Do you ever get skin hunger?
When I was young, I had this strong drive to have sex when I got horny, centered in the genitals. Sex with my wife was great. But if she wasn’t up for it, she’d give me a hand job. If we werent’ sick or fasting or whatever, I got release just about every night before the kids were born, something I really felt a need for as a young man. We settled into a pattern of my giving her lots of OS followed by intercourse one afternoon, followed by a handjob the following afternoon. She was never that much into OS. Honestly, her mouth is small and kind of toothy and it just wasn’t good for me.
Now that I am older, in my 40’s, after a day or two of no sex , I get hungry to feel my wife’s skin all over my body. It’s more of an intimate craving for her body and feeling her than it is of sexual release down below, though I want that, too. A hand job wouldn’t seem satisfying, though, not emotionally. If I go several days of no sex, then a handjob seems good to me, too. I want physical relase and a hand job is good for that, though intercourse is usually good, too. If i get really horny, occasionally, I would almost choose the handjob. My wife is really good at them, and it is more of a raw sexual release without as much of the touchy feely sexual intimacy.
I’m just kind of wondering if the ‘skin hunger’ desire for sex is a common thing and if it is more of a thing other people crave as they get older?
Physical touch is one of my top love languages. I love being touched by dh, (mindlessly running his hands through my hair, rubbing my feet while we watch a show, snuggling on his lap while he rubs my back etc.) but one of my most favorite things in the whole world is when we snuggle in bed at night. We both sleep naked (we started doing this about 5 years ago at my request) and the the comfort of warm skin on skin cuddled together is something I can’t even put into words. It truly is the best feeling ever.
I think you’re touching on the feeling of intimacy, a deep friend connection, that you get during great sex. Sex is so much more than a physical act.. it’s emotional and spiritual too. (FYI this is a big part of the reason the “hookup” culture leaves people feeling empty).
I get what you’re saying, there’s almost an ache in your body when your spouse doesn’t touch you. My top love languages are physical touch and quality time. If I go too long without either, my body literally aches. What’s interesting is how this plays out in bed. Spooning or cuddling, especially naked, fills both languages quite well. Maybe we’re talking, maybe we’re kissing or fondling, or maybe we’re just holding each other in silence. We’re touching and having quality time, so we fill all three of those experiences.. physical, emotional, spiritual, and we don’t even have to do anything sexual! We’re just laying there, two best friends, enjoying the peace and calm of it all.