Do you always…

Do you always:

  1. …answer the phone when your spouse is calling? Why?
  2. …keep your phone off when you’re spending time together? Why?

 

If you call and your spouse doesn’t answer the phone:

  1. …do you get frustrated or does it spark other emotions? Why?
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7 Answer(s)

    Q1….

    1.  No, I don’t always answer the phone when he calls. It could be because I am on the phone with another person, I am busy doing something I can’t stop doing at the moment, and I have also had cases where I am mad enough I don’t want to talk to him again (this is usually followed by just talking to him.)
    2. No. He often turns his off or puts it on “do not disturb” because he’s always getting calls and texts, at all hours.  I am rarely bugged on my cell phone. We have kids and they need a way to get a hold of us, if needed. But I will silence my notifications.

    Q2….

    1.  It depends on the situation.  If it’s a call during his day, I just figure he’s busy with another and give it no thought.  If he’s way late or I know he should be available, my mind easily goes to worst case scenarios of death, which my anxiety comes out in anger.   This use to be a huge issue in our marriage, I have had to learn to just let it go, which to me feels like I have to just quit caring.  If he’s dead by accident or attack, I will eventually find out and God will get me through it.
    Under the stars Answered on October 12, 2020.
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      Do you always:

      1. …answer the phone when your spouse is calling? Why? As a general rule I always answer. She is a high priority to me!
      2. …keep your phone off when you’re spending time together? Why? Usually have it off. Most things can wait. On a date, we might both check our phones once or twice to see if someone has been tryin to contact us.

       

      If you call and your spouse doesn’t answer the phone:

      1. …do you get frustrated or does it spark other emotions? Why? No. I understand that she has her reasons for turning it off.
      Under the stars Answered on October 12, 2020.
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        1. Yes, I always answer when he calls. But, he rarely does, so I know it’s important. He does the same for me.

        2. We leave our phones on, since we have children at work and school. Occasionally, a text may be answered, but usually not. I generally never get calls on my phone, so I don’t worry about answering a call. DH will answer if its business related.

        If DH doesn’t answer, its because he didn’t hear or notice it. I don’t call him just to talk, so its important if I actually call him.

        Funny that you asked this question this morn. Last night, I dreamed DH had forgot to pick me up and so I was sitting outside somewhere and waiting. I tried calling him for a whole hour and he didn’t answer. I even told the child with me that something is wrong because dad isn’t answering! But he finally did and he hadn’t noticed we weren’t home and that he had forgotten us! It was highly disturbing, because DH would never do any of the above!

        Under the stars Answered on October 12, 2020.
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          As a general rule of thumb I keep my phone on silent or vibrate unless I am expecting a call that needs a response. I try to keep my phone with me, but that’s not always feasible and sometimes if I am in our basement, I don’t get calls as the reception is very poor. Sometimes that frustrates my wife if she is trying to get hold of me, but I do try to answer my wife’s calls if I have my phone with me and I see it’s her.  Also, especially when I’m studying for or preparing a message I don’t like the interruption of my train of thought, so unless it’s urgent silence is golden.

          I don’t get upset often if my wife doesn’t answer my calls. Often, because of her work she will swipe me and send me to voicemail. She’ll call back when she’s done and apologize for doing. I completely understand. If it’s truly an emergency, she has told me to call the office line as a way of knowing its importance.

          Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on October 12, 2020.
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            Do you always:   ALWAYS is a strong word. About the only thing I always do is keep my options open, if possible

            1. …answer the phone when your spouse is calling? Why?
              • 99% of the time, yes. If not, I’ll text her why I can’t (on the phone, etc) and return the call asap. It is just courtesy and a way of exhibiting her importance to me. She is my top priority behind God, and He hasn’t called my phone as of yet….
            2. …keep your phone off when you’re spending time together? Why?
              • My phone is always on, but on silent. I screen calls accordingly.  I was on call 24/7 for many years (or at least expected to respond quickly) so I got used to it. Now it is a need to be available to our children who are off on their own in college. So when son texts that his shower head broke, dad can quickly advise him.

            If you call and your spouse doesn’t answer the phone:  Which is not an uncommon occurrence. She does not share the same history and HATES talking on the phone, as well as HATES emergency calls. So much so she quit taking emergencies a while back and it has helped her overall demeanor.

            1. …do you get frustrated or does it spark other emotions? Why?
              • I use to get very frustrated with her – so much so as to openly question “WHY THE CRAP DO YOU EVEN HAVE A CELL PHONE?!” But I have calmed over the issue and she has gotten better at responding in timely manner.  I mean, if I didn’t need to talk to her, I would not be calling her. I don’t call just to chat….   🙂  Texting has helped in that if I have a non-urgent need, I can text and she can answer at her convenience.  Technology is not all bad.
            Blanket on a secluded beach! Answered on October 12, 2020.
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                1. Yes, unless I am REALLY tied up and shouldn’t be interrupted (i.e. being examined in my doctor’s office, conducting or participating in a management meeting  or sales presentation before my retirement) but in all fairness, DW would be aware of any those events and would never call me anyway.  In such an event, if she sent me a short text and it was truly important, I would answer it.
                2. Absolutely! Even before retiring,  I never allowed myself to be enslaved to my phone.   It was several years later that DW finally learned that it was OK not to immediately answer every call or text that rolled in…  her doing that was was a BIG problem for me (as  was her fixation with FB during our time together.
                3. Not normally, but before retirement I expected her to take any of my calls that rang in between 5:00 and 7:00… putting any other conversation she was having briefly on hold.   Most days I would leave my office between 6:30 and 7:00 PM and as a courtesy I would call to let her know that I was on my way for my 25 minute drive home.   She appreciated my call to time her plating  of our dinner.  And if for some reason, I was going to be delayed, I would call her as early as I knew it and she knew to put any other caller on hold.   I would be very succinct in my communication, knowing that someone else was on hold.      These days it’s very rarely an issue.
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              On the floor Answered on October 12, 2020.
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                Phone calls are tricky. My full time job usually allows me to take a call… If I’m doing an inspection or loading ordnance…she knows and won’t call. As a Navy reservist in charge of 250 people, I get calls constantly. I will answer them unless we are spending QT together. Otherwise I have an auto-reply set
                If she’s at home on her day off and I call many times or text and get no answer, I do get a little frustrated. She has an apple watch and wears it everywhere… But won’t stop what she’s doing to answer me. But I have to live with that… Some battles aren’t worth fighting.

                On the floor Answered on October 15, 2020.
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