Can a husbad ever say it without upseting you?
You dress nicely for a meal out as a couple. You wear something you know he likes, maybe a little more flirty than you normally wear in public. He pays you the usual compliment.
There is a woman at the next table or perhaps the waitress or hostess is very attractive or maybe has on a nice dress or hair style. Is there any way your husband can comment on these women without upsetting you? Or are you so confident of his love that you simply observe the woman and enjoy her beauty or think if her hair style or dress might work for you?
My wife would never appreciate my commenting on another woman’s attractiveness so I honor that. In the context of the question above, however, I can’t imagine any woman not being at least somewhat hurt. A wife dresses nicely for her husband on their date and he comments on another woman’s good looks? What is the purpose or benefit of such a comment? I don’t think that would ever be appropriate.
There are a lot of factors at play. It depends on the couple’s relationship, their level of trust, if the comments are merely editorial not lusting, etc.
On the contrary, if one couldn’t notice or ever comment on another female, it would seem something was amiss.
It seems like there is a lot of comparison there that does not need to exist. But I can understand your point and question sincerely enough. Some people are people watchers some are not. There is nothing wrong with a compliment and yes it can be done, rarely and simply.
Occasionally when I see an attractive lady on the TV and I say something “uh, she’s nice”, DW just laughs it off. So it’s OK. Which is really nice because I feel relaxed about saying it. She realizes it’s just an appreciation of female beauty in general and does not take it personally.
My DH and I are people watchers and have artistic eyes, so he occasionally notices some random trait and will comment, and if it is a trait that borders those that are commonly thought of in a sexual way, he is really cute about stumbling around in his disclaimers before he will say what he has to say, because he does not want to make me feel like he is checking out other women. 🙂 At the same time, I sometimes see a woman that I think is just really beautiful and I will say so, open to his agreement.