Does a planned date night come with the expectation of sex?

    Is there an expectation or even an outright agreement that a date night leads to or involves sex?

    What percentage of date nights has sex as a component?

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    19 Answer(s)

      Not necessarily.  It maybe happens 25% of the time.

      On the floor Answered on June 29, 2020.
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        Not necessarily. There are times that it might be pretty likely, but unless spoken of beforehand, it should not be assumed.

        -Scott

        Under the stars Answered on June 28, 2020.

        I was scrolling on my iPad and I seem to have downvoted your answer Scott. No idea how to change it but please don’t be offended.

        on June 29, 2020.

        No offense, it happens. Not the first time I’ve been downvoted either!

        on June 29, 2020.
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          This down-vote is interesting.  Wonder how many are done while scrolling.

          Double bed Answered on June 29, 2020.
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            Usually date nights happen when kids are away for sleepover . So pretty much sex happens that night. I try not to eat too much , just to have good sex.

            Queen bed Answered on June 29, 2020.
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              For us it’s about 75% of the time. Since we get to really connect differently and 1:1 it is a nice build to get cleaned up and ready for the night out.

              I think if we both looked at is an expectation of the night, then it may be different, but we both enjoy getting ready for each other and having it be a special treat.

              Double bed Answered on June 29, 2020.
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                What is this date night you speak of?  Sadly, our date nights have been few and far between for a while (surgery and recovery, daughter stuff, busy hubby, etc. And, oh yeah, Covid!) Anyway, when we DID have more frequent date nights, we usually did finish off with sex. Frankly, a lot of the nights we might otherwise go out  we end up having family nights at home. I’m okay with that. Our DD is at an age that if she wants to spend time with us, I’ll take it because that may not last all that much longer.) We’ve been brainstorming lately about ways to incorporate greater romance and intimacy in our everyday, stay-at-home life.

                Under the stars Answered on July 2, 2020.

                Date night for us has been different too. We had just started a bi-weekly babysitter to get two nights out a month when the ‘Rona hit. Wifey typically finds shopping cathartic, but now it just adds to her anxiety. Since I am doing the shopping she just wants time out of the house. Our recent date nights have been driving around town (teleworking is saving on gas!) and getting takeout. Our last date night we got an appetizer and ate it at a park then took dinner home and watched a movie.

                on July 4, 2020.
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                  In my first marriage we didn’t start having date nights until the kids were grown enough to be left alone. That corresponded to the time we started working on our MB. As a result, making special plans to go out to eat and spending time together usually ended up with us ML when we got home. Later on we used to get a hotel room specifically for sex dates, but the whole purpose of those was to ML, so I wasn’t counting those.

                  King bed Answered on July 7, 2020.
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                    Yes, 95% of our date nights end in sex.  I enjoy the connection time the date night gives prior to ML.

                    Cot Answered on July 7, 2020.
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                      Many of our conflicts arise because I always associate “special night” with sex, either then or at least the next day, because it makes me feel so close to my wife and I want to express that in the most intimate way possible. But much of the time my wife does not – it’s just a “nice time” and she doesn’t want to feel pressure for anything else.

                      Even when we communicate our expectations, I will admit I am still always thinking there’s still a possibility. It is frankly hard for me to enjoy a special and meaningful evening with her while simultaneously slamming the door on any chance of physically expressing that intimacy.

                      Double bed Answered on July 11, 2020.

                      Oof, I could have written that myself. It’s hard to get excited for a special night or holiday when you know sex is not only off the table, but that if you bring it up it will “ruin” the time together.

                      on July 12, 2020.
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