I have remained with him even when I have wanted to leave. I could not leave him with that kind of pain. In return, our marriage has been blessed by becoming stronger. He is my family. Remaining with him is no longer a choice. It is a solid fact of my life.
I have denied the flesh many a time when it comes to leading, encouraging and supporting my DW. I have sought to foster a deep love, a romance, a value of her in our lives when it comes to her goals and her objectives. I have worked hard to demonstrate the love of a man of God for his DW before our children that value her immensely.
My answer was: “Love is thinking so highly of, feeling so warmly about, and being so aware of someone that your desire to be near them is only surpassed by your determination to do well by them.”
I make a practice of meditating on and sharing DH’s good qualities and try to limit how much/often I will “just express my frustration” or “get if off my chest” because the idea of relieving a feeling by saying it is false. Whatever view of him I repeat the most is the view I feel–and act on–the most. I allow myself to dwell on my mushy feelings for him like a love-sick teenage girl and am not ashamed that I would rather be with him than anyone else in the world. From the first moments of my teenage crush on him, I knew where he was in the school by his distinctive gait. I could hear him coming down the hall and watched the doorway for him to pass my class, sometimes waiting a whole class period just for that half second when he would walk by. To this day, if we are in the same place, I am always aware of where he is. He is very busy on Sunday mornings and I often joke that we part at the door and I don’t seem him until we leave, but I am always watching for him and listening for his voice (and footsteps!) and taking any opportunity that presents itself to be closer to him for a few moments. And yet, I know there are times it is better for him to do something with “the guys” or to have a break from me. Or for me to go do something that will make me a better wife for him. I try to ask myself often how I can bless him and how I can meet his needs. I pray for him.
We have to look at God’s actions to know what love is because God is love. Love rescues, love restores, love lifts to a position that is not deserved, love offers grace, love corrects, love is patient, love is often costly of oneself, love is forgiving, love is merciful, love is the strength to do what is right even when one has been hurt.
All of these things apply to relationship of husband to wife, just as Jesus loves the church, so should the husband love his wife. You have to look for the opportunities to exercise it!