Do you feel pressure to make Jan 1 a certain way?
I learned years ago the truth of the adage that the first five minutes a couple spends together after being apart sets the tone for the rest of their time together. I have often feared that we can extrapolate that the first day of a New Year sets the tone for a whole year. Many a year, when Jan 1 just doesn’t go according to plan, I remind myself that it would be superstitious to think so, that God is a God of grace and his mercy is new every morning. Yet I still try to do certain things on Jan 1 as a signal to myself that I am beginning as I mean to go on.
Of the many things I will hope to spend some time doing (at least symbolically) later today after I sleep, the one on my mind at the moment is to have sex when we go to bed, er, even later, tonight. (This after midnight stuff is wreaking havoc with my mind! 😉 ) The theory is–and seems to have unfortunately played out a couple times–that if we have sex Jan 1, we will have a good year for sex, but if we somehow don’t get around to it or something interferes, that will continue to happen all year. It’s silly, I know, but there it is.
So with DH suffering a cold, I’m trying to figure out the best way to liven him up just long enough to do his part so we can “start the new year off right”, otherwise, I will feel glumly convinced that all of 2020 is doomed to be a series of disappointment at missed opportunities for sex because of some interference. It feels a lot like that’s what happened in 2019.
Does anyone else feel this way? About sex or anything else?
The way he is snotting and snorting at the moment, it’s not looking promising, so please, talk me out of this nonsense.
No, I have never felt that way. I have never put much stock in New Years resolutions or anything superstitious. Sorry, I realize I’m not talking you out of it 🙂
Happy New Year! No matter what your January 1 ends up being like, may your 2020 be full of God’s favor on you.
I don’t know but I’m certainly willing to try! =D We ended last night before midnight in bed talking about our highlights and lows from 2019 and prayed together. We’d already snuck away for a nap and made love earlier in the day so a nap cap wasn’t needed or in the cards. Not sure about ringing in the New Year that way since we’ll be driving home all day from the outlaws, uhmmm, I mean in-laws, and we’ve “enjoyed each other’s company” 2x in the last 24 hrs here
PS – on a completely diff note (and in memory of a previous thread), I enjoy having sex in my wife’s old house and bedroom. First, it feels just a little naughty; second, we have to be quiet for many reasons (people, creaky old house, creaky bed, etc) which adds excitement, fun, laughter and when we reach climax and/ OR in the case of yesterday, when we had been on a single bed which after both quietly enjoying O’s, tipped the edge of the bed up while dismounting which then slammed down on the floor, sex is funny. And lastly, my wife NEVER had sex in her room growing up OR with her previous husband of 15 yrs so It’s a pride issue and I just like to “mark my territory” again and again there. =D
Nope, there’s nothing magical about January 1st, though I don’t see anything wrong with seeing it as a fresh start and setting goals for yourself. However, I’ve never understood it when people feel the need to make themselves miserable just to feel like they’ve met a goal. In your example, I wouldn’t force myself to have sex if I was feeling sick, just because I want to have a better sex life in 2020. That seems counterintuitive to me.
As a follow-up, we ended our day with big “bangs”. After traveling 7 hrs, we retired early to the bedroom, talked, cuddled and listened to a podcast about toxic relationships from SEXY MARRIAGE RADIO,, with her hand moving OR resting on my legs and penis, and then discussed things that jumped out at us and a couple different relationships of we have. Then it was clear DW was so turned on, we made love.
I will also add that after last week and some of the stressors of life, parenting and marriage, it seems like some of the most intense/passionate love-making can take place after a rocky day between you, the resolution of conflict and/or being away from each other AND then patiently/slowing reconnecting emotionally (vs me just wanting to go for it physically) Am I right or wrong?
@nwnl—I’m still trying to catch up on all the recent topics, so sorry I didn’t see this earlier. I’m so glad you had that time! That’s a really good idea. My DH isn’t much for reflective type podcasts but he loves old time radio. We could spend time in bed listening to radio shows until we stop paying attention and move on to something more fun!
I agree, sometimes great intensity results from great pressure. We had an extremely intense encounter the night after the worst day of our lives.
Woke up feeling lazy (okay, still tired from staying up late!) and decided that I would spend my Jan 1 as a holiday, and if that meant we have more holidays this year that would be great! There is plenty of time to work on new trends and habits in the next few weeks.
I don’t do resolutions any more, but I do think a lot about what did and didn’t happen in our previous year and what I would like to repeat or not in the new one. It’s just a handy demarcation in time for life examination, a “State of Our Family” evaluation, so to speak. I do have a list I called “My Vision for 2020”, because I couldn’t resist the pun. But it is more an overall vision for the future and is subdivided into goals, plans, tasks, to-do lists, and potential schedules and checklists. I like to get all of that stuff hammered out to the finest detail (color coded!), then wake up feeling rebellious one morning and throw it all out the window and read all day. (I am definitely a contradiction!!)
I stand by the first five minutes rule; it’s not superstition but psychology. But my moment of New Year’s panic has passed. Thank you!!!
And Happy New Year!!