Book suggestions for engaged couples
What are some suggestions for sex manuals, etc, to give engaged couples? I am thinking of basic how to books, for those that haven’t been taught much. My hubby and I were each given one, with instructions to read it by ourselves. However, the one we were given, seemed to me like it really made sure we knew that the wife should always be there for her husband and it feels like it sort of helped give me wrong attitude about sex. We were completely ignorant, to say the least! I don’t want the same for our children. I know we can teach and talk. Its awkward tho, and I sure liked that the book told us how to have sex! Back than, we didn’t realize all there was to it! I would like to be able to give them an actual book.
We read Intended for Pleasure by Ed Wheat. This was 25 years ago and I think it was an older book even then, so unless it has been updated it might seem a little dated to new couples, but as I recall (and remember it has been a while!) he gave some very practical information, like the fact that some wives are really tight making the first time painful. He advised that either she before the wedding or he after should use gentle, steady pressure with fingers to gradually stretch the opening before attempting PIV. Also I believe I remember him emphasizing the importance of the wife reaching satisfaction as well as the husband, and the fact that it doesn’t always happen through PIV alone, and encouraging the husband to manually ensure her pleasure. I think he might have been fairly conservative in that I don’t remember much mention of toys or positions or anything like that. I think his philosophy was just “do it” a lot, explore together, become experts on yourselves by experience.
I also remember reading Love Life for Every Married Couple, same author so it’s possible I am confusing which book those tips came from, but as I recall from the dusty recesses of my brain, Love Life was directed more to the non-physical aspects of marriage and I think it was that book where he posited that ANY marriage can be saved, as long as one partner is determined to do so. I get what he is saying, and mostly agree, but I have come to have a bit more grace for those who believe there is nothing they can do to save their marriage. Still, I believe Dr. Wheat’s writings helped give us a good practical foundation to our marriage.
It is our 2nd marriage and DW had been in a 15 yr, nearly sexless marriage for her. (Her ex got most of his action from others.)
DW insisted on me getting a book for her/us and that she pick it. It was an older one call ONE FLESH: a practical guide to honeymoon sex and beyond by the Clarkes. With all that said, we made love more times in our first 3 months than her entire previous 15 yr marriage. Yeah me!!! (It was a long 11 yr dry spell after my separation and divorce.)
CELEBRATION OF SEX is good. My wife and I have also read many others including CRAZY GOOD SEX….HOT MAMA…PASSION PURSUIT…and THE LANGUAGE OF SEX.
SHE COMES FIRST is by a secular author solely on cullingus BUT I have not read it in awhile to offer it in this situation without rereading it before handing it to my kids.