Chastity play

    I touched on this topic before in a previous post and wanted to get some open discussion going as I genuinely want to get some opinions and shared experiences on the subject.

    I am rather intrigued by chastity play. As in locking a man’s equipment up in a chastity device (aka-cage). Please note – I am not into degradation, dominatrix or dark stuff (like what you find on a lot of the internet). When I think of chastity play, I am thinking along the lines of locking the guy up as a bit of couple play with teasing and stoking the fires. I have read some good articles here and there and from what I have read, locking the guy up can really build sexual frustration/excitement for him and cause him to ride on a high and when he is unlocked, the sexual experience is stronger than ever. This is along the lines of what I have read…

    Putting this out there for people’s opinions and experiences on this, I would be very interested to get a discussion on the following;

    1. Do any of you married couples play with chastity play?
    2. How did you go about introducing chastity play to your spouse?
    3. What sort of devices have you used or do you use? (Any pros or cons)
    4. How do you create the opportunity to lock your man up?
    5. What do you do in chastity play?

    Again, I can’t emphasize enough that for me, chastity play is not about some weird/dark activity where the woman is some leather clad dominatrix and the man is turned into some sissy or anything like that.

    I look forward to a good healthy discussion on this as i am wanting to learn what this activity looks like in a Christian marriage.

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    9 Answer(s)

      I would say don’t knock it until you try it. If it is done not in a mean or cruel manner, it can be fun. We have tried it and plan to continue in the future.  Since MOST men want sex more often than their wife, it can even the play time, which I would think most women would like.  It also prevents masturbation, what wife wouldn’t want their husband to cut down on that?

      On the floor Answered on February 27, 2020.
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        Never even knew it was a thing until the previous question asked here. Doesn’t sound appealing to me, but to each his/her own.

        Under the stars Answered on February 26, 2020.
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          We haven’t tried it. It hasn’t been on our bucket list either.

          I can understand how it might be exciting for some. Also in your case. Yet, I would suggest caution in how much stock one puts in what is read in articles (and other things) online.

          Under the stars Answered on February 26, 2020.
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            I read a quote today about this topic and it went along the lines of wearing a chastity device is a constant reminder that I am kept for her. I liked that…

            Double bed Answered on March 31, 2020.
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              Nope, no chastity play as you identify it here with my DW and me.  However, we do have a buildup of play that leads to the release of some very strong sexual experiences that can be incredible and often are.  If chastity play were something she liked, it would be ok.  But it’s not the case.


              Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on February 26, 2020.

              Curious as to what are your techniques of build up and release from both her and his views!

              on February 26, 2020.

              We don’t typically use role play, though we are not against others doing that.  Our sexual experiences involve words, language, communication of feeling with expression. and toys as well.  We have worked at learning to please while not believing that we have arrived at being able to please the other.   We value being lost in the feeling of the immense pleasure of the height and depth of the sexual experience and orgasm.  We are overwhelmed, even lost in the orgasmic journey of feeling to the explosive nature of the orgasm.  Ours, one might say, is a longing for the depth and breadth of the experience with one another in giving and taking of pleasure.  In practice, she has worked a long time at stroking me in a way that I desire immensely.  She is able to put me through the roof, so to speak.  On my part, I have worked to learn through the use of my hands and mouth/tongue where her deepest pleasures are.  The sex is exhilarating, breathtaking and prodigiously fun.  Sorry, I don’t want to be graphic here.

              on February 27, 2020.


              I am sorry that I rushed my answer.  I should have added that we do a lot of edging.

              on February 27, 2020.
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                1 – We do not engage in chastity play, so the other questions are N/A.

                Under the stars Answered on February 26, 2020.
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                  This entire idea misunderstands biblical chastity. It misunderstands self-control. It misunderstands staying apart and coming together. It is tied historically to confused ideas about sexual sin and fidelity.

                  Queen bed Answered on February 28, 2020.

                  Thanks for your post, but I think some are missing the point of this conversation (especially this last comment)…
                  Please note that chastity play is not about the man losing authority in the home and it isn’t about being theological.
                  It is just some harmless tease and fun in the bedroom folks…


                  on February 29, 2020.

                  It is obviously your thing Horace. Maybe best left at that? I can’t see us ever doing that. I don’t masturbate on my own except if I want to stir up for DW. Wrong MB is when you are fantasising about third parties. I don’t think there is anything wrong with MB with your DW in mind if she is away or something. It seems to be a specialist thing that is portrayed in BDSM a lot.

                  on September 18, 2020.
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                    1. Do any of you married couples play with chastity play? I have tried to introduce this to our marriage. We have been married nearly 20 years. Our sex life has become somewhat dull for me; my wife is comfortable with the usual routine.
                    2. How did you go about introducing chastity play to your spouse? I have had an interest in chastity play for several years. I researched and discreetly purchased a chastity cage from Amazon. I experimented with it on my own for a week or two before introducing the idea to my wife. The mood was right and I mentioned that I had something exotic to share with her. I explained that, if she didn’t like it, we could just laugh it off and leave it at that. She was ready in bed, the lights were down, and I emerged from our private bathroom in a thong wearing the locked cage underneath. The thong wasn’t new to her; we had discussed and she approved as long as no girly colors/ fabrics were involved. The cage creates an unavoidable bulge which she noticed right away. She removed my thong while I stood at the side of our bed. I think it’s safe to say that she was blown away. I explained what I was and presented her with the key. I told her that she could release me when she felt I had earned it- however she saw fit. She removed the lock pretty quickly- freeing my freshly-waxed privates. Side note: she enjoys the waxed balls and penis. We had a nice time that night, but she never asked about the cage again. 🙁
                    3. What sort of devices have you used or do you use? (Any pros or cons) I order a two-piece stainless steel cage made by Happygo for about $25. I highly recommend it! You can find these on Amazon. It is well-made, fits well, and is very secure. It allows me to urinate while wearing it, but I have to sit. I have to relax while putting it on because it is such a turn-on just to wear it! It is fairly discreet under my business clothes, but it is absolutely thrilling to me to wear it in anticipation.
                    4. How do you create the opportunity to lock your man up? Sadly, my wife has not embraced this or even asked about it after the initial introduction.
                    5. What do you do in chastity play? I would like her to take the initiative 2 or 3 times a year to lock me up in the morning and make me earn her release by doing whatever she wants. It’s tough to imagine the lengths I would go to if she was willing to play along. I have decided not to push it, though. She is a wonderful wife and mother to our kids. I just wish she would be more enthusiastic about my desires.
                    Twin bed Answered on December 7, 2020.

                    From what I have read, this fantasy is extremely common in men. Thank you for opening up and sharing.

                    on December 8, 2020.
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                      We haven’t tried it but it has piqued my interest given my husband’s interest in it.

                      Queen bed Answered on December 2, 2020.
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