Are these types of panties wrong? Thoughts?
I raised in a very Godly Christian home. My parents are the best Christians I’ve ever known. They raised us in a very conservative environment which is a good thing…However there is one belief that they hold that I’m having trouble with understanding, and I hope to get some insight from you guys on whether this belief has any Biblical grounds.
They believe wearing panties other than briefs is immodest and wrong. They are fine with wearing lingerie for the marriage bed in private, but wearing thongs, cheekies, or bikini panties under otherwise modest clothes they deem as sinful and unacceptable.
The thought process seems to be that if a girl (married or single) wears panties other than briefs that she is planning to show them to someone. Another thing that I’ve heard them say is that the key to teaching a young girl to be modest is to start with her to wear “modest” underwear.
Another issue is that my dad’s sister began wearing different panty cuts when she was in her late teens, and she would purposely wear something tight that would show her panty lines.
I also think that they consider the issue a gateway issue, meaning that if you don’t take a hard line on it, and allow your teens to wear them that it will lead to more worldly and immodest attire and an attitude of immodesty because of the “sexy” underwear.
I certainly agree with my parents that it’s wrong to show your panties or lines to any one but your mate, but if you are wearing modest clothes that do not show any person what underwear you’re wearing, I’m having a hard time seeing how that’s wrong. I greatly respect my parents, and I want to do what’s right. Am I missing something?
Your parents have related a personal conviction/boundary, not a biblical standard. This isn’t illegitimate, but one must always make a distinction between the two. Something that is wrong, is something that God forbids. A personal boundary, is something extra we ourselves put in place, in order to better combat our weaknesses.
For instance, there’s nothing wrong with drinking a little wine. But if one had an alcoholic father, or likes alcohol a little too much themselves, then that may lead them to avoid the wine section at the store, and/or bars, entirely. Which is what appears to have happened with your parents.
One, or both of them, had a negative experience with underwear of a non-brief variety, so they create a personal boundary, in an effort to avoid temptation. Or, in an effort to keep their daughter(s) from temptation.
So no, wearing other styles is not wrong. There is no biblical prohibition against such clothing. But, you should consider within yourself, whether you are vulnerable to the temptations they were attempting to curb. If not, great. But if so, then it would be wise to stop and consider where this may lead you.
My first thought is such garments didn’t exist when the Bible was written, so anything other than going commando is questionable!
I certainly understand the issue with children and teens. Pretty yes, sexy no.
And I’m not a fan of lingerie as a fashion statement, something often seen in public.
For a married woman, if no one can tell what she’s wearing, how could it matter?
I’d say it’s a matter of personal conviction.
I think that this is something you should discuss with your husband and parents.
I personally don’t see anything sinful or wrong about wearing any particular type of underwear. What appears to have happened is that when you were growing up, your parents set a boundary for you in this area in order to teach you to dress modestly and to protect you from temptation. Now that you’re an adult you’re old enough and wise enough to use your own judgement in this matter.
Wearing modest clothes over the top and sexy underwear underneath is something that your husband would probably find very alluring. Now that you’re married that’s an appropriate thing to do, whereas it probably wouldn’t be appropriate for a young teenage girl.
My wife was raised as you were. There have been many things we have had to work through similar to what you are doing. I am convinced there is nothing wrong with things like lingerie, little flirty things said and done outside the bedroom, sexting, spicy emails, all that stuff, as long as nobody other than she and I are aware of it. Sex is NOT just confined to the bedroom in our house! It’s a part of our marriage wherever we may be, as long nobody around us is hearing/seeing what is going on.
What about honoring your father and mother? That’s the Bible basis here. If nobody sees them, what difference does it make? Why fight over it?
When you get married you are no longer under your parent’s authority , you and your husband can decide what to wear or not to wear.
Honoring your parents, even over something you consider trivial will add more to your Christian character than fussing over underwear. Plus, it comes with the promise of God’s blessing!
Your statement, below, is a great answer to your question.
“I certainly agree with my parents that it’s wrong to show your panties or lines to any one but your mate, but if you are wearing modest clothes that do not show any person what underwear you’re wearing, I’m having a hard time seeing how that’s wrong.”
Mrs. Youngbear and now Mrs. Oldbear dresses impeccably. She has been and now is extremely fetching. She has always been careful to dress and adorn herself with modesty (and taught our girls to do so as well). Her purpose is to dress comfortably and with a feminine flair. Her lingerie undergarments aren’t worn to attract attention. Does she wear a lacy slip? Yes. Does she wear lacy panties – high cut, French cut. Yes. Does she wear bikini, thong, or g-string panties? No, because they aren’t comfortable or protective for her.
If your heart is right and your appearance tasteful, what you wear underneath your clothes is appropriate.
While it was a boundary for me, that was secondary to their belief that it was wrong in general for every woman. Which I respectfully disagree with. I believe that a woman who dresses modestly as to not show her body or underwear, is proper wearing any panty. So long as her husband is the only other person who sees them, it is fine. I also think that it keeps the romance turned up a notch. By the way, my mom and sister only wear briefs, but the odd thing is they show panty lines fairly often. I don’t think that that is appropriate, but it is almost unavoidable with the material of the dresses/skirts because they don’t wear tight fitting clothes. If they would wear a thong or something else under those outfits they would be completely modest, but since they won’t, they deal with panty lines. That just seems inconsistent to me. My dad also believes that high heels are immodest because he says they cause a woman’s hips to sway as she walks, and they lift her butt. Because of that he doesn’t allow more than a two inch heel to be worn, and because we are all in a ministry together, he has made it company policy and we have to abide by that rule anytime we are out traveling with the ministry, which is almost all the time.