If there was a category of “all of the above”, this would probably fit there better than “none of the above”. 🙂
I was doing a simple search through the scriptures today, because something is weighing heavily on my heart. I view my marital relationship as … messy, complex, often confusing, but still worthwhile. I wanted to see what I could find about contentment though, because sometimes I wonder if it’s possible to just be content, even in want. I see Paul talking about that, but it seems to be so much more a topic of things and physical needs being met. I’ve never found myself particularly troubled by not having much money, when it’s been sparse. We’ve lived in crude circumstances, and we’ve had times when our cup runs over. In some ways, I think that I even preferred the days when we had less, because our greater joys in life were centered around one another, because we basically had nothing else.
There is so much more to a person’s needs, than monetary things. I think I need some help, maybe some chapter and verse pointers, that might help me figure out how to be content in other areas, like sexually and emotionally. I have so little control over what my husband says and does. I can’t change him. I know that that work is between him and the Creator. When I take an inventory of our life, I can’t justify leaving him, simply because I am discontent with certain aspects of our relationship. While I don’t want to just let him off the hook, and accept whatever garbage behavior that he may be indulging in sometimes, I also can’t stand the thought of being miserable all the time. I’d love to reach a place where I’m just content with what I DO have, so that I can be as happy as I possibly can, regardless of whatever refining that my husband still needs to walk through.
Do you have any gems for me? Any sage advice? Any biblical references that I might look up?
Just wanted to add to the voices saying this is not okay at all. Please seek reliable counseling from a trusted source. It honestly sounds like your husband may have some sort of undiagnosed mental disorder. Also, you mention him being the breadwinner–that is not an uncommon situation here at TMB, and I am confident that all the others here will agree that in no way means that he should have this attitude, as you two are still fully equals.
Also, the degrading thing makes me think–does he have a porn problem? If so, it might be only one of the issues but certainly needs addressed too.
@Wren–I am so sorry; I answered this question then somehow never came back to it to see your answer. Please forgive me for missing the mark so badly! I just didn’t catch, from your question, the full extent of what is going on. I’m going back to your newer question now. (I had clicked on your name to refresh my memory about your situation; that’s how I found this now.)