I’ve been thinking for a long time that I would like to have some Boudoir Photographs done. I used to think they would be primarily a tool to inflame my DH, however recently I’be been reading about how they can be much more about bringing out the beauty, sensuality, sexuality, and confidence of a woman, independent of her relationship with a man. (Not that DH wouldn’t benefit anyway!) And I can’t deny that sounds like a balm for my soul.
Have you had them done? How was it? Were they expensive? Did you have to do your own makeup and hair? Did you go full nude? With sheet covering or actual parts revealed? Do you display any of them (presumably the more modest ones) in your home? Why did you have them done? How do they make you feel?
If you have not had them done, would you consider it? Would you go full nude? Would you display any in your home?
Do you agree they are much more about the woman than the man who might look at them?
Funny you bring up the topic, I have booked a session for November.
I am very excited and TERRIFIED, lol!
I found a local gal, researched her work and read reviews first. I am satisfied with her, her work is BEAUTIFUL and tasteful.
The fee includes hair and makeup by local professionals and I bring in my own outfits….she has great props and the lighting/her studio looks fantastic. It’s not exactly cheap, I think it’ll be around $300, and I don’t think that actually includes the photos.
My reasons to do this: I’m not getting any younger.
I’m post menopausal at 48 years of age. I started bhrt in June and feeling better, but time is at hand.
My husband is more than a decade older than me, and I am embracing as much as I can NOW.
I am also (and have always been) the HD wife. Seeing myself as sexy and desired has been a difficult road. As much as I would like to feel validated by my DH, it is sometimes a difficult task.
Our marriage bed is better than it has ever been, but I still fight the feeling that I am not good enough or that I will never be cherished for my sexuality, that my HD is a burden.
I am doing this mostly for ME. He is very supportive and is encouraging me to do the photo session, but he is fully aware *I* need to do it for ME. I might have filtered lighting, I might have professionally done makeup and hair, but the photos will be ME, and I am hoping that I can see myself as what I am. Without fear, without apology, unashamed but bold, strong and authentic.
I have no idea if any of that rambling made sense, lol.
I did this years ago and it was wonderful! I ordered a Groupon so it wasn’t too expensive. (They are hoping to make money on you ordering prints afterwards) My husband was SO happy that I did it! I was a size 3X at the time, around 50yo and so the pictures were only something my husband would enjoy! They offered to do my makeup (I didn’t own any makeup so that was cheaper than buying some) The female photographer specialized in empowering women and making them feel sexy and it was a lot easier than I thought it would be. I brought several outfits including super high heels, and we used props (like a football in a strategic location) to create lots of fun shots. Hubby used to go on the photographers password protected page and look at all the pictures but we never ordered any actual pictures to keep. I never wanted to look at them again!
He did take photos and videos of me for his own pleasure as well, which he kept password protected on his computer. After he died all of that was lost because I didn’t know the password but that’s fine. I certainly didn’t ever want to see those pictures of me again!
The professional photographer experience did make me feel sexy and I have already purchased a photo shoot to give to my new husband for a Christmas gift!
@C. Joseph, I disagree with your assertion that there are no rules but your own. Scripture gives two very definite rules that apply in this situation: do not commit adultery and do not cause your brother or sister to stumble.
Scripture also gives clear warnings about uncovering another’s nudity. Put this all together, and I think that inviting somebody other than your spouse to take sexually provocative photographs is unwise at best and sinful at worst.
Don’t let shame hold you back. There’s no shame in your children seeing that mom and dad love each other and have/had a healthy sex life.
Use wisdom in selecting a photographer, but honestly, if we chose not to do anything because it could potentially cause lust in another, we would all be hermits. If we were to go off of that logic, we wouldn’t go to doctors or nurses, no massages, no tailoring of clothes or getting measured for proper fitting bras.
I’m not against them morally, I have even encouraged others in it, but I have no desire to do anything like this. I won’t even go get a professional massage done.
Who it is much more for, is all dependent on the heart and intent of the person.
You could do this…You can have a standing digital camera and you can take the pictures on your own. You can research on the internet about posing provocatively. This way you can also store the pictures in a secure external hard drive and in a secure place like a safe.
I’ve looked into this as well, but I generally take my own. I understand what you are saying about the photos almost being more about your own self confidence rather than something you do for your DH (but of course, it’s a lovely benefit for them as well!). I have not done them, but if I did, I would choose a female who specialized in it and I would research thoroughly. One of the funny/unexpected things about boudoir photos is that you are rarely completely nude, or even half nude, it’s all about the suggestion or possibility of what DH could see.
For me, the appeal of these sort of photos, done in a tasteful way, means my sexual self isn’t dirty. This is opposite of what I was raised to believe (sex is gross, women only have sex to have babies, sex is only for men, etc).
I think that this is something you should discuss with your husband and only do if he’s happy with it. Personally, I think it’s wiser not to involve a third person but to either use a camera with a timer and take them yourself or get our husband to do it. I know he’s not a skilled photographer, but maybe with practise he could be! Rather than something you do purely for yourself, this could be a shared bonding experience.
To update my previous comment. My wife and I have done this a few times now, and whilst my efforts are definitely amateur, I feel like we’re learning. It’s fun to explore our sexuality in this way, but definitely not something I’d be happy for her to do with anyone other than me!
If I was a betting man, my DW would never consider such a thing for two reasons. The first is that she is very modest and the second is that she is very self-conscious about her body image. It would totally surprise me if she ever did that as she doesn’t even want me to take any photos of her. That said, if she ever did tell me she was thinking about it, I would be encouraging and grateful that she thought enough about herself to feel confident to do it and that she would think of it as a gift to me. If she ever did, what has been suggested would be rules of engagement, if you will. No full nudity whatsoever, no male photographers, and a changing room separate from where the photo shoot would take place. From what I have read here, it sounds like it can be done very tastefully and provocatively at the same time. Oh and just a word about kids finding out. When our son was about 11 he was in his mother’s purse looking for something and came across a coupon book for a certain adult store and was quite upset. We had already begun having talks with him and so just calmly helped him see that sex was an important part of marriage and these were aids to that enjoyment. They know. Seems like there was another question about how you handle kids walking in on you while in the act.