Do Christian marriage sexual intimacy websites (our TMB website, et. al) and blogs stimulate your libido – how do you handle it?

    This question has been discussed on the old TMB site. It seems like a good idea to resurrect the question and to hear from TMBers about their experience with Christian marriage sexual intimacy sharing via social media.

    Answering this question requires transparency and honesty.

    For me, reading and learning about other Christian’s views on sexuality and marriage bed experiences can be incredibly helpful. Celebrating sex in the marriage bed is freeing and God honoring.

    OTOH, sometimes my libido rises (yes, makes me horny) as I read about techniques and experiences. When this happens I focus on my relationship and intimacy with Mrs. Oldbear in my thoughts and actions as a result of heightened stimulation.

    What is your experience and how do you handle it?

     

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    16 Answer(s)

      To answer the question, yes, it stimulates my libido, but not in the same way you have described.  Never has reading anything on TMB aroused me (“made me horny”), in any form of an obvious way.  I process it as technical info, much like reading a “how to” manual, or a medical book.

      How it does stimulate my libido is it keeps sex in the forefront of my mind.  It helps me to remember to be intentional about it in my life and marriage.  Otherwise, it would be very easy to get wrapped up in the rest of life, and this less than obvious need (as a responsive desire person) of my sexuality and the sexual relationship, would easily get pushed further back on my list of things to focus on and to be intentional about, and it even could get completely forgotten.

      Under the stars Answered on June 20, 2019.
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        Interesting question. Clearly it will impact people differently depending on their situation, their reason for being here, etc. But I feel that stimulation is part of it – but necessarily in an erotic way. Rather on the lines of what we read in Hebrews 10:24-25

        “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

        I would hope and pray that we are stimulating one another on toward love and good deeds (and toward loving good deeds too!) and not giving up on coming together in our own MB – as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another along the way and especially as we don’t know when the day of opportunity will come to an end. 😉

        Under the stars Answered on June 20, 2019.
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          Honestly – No, but my wife sure does.

           

          SlipTG

          On the floor Answered on June 20, 2019.
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            I really appreciate that the moderators and membership of this board (more than some other “Christian marriage” sites that I have visited in the past) avoids / prohibit “borderline prurient” content that, frankly, allowed me in my weakness to rationalize going where I clearly knew that I shouldn’t. That said, what this board gives me is a healthy perspective of how committed Christians can enjoy a vibrant, monogamous, and varied MB as our Creator intends, free from confusing and contradictory restraints that have been taught by the church, parents, etc. in error, aspects of which I wish for my DW and I to develop for our MB.

            Envisioning and longing to experience some of the practices described here by both sisters and brothers that are not on my DW’s menu at present is healthy as long as my imagining of them is with her. As I “get to know you” better and we develop a deeper rapport, I must guard myself from drifting into imagining my self being involved in some of the experiences posted by my sisters on this board.

            Hammock Answered on June 20, 2019.
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              Yep, my libido is ratcheted up by certain elements that are discussed here. Like @SeekingChange, some info is strictly “how to” in nature. However, there are some things discussed that translate directly into mental images of doing them with my wife that, in turn, stimulates my libido and the horny switch gets flipped to the “on” position. I consider that a wonderful side benefit of participation here.

              Fell out of ... Answered on June 20, 2019.

              I feel the same (depending on my hormones..) i imagine my husband and i doing (whatever is described) and yes it will spark my libido and not in an unhealthy way at all.

              I think it has only enhanced my marriage bed although some of it is kind of depressing only because i cannot do a lot of it (because of SI joint injury and pain and some body imagine issues).  That is the only very hard part, is that i have learned a lot with brothers and sisters here discussing various aspects of LM ing and technique and for the first time in our married life i want to do those things but seriously am unable.

              on June 20, 2019.
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                My husband and I find site like TMB not only helpful because of all the great information, but also inspiring.  We frequent this site along with some others like MarriageHeat.com, https://www.christianfriendlysexpositions.com/and https://sexinfo101.com/ and others for inspiration.  We are both dedicated to keeping our marriage fresh and active.

                Fell out of ... Answered on June 20, 2019.
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                  TMB does nothing to stimulate my libido at all.  I use to be jealous when I read about certain activities other couples were doing comparing to my own marriage.  God had to work with me on that issue.

                  On the floor Answered on June 21, 2019.
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                    I’ve been here for years, sometimes lurking, sometimes under a different name, and in all that time I’ve never found conversations here to be arousing. I also view material here more as reference material, and helps.

                    Queen bed Answered on June 20, 2019.
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                      Yes, it can but not always.  Probably the worst is seeing women express pleasure and enjoyment out of pleasing their husbands sexually and I don’t see any of that in my wife.  It can spur all kinds of feelings and emotions but it can also be somewhat arousing.  Sometimes I feel guilty about it and sometimes I don’t so I’m not sure what to do with it all at this point.

                      Double bed Answered on June 20, 2019.
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                        I like SeekingChange’s phrase “keeps sex in the forefront of my mind”. I think that’s what this site does for me. And I hope it does that for Hubby, since our biggest impediment to our best love life is simply letting the rest of life crowd it out.

                        I don’t recall becoming physiologically aroused by anything I have read, but if I had, it would always be with that overlay of me and Hubby doing whatever activity was described.

                        Under the stars Answered on June 20, 2019.
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