Been lurking, time to join
I’m so grateful for this resource, and the other related websites. I’ve been taking in, reading, watching, appreciating the biblical and positive perspectives.
I’m in my 30s, DH is in his 40s, we’ve been married nearly 16 years and have been believers since our youth. We have five young children and DH’s disabled parents live with us.
What drove me to find resources is hurt over our mismatched drives. I’m young with a nice figure and feel he generally doesn’t see me or desire me, and he says he feels hunted. DH either is LD or has too much anxiety to have HD. I generally am HD though my assertiveness waxes and wanes with my cycle. We’ve had some good conversations in the last years which have helped somewhat though there is still much room to grow. DH has some baggage, and I need to learn tact, among many other things I’m sure. I’ve invited him to be a part of this forum with me but we’ll have to see where that goes.
I don’t have any specific questions right now but I’m sure they will come. Thanks for reading.
Welcome! My question for you is what kind of Nerdiness gives you the name you chose? Are you the nerd and you chose Mrs to let us know you’re a wife or are you indicating you are wife to a nerd or are you both nerds? Are we talking math and science types, science fiction, comic books and superheroes, tv and movie fandoms…?
Do you know what a Browncoat is? Did you cry when the stone table cracked? Do you eat second breakfast? Do you solemnly swear that you are up to no good? Does your DH occasionally say “I know” when you say “I love you”? Do you love pineapple? Will I thank you later? DC or Marvel? Did you take Backup? Have you been to Cabot Cove? (I could keep going, but I’d be here a really long time and if these are not your people, you will just be incredibly bored! If they are, there are a few of us around!)
@Duchess your comment made me smile. He is the nerd, I don’t gravitate toward those things but I do follow along and anything that interests him that he would like me to participate in. I don’t mind, mostly.
When I told him I would call myself MrsNerd he did answer that some people would think I was the nerd. Ah well. 😂
Nearly everything you mentioned is game as far as his nerdy interests. If most of our friends are nerds and most of our activities are nerdy, does it make me a nerd? Ha. I never thought so but I could be wrong…
Thanks. Mainly he has baggage that has contributed to anxiety conditions. He’s not the type to stick with therapy (tried that) but he is a functional human being in spite of it thankfully. Some of the time he is willing to work on issues with me so I’m hopeful.
Thank you all
@Scott+Zelda my higher drive has been developing probably over ten years and in recent years eclipsed his. I was actually able to have a meaningful conversation today with him about it and he was able to identify two main reasons his drive isn’t high. We’re trying to think of solutions and so I’m hopeful. I’m sure I’ll bring them up here when I can formulate a post.
I suppose mentioning my figure was a lament that no amount of wooing, undressing, dressing up, etc piques his interest when he’s not in the mood. Largely that has always been the case.