This is probably a funny question coming from someone who has been married for a couple decades, but I’ll ask anyways. I’m sure ours isn’t the only marriage where one spouse is a lot less verbal than the other.
What do you all talk about, or discuss, when you have an hour, or several, alone with your spouse? We can easily spend 1-2 hours, driving in complete silence. Hey, if I don’t sit there and talk, or ask questions, there is only complete silence.
I am looking for some easy conversation discussions, and ideas on HOW to discuss something, marriage related, or other topics, and how to keep it rolling. It seems I have tried all sorts, without great success!
We live in a rather isolated community, and have to drive a couple hours to get to our local shopping center. I think we could have some nice talking time.
Conversation doesn’t mean much to DH, but he sure likes my company. And he tries to oblige.
We can, and do, discuss anything, so that’s not the problem. But, maybe you all would have some ideas. I know silence is golden, too.
An interesting thought….to the spouses on here, are you the one that is the most talkative in your marriage? Or are you the less verbal spouse?
Mrs. Oldbear is an introvert and she is very content to enjoy her own company. Conversation is not her long suit, not even her short suit. I’m an extrovert and starting and continuing a conversation is easy and comfortable. Because she is naturally quiet, “Tell me stories,” is Mrs. Oldbear’s way of hearing about my day and generating conversation.
Here are three ways we generate conversation.
1. We ask about each other’s day, who we ‘ran into’, etc.
2. On car trips we listen to Kindle books (mysteries and dramas) and the story line often leads to a conversation when we take a break.
3. Of course, calendar plans, near term and long range plans, church, ministry, kids, grandkids, and friends generate topics for conversation.
I forgot I had seen this on Amazon!
Uncommon Questions 200 Fresh Conversations Starters for Couples
I am the less verbal one, by quite a stretch.
The Generous Wife shared some simple “conversation starters” some time ago, I believe it was enough for one a day for a year. I printed them and put them in a container for us to use….. I think we used several questions on one date, and then forgot about them….oops.
We had a friend give us some conversation starters from a ministry…. I think Family Life. If you go to Amazon and search “conversation starters” you get all kinds of boxed options.
Another thing I have noticed, TGH, TGW, and XYCode have been adding “Couple’s Questions” at the end of some posts…. I think that is weekly, but I am not sure.
In our life, we always have enough to keep us talking… we talk about the kids, we talk about ministry issues, we talk about something one or both of us are learning in our individual studies/readings/quiet times. We talk about TMB and things going on here that occupy my mind. We talk about us. Much of the time my husband just talks, silence is hard on him when there is someone else in his vicinity…. I just let him talk, unless I have had enough and I need silence or am trying to think about my own things.
I would say we are equally talkative. If I ask him anything about work, he can go on for hours. If it’s a long trip, we talk about the kids, current events, where we’d like to take our next vacation, future home improvement projects, reminiscing, or about songs on the radio. He grew up in a big family, so he has lots of stories about his siblings. I’ve heard most of them, but they are entertaining no matter how often they are told.
One specific idea would be for you both to try to remember what you did for each anniversary, or take turns remembering dates you went on before marriage. It’s always surprising how two people can remember the same event so differently.
A lot of bloggers do Q & A’s that are really interesting with questions like, ‘What movie/book/TV show did you think you wouldn’t like, but ended up loving?” Or “Who was your favorite president and why?” Maybe you can find questions like that online.
We can be equally verbal, but on different types of conversation. I am always interested in discussing “us”–hopes, dreams, goals, plans, the relationship, philosophies and theories about household management and parenting. He is much more likely to discuss “others”–people we know, something he heard/read/saw somewhere, something that happened at work, old stories about the past, immediate tasks at hand for household management and parenting. We both enjoy chatting about the things we see outside the window as we drive, or people going by if we are sitting still somewhere. We are both creative types and love to discuss books/movies/TV shows–not just what happened, but the process the writers went through, what they might be thinking, what larger thoughts can be born from the stories. We are both working on our own books and like to discuss our stories and often come up with new story ideas and have fun fleshing them out. We also enjoy intellectual discussions about the Bible. Sometimes we can veer into reasonably decent spiritual discussions, but these are harder for DH just by virtue of the introspective nature of the spiritual. He’s just not an introspective guy. (Or is, but has a hard time talking about it.)