might be an issue again at some point in the future.
On occasion we have. But, it relates more to how much lube is produced naturally – i.e. different times of the month for DW.
Often we don’t need lube because we have become adequately aroused through sufficient foreplay and we have also enjoyed OS. For us, saliva has usually provided the right balance of lubrication and friction.
If we deal with the discrepancy, it’s the other way around. I like more friction, and when I naturally get too lubricated, we have to stop and dry things off. I think there have been times it has caused a slight issue with him, but not enough that it becomes unpleasurable.
Our lube discrepancies tend to be more him not wanting to use any and just jump in, and me being not naturally lubricated enough for it to be comfortable because we haven’t had enough foreplay. In his defense he would love to give me oral first but I’m too sensitive to start that way, I prefer piv before oral so that doesn’t leave many options besides lube.
DW does not like lube these days. If she is not well lubricated, she tells me to play with her. Sometimes just rubbing my penis with her parts makes her ready for PIV. When she is sleeping and I want to do PIV, I just use a little water or saliva and am good to penetrate.
I have always produced more than sufficient lube on my own as long as I am properly aroused with foreplay. Sometimes DH (or circumstances–we both want it, but it’s already 1 in the morning and we both have to get up in the morning) doesn’t allow enough time for that. In those cases, I usually sense that I need some lube, but for some reason, DH always seems reluctant to use it. As if it’s some sort of failure on his part if I don’t have enough of my own. (Well, if he did “fail” to give me enough foreplay, refusing me some artificial lube sure isn’t going to fix the problem! Lol!) Maybe that’s not it; maybe he just doesn’t like messing with the slimy gel to get it in place. Can’t really blame him for that.
We started using coconut oil a few years ago, it dont take much either, it dont get sticky , dry out, or make a mess. Its firm or soft at room temperature, but starts to “melt” or turn to oil within seconds. We put some in a small glass jar with a lid, but l basically only get enough to lightly cover my finger tip. Then l go right to her before it turns to oil. But with that and her natural lube. its perfect. Stays slick but not a mess.