Boudoir Photographs

Answered

    I’ve been thinking for a long time that I would like to have some Boudoir Photographs done. I used to think they would be primarily a tool to inflame my DH, however recently I’be been reading about how they can be much more about bringing out the beauty, sensuality, sexuality, and confidence of a woman, independent of her relationship with a man. (Not that DH wouldn’t benefit anyway!) And I can’t deny that sounds like a balm for my soul.

    Have you had them done? How was it? Were they expensive? Did you have to do your own makeup and hair? Did you go full nude? With sheet covering or actual parts revealed? Do you display any of them (presumably the more modest ones) in your home? Why did you have them done? How do they make you feel?

    If you have not had them done, would you consider it? Would you go full nude? Would you display any in your home?

    Do you agree they are much more about the woman than the man who might look at them?

    Go for professional advertisements. Internet has examples. Instagram, tumblr. Valentines day always has advertisements for this stuff on city publication magazines, etc.

    I must warn you; looking for boudoir pics on the net is not for the faint of heart. Be specific in your search. Suggestions from the photographer about place, clothing (if any) are worth listening to. A female photographer is good.

    And…where oh where will you keep this photo? I suggest that if you do this, realize kids may find the photo. Keep this in mind. If you do a side nude shot for instance, any discovery of the photo can be easily explained and no groin or breast revealed.

    on May 10, 2020.
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      Funny you bring up the topic, I have booked a session for November.
      I am very excited and TERRIFIED, lol!
      I found a local gal, researched her work and read reviews first. I am satisfied with her, her work is BEAUTIFUL and tasteful.
      The fee includes hair and makeup by local professionals and I bring in my own outfits….she has great props and the lighting/her studio looks fantastic. It’s not exactly cheap, I think it’ll be around $300, and I don’t think that actually includes the photos.
      My reasons to do this: I’m not getting any younger.
      I’m post menopausal at 48 years of age. I started bhrt in June and feeling better, but time is at hand.
      My husband is more than a decade older than me, and I am embracing as much as I can NOW.
      I am also (and have always been) the HD wife. Seeing myself as sexy and desired has been a difficult road. As much as I would like to feel validated by my DH, it is sometimes a difficult task.
      Our marriage bed is better than it has ever been, but I still fight the feeling that I am not good enough or that I will never be cherished for my sexuality, that my HD is a burden.
      I am doing this mostly for ME. He is very supportive and is encouraging me to do the photo session, but he is fully aware *I* need to do it for ME. I might have filtered lighting, I might have professionally done makeup and hair, but the photos will be ME, and I am hoping that I can see myself as what I am. Without fear, without apology, unashamed but bold, strong and authentic.

      I have no idea if any of that rambling made sense, lol.

      Queen bed Answered on October 18, 2019.

      Good for you!

      on October 18, 2019.

      Oh I’m so glad for you; it sounds like exactly what I’ve been thinking this experience should be! Please report back afterward!!

      Unfortunately the photographer I found (who also has a great reviews and professional hair and makeup) has this statement on the website: “The session cost is $450. Products start at $250, collections start at $1,450.  My average client spends between $2,500-$4,500 on products.” Yikes.

      So for now, it’s still on the wish list. But it’s a high priority one!! Have fun!

      on October 18, 2019.
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        I did this years ago and it was wonderful! I ordered a Groupon so it wasn’t too expensive. (They are hoping to make money on you ordering prints afterwards) My husband was SO happy that I did it! I was a size 3X at the time, around 50yo and so the pictures were only something my husband would enjoy! They offered to do my makeup (I didn’t own any makeup so that was cheaper than buying some) The female photographer specialized in empowering women and making them feel sexy and it was a lot easier than I thought it would be. I brought several outfits including super high heels, and we used props (like a football in a strategic location) to create lots of fun shots. Hubby used to go on the photographers password protected page and look at all the pictures but we never ordered any actual pictures to keep. I never wanted to look at them again!
        He did take photos and videos of me for his own pleasure as well, which he kept password protected on his computer. After he died all of that was lost because I didn’t know the password but that’s fine. I certainly didn’t ever want to see those pictures of me again!
        The professional photographer experience did make me feel sexy and I have already purchased a photo shoot to give to my new husband for a Christmas gift!

        King bed Answered on October 18, 2019.
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          @C. Joseph, I disagree with your assertion that there are no rules but your own. Scripture gives two very definite rules that apply in this situation: do not commit adultery and do not cause your brother or sister to stumble.

          Scripture also gives clear warnings about uncovering another’s nudity. Put this all together, and I think that inviting somebody other than your spouse to take sexually provocative photographs is unwise at best and sinful at worst.

          Fell out of ... Answered on May 11, 2020.

          Actually yeah. I was looking for the right words. I would say that the “faint of heart” are weaker people who cannot handle such temptation.

          And David, Rules are like the ones at church that might require certain clothes or restrictions on clothes(mini dress?). We all make personal rules that keep us in line with Godly principles.

          Ever been to a mall? Yeah, there’s this place called Victoria’s Secret. My Father-in-law was always tempted to go in and he was just being ridiculous. I had been in that store with an expressed goal…getting my wife something sexy. Outside are many pictures of high-class models in various lingerie.  For those men who are very intimidated and tempted by this (I’m not sure what. Temptation…idolatry perhaps?), I would say to look away and get by the place quickly if you really have issues. At the same time, consider; we live in a sexualized society. On one end are many young women who express their femininity by wearing sexy, provocative clothing. At the other end are people/women who would never think of being sexy at all. The gym is no different. I am not suggesting that men who are very weakened by this should go out and be exposed more, no, I’m not saying this. But many people, me included, are not phased by any expression of sexuality wether it be tight pants, small shorts or lingerie. I recognize that its out there and the women who dress accordingly are young and mostly just want to look good and see no reason why any man would want them on account of sexy clothing. The naiveté in this subject is clear and for another subject. If one is tempted and know that they are tempted toward thoughts of another woman, they should avoid this sort of thing. With that said, this is wives who are doing this. (boudoir, or sexy lingerie)  Realize that mostly women are in Victoria’s Secret store as well…buying sexy lingerie, panties and sexy pajamas. The fact that this particular store is still in business AND that they cater to women of ALL sizes is one to be commended.  If you are a man and you are a little intimidated to go into this store, more power to ya if you go in to get her something. Bold and yet a little embarrassed to buy the wife something sexy that YOU want to see her wearing! We amp it up a bit and wife goes to a boudoir photographer WITH the sexy lingerie FOR the husband. I see no reason to shame. If there is temptation somewhere, please reveal it. For so long the church remains silent on sexual issues. WE got this TMB web site and a few others. The rest are secular web sites that include gay stuff. I say bring on some sexiness that keeps the marriage hot. Go with precaution because the enemy is looking for a way to take your heart from your spouse or weaken it with a boring, non sexy marriage. In my own experience, when my wife was not interested in me or sex, I felt very distant from her. Those times were weak and prayer-less.  The church needs a lot more conversation on this instead of shame, do’s and don’ts, and sexual rhetorical “Godly sayings” that are NOT in the Bible. (by the way, I am not naive in the Biblical text. I assume everyone here are Bible scholars)

          on May 12, 2020.

          Your long, rambling reply doesn’t appear to have much to do with my comment.
          Like I say, I think it is unwise for Christians to involve a third person in their marriage by inviting them to take sexually provocative photographs. If, on the other hand, a couple wish to explore their sexuality by taking such photographs within the privacy of their marriage, then I think that’s a matter for them.

          Lingerie shopping and (non-sexual) massage simply aren’t fair comparisons.

          on May 12, 2020.
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            Don’t let shame hold you back. There’s no shame in your children seeing that mom and dad love each other and have/had a healthy sex life.

            Use wisdom in selecting a photographer, but honestly, if we chose not to do anything because it could potentially cause lust in another, we would all be hermits. If we were to go off of that logic, we wouldn’t go to doctors or nurses, no massages, no tailoring of clothes or getting measured for proper fitting bras.

            Under the stars Answered on October 17, 2019.

            Actually it’s much more the price tag than shame holding me back! 😀 I’d really like to have some done and thought it would be a fun topic.

            on October 17, 2019.
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              I’m not against them morally, I have even encouraged others in it, but I have no desire to do anything like this. I won’t even go get a professional massage done.

              Who it is much more for, is all dependent on the heart and intent of the person.

              Under the stars Answered on October 17, 2019.

              I have had professional massages (women only) and unless it is a spirit conviction, I urge you to reconsider. I had various long-term pains cleared up at one time or another–pains that had defied any other remedy I had tried and then vanished after one massage. It has been proven to be healthfully very beneficial and I think the reason it is questioned is often only because it is so pleasurable. Kinda seems like with so many things that are good for us being so much less than pleasant, it’s nice to have something that is good for us and feels good for a change!

              If it’s some other reason, well, give me a chance to change your mind on that. 😉 I really believe massage is one of the biggest under-used health benefits of our time.

              on October 20, 2019.

              My wife and I did it. It can be expensive with tip. I was nude during it and chose a female rather than a male. A sheet covers you the whole time and keeps yer parts covered. Massage mostly for my hamstrings, lower back from running Marathons. I just was not comfortable having a male touch me. And no, I did not get aroused in any way. Really just wanted to get my legs worked on. My wife chose a guy and she kept panties on. Again all discreet, no issues. good smells and low light and music. Great relax area after for us both. I had mens locker room to myself since it was a low-use time. Got into jacuzzi nude since no one was there. Did sauna. It was good. Wife and I had great lunch after. Good times.

              on May 12, 2020.

              Sounds fun!

              on May 22, 2020.
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                You could do this…You can have a standing digital camera and you can take the pictures on your own.  You can research on the internet about posing provocatively.  This way you can also store the pictures in a secure external hard drive and in a secure place like a safe.

                Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on October 17, 2019.

                As I mentioned above, a big part of the point of these photographs is the artistic skill of the photographer; something DH doesn’t have.

                on October 17, 2019.

                It wouldn’t be DH taking the picture.  You would set the timer and let the camea take pictures of you.

                on October 17, 2019.
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                  I’ve looked into this as well, but I generally take my own. I understand what you are saying about the photos almost being more about your own self confidence rather than something you do for your DH (but of course, it’s a lovely benefit for them as well!). I have not done them, but if I did, I would choose a female who specialized in it and I would research thoroughly. One of the funny/unexpected things about boudoir photos is that you are rarely completely nude, or even half nude, it’s all about the suggestion or possibility of what DH could see.

                  For me, the appeal of these sort of photos, done in a tasteful way, means my sexual self isn’t dirty. This is opposite of what I was raised to believe (sex is gross,  women only have sex to have babies, sex is only for men, etc).

                  King bed Answered on October 17, 2019.

                  Yes! Exactly!

                  on October 17, 2019.
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                    I think that this is something you should discuss with your husband and only do if he’s happy with it. Personally, I think it’s wiser not to involve a third person but to either use a camera with a timer and take them yourself or get our husband to do it. I know he’s not a skilled photographer, but maybe with practise he could be! Rather than something you do purely for yourself, this could be a shared bonding experience.

                    Fell out of ... Answered on October 20, 2019.
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                      To update my previous comment. My wife and I have done this a few times now, and whilst my efforts are definitely amateur, I feel like we’re learning. It’s fun to explore our sexuality in this way, but definitely not something I’d be happy for her to do with anyone other than me!

                      Fell out of ... Answered on May 10, 2020.
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                        If I was a betting man, my DW would  never consider such a thing for two reasons.  The first is that she is very modest and the second is that she is very self-conscious about her body image.  It would totally surprise me if she ever did that as she doesn’t even want me to take any photos of her.  That said, if she ever did tell me she was thinking about it, I would be encouraging and grateful that she thought enough about herself to feel confident to do it and that she would think of it as a gift to me. If she ever did, what has been suggested would be rules of engagement, if you will. No full nudity whatsoever, no male photographers, and a changing room separate from where the photo shoot would take place. From what I have read here, it sounds like it can be done very tastefully and provocatively at the same time. Oh and just a word about kids finding out. When our son was about 11 he was in his mother’s purse looking for something and came across a coupon book for a certain adult store and was quite upset. We had already begun having talks with him and so just calmly helped him see that  sex was an important part of marriage and these were aids to that enjoyment. They know. Seems like there was another question about how you handle kids walking in on you while in the act.

                        On the floor Answered on May 11, 2020.
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