Couples with kids question

    For couples with kids staying at home, do you wait for kids to go to their rooms to start sexual activity? Do you lock the bed room door?

    Queen bed Asked on February 11, 2020 in Children.
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    18 Answer(s)

      When they were younger, we waited until they were in bed, not necessarily asleep. Now that they are teenagers, there is no waiting….or we would be waiting and waiting and we would seldom have sex. We just lock the door. We get interrupted at times with a knock on the door, but we work around it.

      Part of me regrets informing our kids that our red lamp is for sex, because now it’s like we are announcing what we are doing with the glow around the door at night 😳 …. but I guess the upside, I have noticed we get fewer knocks. 🙄

      Under the stars Answered on February 11, 2020.

      Random offshoot:  since your DH’s every-day-if-not-more drive is not universal, are you concerned your daughters will be disappointed having grown up assuming sex is an every night thing if they find a low drive spouse who can’t maintain that?

      on February 12, 2020.

      No, I am not concerned about it, it actually has never crossed my mind.  I am still not positive how much our kids are fully comprehending it.  I don’t know that any kid wants to really think about their parents’ sex lives.  And since they have had that piece of information (red light), some of the time we have been in that experimentation of “not every night.”  Plus you mix in mornings and other nights he wants a brighter light, so there’s not always that obvious “red light” signal.

      on February 12, 2020.
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        We don’t wait for our kids to go to their rooms.  Sometimes we send them downstairs to watch tv.  We lock the bedroom door.

        On the floor Answered on February 11, 2020.
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          We normally wait until they are in bed and lock the door. There have been a few times recently that the oldest was going to be out later and we let the younger ones watch a movie upstairs so we were able to get it done earlier in the evening. That’s really nice as I seem to lose my drive to initiate when I get sleepy. My wife may not have a drive but she does like for me to be the persuer. 🙂

          Fell out of ... Answered on February 11, 2020.
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            We have a teen and two twenties for kids. I was nervous starting before 10 or 11pm because their study area is right below our bedroom.   Not the best plan.  I do feel we should wait until the house is calmer and quiet.   My husband bought a white noise generator which he uses to see and I use when we have sex so that the noises aren’t as apparent.

            Double bed Answered on February 11, 2020.
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              Well, if we waited until everyone was in bed, we would be waiting for hours.

              As it is, the school children are in bed by 9. One bedroom is just outside our door, but when we built house, we planned the closets between the rooms. Also we insulated our room well. The 2 older teens go to bed when they want. They sleep downstairs, and we have a big house, so it doesn’t stress us. We always lock our door, as well.

              Under the stars Answered on February 11, 2020.

              I don’t know why I always picture you as this very young freshly married girl with elementary aged kids at most. You have often mentioned details that conflict with that mental image, yet it persists. (My weird brain…)

              on February 12, 2020.

              Lol. Nope. Got a handful of children in various stages and ages. Glad I ‘look’ young. I’ve had several tell me that I look younger with each child.

              on February 14, 2020.
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                When they were little, we waited for them to be asleep. They’re both in their teens now, and we just lock our door. Their rooms are on the opposite side of the house, but the game room is down the hall from us. Fortunately, if they’re in there, they typically have headphones on and can’t hear us even talking unless we’re in the room with them. So that works out pretty well.

                Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on February 11, 2020.
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                  Been quite a while ago, but we usually waited for them to go to bed. There were some times we snuck outside in the dark or into the garage for a quicky.

                  Never locked the door. We taught them early on to knock, and ask to come in. Barging right on in was a no-no.

                  California King Answered on February 11, 2020.
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                    First off, always lock the door! Even if they’re well trained to knock, don’t want to risk it. To that end, I started closing our door every evening when we are in our room, even when we’re not getting frisky. That way it’s not a sure sign that we’re up to something.

                    We have a teen and a tween, and their bedroom doors are within 15 feet of ours. We typically wait til the younger one is in bed and the older one is in her room for the night—we have maintained that routine with them even as they’ve aged. I have to be up at 5 am, so we can’t wait super late or it gets too late. However, my wife is more reserved when she thinks the kids are still awake.

                    We have quickies other times, usually after determining both kids are occupied for the moment. We often play music or have the TV on as white noise—partly to cover our sounds, but also to cover the sounds of the kids that might distract DW from the task at hand.

                    We’ve become very good at taking advantage of times when both kids are at activities, and date nights often involve sex at home before picking the kids up from wherever else they are.

                    Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on February 11, 2020.
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                      Yes, we always lock the door. When the kids were very small, no waiting or holding back. When throughout their teenage years, their schedule became a factor. When they got older than that, it was less of a concern. We also used a white noise machine.

                      Under the stars Answered on February 11, 2020.
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                        At night time, yes, we absolutely wait until they’re asleep. In the afternoon, there are times we’ve started a video for them and then go at it. At all times, kids asleep or not, we lock the door.

                        Of note–all of our kids are under the age of 10 and only the oldest has ever had a sex talk.

                        Under the stars Answered on February 11, 2020.
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