Cowgirl is getting better, but…

    DH and I have been having some luck with cowgirl.  Due to my long legs,  we have found that a pillow or 2 under his butt helps me ride him easier.   I have also been concentrating on doing a back and forth grind and not going up and down.   Not only does he stay in better, but my clit gets a lot of rubbing attention 🙂

    Does anyone have any tricks to help him last longer? How long should a guy last normally?   I love the feeling of riding him, but I wonder how it would feel if we could prolong it.

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    11 Answer(s)

      More frequent ejaculations, Kegel exercises, and utilizing start stop techniques can all increase a man’s stamina.

      California King Answered on October 28, 2019.
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        I thought he was able to ejaculate 3 times in each encounter? I would think that is lasting quite awhile.

        From “Refractory Period”: “DH and I make love every day, and each session usually include 3 erections and ejaculations by him.”

        Under the stars Answered on October 28, 2019.
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          The start and stop technique is pretty much what it sounds like. You get as close to orgasm as you dare and then stop for a few seconds so that the arousal level drops, before starting again. It helps a man to last longer and can also give more intense orgasms. In theory you can go as many cycles as you like before he finally ejaculates, although that would likely require training over time.

           

          California King Answered on October 29, 2019.

          Our attempts to use this technique were very, very frustrating as well as pretty pointless. Maybe it was because we decided to make the “training” a time of togetherness whether we aimed to finish with O’s or not; maybe  being playful about it made it harder for him to relax his arousal. He could only manage the relaxing by removing his focus so completely from me that it felt to me like he was no longer mentally/emotionally present at all; no interaction whatsoever and it turned me right off too. Then the very second he turned his attention back to me, he was almost at PONR again. To be fair, he is incredibly easy to arouse.

          on November 2, 2019.
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            I don’t last so much in that position, as I don’t have so much control. better when I am on top. But to make him last longer, buy him one of these:

            https://www.amazon.com/WALLER-PAA-Enhancer-Penis-extender-Penis-extension/dp/B07D7PVWPM

            In that way he will not get to sensitive.

            Queen bed Answered on October 29, 2019.
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              Thanks for the questions. Cowgirl is actually my favorite position for several reasons. In our case, my husband lasts as long as we want because the way we do it involves little thrusting. It’s mostly me rocking and grinding to get deep spot and clitoris stimulation.

              You might try a few spritzes of K-Y Duration about ten minutes before intercourse. Adjust the dosage to fit your needs.

              Hope that helps.

              Fell out of ... Answered on October 30, 2019.

              Does the KY go on him? If so, how does it not cause me to numb as well?

              I am trying different moves when on top, I want to see what it takes to rub my deep spot 🙂

              on October 30, 2019.
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                What SLS says, plus wear a condom, and use a male desensitizing gel.

                Glad you two are making progress :-).

                Queen bed Answered on October 28, 2019.
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                  Thank you for the suggestions 🙂    I’m sure he’d love more frequent ejaculations 😛     Is the start and stop technique just what it sounds like?  or is there more to it?

                  I;ve heard of the condom technique.  We’ve never used any, and hadn’t planned to.    I did kind of look into them though, and I don’t think they will “work” for DH :/

                  Queen bed Answered on October 28, 2019.
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                    No, not 3 times each encounter.  He goes soft between ejaculations.   😛   He can get it up a few times in a row, but there is a resting period in between.

                    Queen bed Answered on October 28, 2019.

                    your definition of “session” must be different than the usual one, then.

                    on October 28, 2019.

                    I always thought a LM session was when you were doing anything that involved sex.  For me and HD, we usually start kissing then touching, then when he has an erection, he puts it in.  When he ejaculates, we keep touching and kissing and other stuff, until he is erect again. Then he puts it back in and when he ejaculates again, then we keep touching and kissing etc.  We usually can get him erect 3 times and we have PIV 3 times.  But we never stop doing other sexy stuff during that session, just because he is not erect.

                    Is this not what others would consider a LM session? 😛

                    on October 29, 2019.

                    usually a man’s refractory period is fairly long (I wouldn’t be surprised if the average was tens of minutes, possibly a couple of hours). Therefore for a lot of couples, once he ejaculates that’s PIV done for the session.

                    It sounds like your husband is unusual in that his refractory period is only a couple of minutes so you can have PIV multiple times in the same session.

                    I think the confusion comes because most people would use the words encounter and session fairly interchangeably.

                    on October 29, 2019.

                    honestly, that’s very impressive and very unusual, Samantha. The vast majority of men have much longer refractory periods, ranging from an hour or less in their twenties, to hours when in their thirties, to 24 or longer in their fifties and beyond. This varies widely, of course, depending on factors such as genetics, general health, etc. But it’s definitely unusual for any man I’ve heard of to have three ejaculations during the same session, even if the session/encounter is hours long. Doesn’t mean it can’t happen, and it is more common to see that in masturbation than in partner sex, but it is pretty unusual.

                    on October 29, 2019.

                    I’m glad to know DH is special in this case 🙂  I should appreciate it I guess 🙂

                    After the first ejaculation, he can usually get hard again in about 10-15 minutes, and after the second ejaculation, it takes him maybe 30 more minutes or so.  Haven’t really watched the clock lol.  I can kind of base it on how many songs play or if a movie is playing in the back ground 😛

                    I suppose his refractory period is pretty quick from what you all said.  What is a normal endurance time?

                    on October 29, 2019.

                    endurance time also varies widely among men. For most, from the beginning of sexual intercourse, it’s about 4-8 minutes. It can be much shorter, of course (less than 1 minute is the supposedly the threshold for PE) or much longer (which if involuntary, gets into the realm of delayed ejaculation (DE)). It can be controlled, though. With lots of kegel work, for example, I have found that I can control ejaculation to pretty much whenever works for my wife, which could be just a few minutes to a quarter of an hour or longer, depending on how long we want intercourse to last without ejaculation. So, endurance varies quite a lot.

                    on October 29, 2019.

                    DH is probably in the 3-5 minute range I’d guess.  YOU can control yours until your wife wants you to finish?  Isn’t that frustrating for you?

                    on October 29, 2019.

                    Nope, it’s not frustrating. It’s just part of the give and take of making love. It’s not always perfect, but if we’re both firing on all cylinders in terms of great foreplay, relaxed enough, in good health and mood and focus, etc. then we both achieve orgasm at the same time or whenever we want. I just control my orgasm until she’s ready. Honestly, a lot of the time she gets there faster than I do, so then I need to “catch up,” but that works just fine. Great communication is part of the key to this, in addition to physical control (kegels).

                    on October 29, 2019.
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                      With respect to lasting longer:

                      • Thinking about sports really does help. For me, it helps the most when engaging the analytical portion of my brain, so thinking about scores, stats, names, etc.
                      • Turning the lights off or closing the eyes is helpful because it removes the visual of you.
                      • Leaving on the lights but looking at and focusing on something else is even better than in the dark. This engages the visual part of the brain, making it harder for him to think about what you look like (which he will be doing with his eyes closed). Also, it might help YOU get more aroused if part of your arousal is visual (since you can still look at him).
                      • Grinding instead of thrusting, though that’s already been recommended. Some men might be able to last nearly indefinitely without the thrusting.
                      • Biting my lower lip (sometimes really hard) can help me last longer.
                      • Lastly, knowing that my wife is enjoying it helps keep my mind on her enjoyment and not my own. This was true even before we added the vibe and got her the O’s. It was even true when I was deep in porn. The more “about her” the session is, the longer I last. So him knowing that you want the climax could help.

                      It really is kind of an art and takes practice. So…practice, practice, practice. 😛 Condoms certainly do help but can be frustrating after he’s ready to orgasm if he’s put it off too long and you’re too wet.

                      I have more to throw in on the positional aspect, but DW is in the shower so I think I’ll pay her a visit and add more later. 😀 But one other question–you mention no condoms. If no condoms, what are you doing for BC? If you’re using hormonal BC (e.g. the pill), that could make it much harder for you to receive pleasure and climax.

                      Fell out of ... Answered on October 28, 2019.
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                        We aren’t using any BC.  If we get pregnant, that would be great 🙂

                        Queen bed Answered on October 28, 2019.

                        Off topic, but if you really are TTC and not just “open to getting pregnant”, you might look at LESS frequent ejaculations for your husband. I have heard every other day is the best for TTC. Maybe for you guys that’d be 3x in one day, a day off, then 3x in a day again?

                        on October 28, 2019.

                        Actually, the recommendation is to wait 24-48 hours between ejaculations if trying to conceive. Basically, it takes several weeks to make sperm, so if you ejaculate more than once every 24-48 hours you reduce your sperm count (the number of sperm per unit volume of ejaculate) because the body can’t keep up. However, the body doesn’t store sperm so there’s no increase after more than about 48 hours, and after 7 days there’s a slight decrease as sperm production starts to tail off.

                        on October 29, 2019.

                        Well, we aren’t trying to conceive, but if it happens, that would be wonderful!

                        on October 29, 2019.
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