Cheating in marraige

    Have you cheated on your spouse before?

    Please what made you to cheat on your spouse?

    Please tell us your gender when answering.

    King bed Asked on June 26, 2019 in Infidelity .
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    9 Answer(s)

      No.   Male. 65 y/o and married almost 45.

      I have certainly been tempted more than once, especially during a period of emotional & physical estrangement from DW 20-25 years ago.  Besides my faith, a strong deterrence was my father’s infidelities which caused much heartbreak for us growing up and eventually destroyed my FOO.   I am very thankful that through the grace of God  I  (and DW) stayed the course and worked our way through it.

      On the floor Answered on June 26, 2019.
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        First, I don’t really like the term “cheated”. I really don’t think it really conveys the heart of the matter.

        With that said, I confess to having been un-faithful, and commited adultry.

        The reason is simple enough on the surface. I was lonely. More accurately, I was alone in my marriage by most meaningful measures.

        It would be easy to say that loneliness was the only reason, but over the years before, and many times since, I have endured the same loneliness and isolation, so that doesnt explain everything. I have never gone looking for an affair. The woman I had an affair with made me feel wanted and desired, so I can not discount that as a significant factor.

        ShadowSpirit did a good job of presenting possible motivations, and I really can’t add anything new to it.

        On the floor Answered on June 26, 2019.
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          I have never cheated but should note that I think you will get more socially desirable responses the way you posed the question. I suggest it as a poll where identity is not an issue.

          Queen bed Answered on June 26, 2019.

          Noted. Thanks

          on June 26, 2019.
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            Male…and yes, I have. And not only was it “cheating”, it was a relationship. Mentally and physically.

            As someone said earlier, nothing “made” me do it, but I see what you mean. The reason it happened was because I was selfish. I was choosing to allow myself to be sucked into the temptations of another woman through the attention she was showing me. She also flattered me (I’m 8 years older). She wanted things sexually she couldn’t get from her husband, and I had never been involved in any of those things. One thing led to another, and we were both committing adultery as often as 3 times a week. We would often call in sick and spend all day somewhere.  The relationship lasted about 2.5 years.

            Here’s the terrible part…how you know when your relationship with God is severed. When you KNOW in your heart what you’re doing is wrong and the consequences are not only horrifying to think about but also costly, yet you STILL continue to lie to your spouse, sneaking around, and having sex with another.

            The truth and consequences were NOT worth what it did to our marriage for about 3 years. There are still comments made (discovery was 2015), the occasional question and trust issues. No matter what anyone says…NO affair is worth it

            On the floor Answered on September 25, 2019.
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              Male.

              I have not physically cheated…I have emotionally cheated to where I became invested in another woman. I am glad that God intervened to show me my sin and that connection was severed.

              I was attracted to her because she was into fitness, she appeared sexy in her pictures, and she flirted with me…all activities that I longed for my wife to do to me or be interested in.

              Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on June 26, 2019.
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                Male.  By God’s grace I have never cheated on my spouse.  This isn’t a temptation for me at all at this point in my  life.  There is only one woman I desire.

                Fell out of ... Answered on June 26, 2019.
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                  Male, Nope. Nothing.

                  Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on June 26, 2019.
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                    I have never cheated on my DW. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t lusted  with my eyes 🙁

                    Under the stars Answered on June 26, 2019.
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                      FWIW, in my view when either spouse has take the role of gatekeeper or willful refuser that is a de facto act of infidelity  just as much as a physical or emotional affair.

                      Twin bed Answered on October 7, 2019.

                      i don’t know about the gatekeeper being defined as an adulterer/ess, in fact i don’t agree with that but a willful refuser is in direct sin with the scriptures and i do wish that was taught in the Church.

                      on October 7, 2019.
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