I’m talking with a woman whose husband is going overboard with family structure and he’s treating her like one of the kids. He has her & the kids wear a uniform, and he’s talking about domestic discipline. (As a side note, I totally agree with Paul & Lori’s article on that topic)
She believes in submission, as I do, but said this feels yucky–I agree! Anyone else feel that way?
Personally I wouldn’t feel close to my husband, I think it would interfere with us really being a couple. I don’t understand her husband’s reasoning–does he really want a wife who feels like a daughter?
I said to submit to her husband but tell him how she feels. What would you say?
You are right to feel uneasy. I would tell her that submission doesn’t mean being a doormat. Male headship doesn’t mean he is able to give out orders like some petty dictator. She is an equal partner in the marriage relationship.
This situation is ripe with the potential for abuse. Men who think they’re God are dangerous.
This isn’t a marriage issue. it is an emotional abuse issue that is occurring in marriage. If her opinion, thoughts, or concerns are not valued, or dismissed, and he is demanding to be treated with respect in these ways, than he is sinning against his wife, children, and God. If she gives in to such demands, she is enabling his sinful behaviors. It is likely that this will continue or gets worse if she simply looks at the submission verse only. She needs to be empowered to stand up against sin, out of love for her husband and God. At minimum, please go to Leslie vernicks website and read, watch her videos on this. I guarantee this will give greater clarity as to what I am saying.
Wow! 😯😧😲 This is sounding more and more unhealthy and abuse as you describe the situation more. If it were my sister, I’d tell her this is not normal nor do I believe a Biblical example of marriage servanthood or what the latter parts of Eph. 5 describe. It sounds like a parent/child, abusive relationship, not a normal healthy relationship and marriage. I’d tell her to see her pastor or find a new church if he was supporting this. If he is, from my observation & experience, it’s a small, legalistic church. No husband should demand his wife submit like that. Submission is to be mutually and given freely.
The fact that he doesn’t want to talk about it or have her talk to anyone is a BIG RED FLAG. She needs to see a Christian counselor and a separation is in order after going to the church leadership for help.
I read this to my wife and she said that sounds so humiliating and that submission demanded is control. She also said he is an ass 🤣🤣🤣 and he should repent. He probably won’t repent because he thinks he’s right, then she should separate under the direction of a Christian counselor with a plan for restoration when her husband gets his head out of his backside. 🤣🤣 ( I love my wife.)
That’s disturbing. Can she identify how this started? How long has she been married and has he always had this mindset or has this been a recent turn of events? What have been his outside influences? If she feels that he is NOT getting this from the church they attend, then she needs to go talk with their pastor. If this is church related, then I’d be very concerned for your friend.
This is odd and disheartening. I agree with LIL that she needs to go to her Pastor or Pastor’s wife to share with them what is happening if he will not listen or come to reason. Submission is in the Scripture…still, the wife can reason with the husband about how she is thinking and feeling.
The opposite of a family with healthy rules, Authoritative family leadership, is one with excessive dominance called Authoritarian. The rules and the attitude of an Authoritarian leadership likely cannot be changed without dealing with the past hurts and pains, failures and sins. Plan, prepare, seek good godly counsel, re-plan, know the Word on the issues at hand, and never stop praying and moving towards your God given goal of healthy love and leadership for your family. I am praying for your friend.