Does anyone else have something, other than sex, that seems to be a constant friction in your marriage?
If so, what is it? Have you found ways to deal with it? How?
For us, my husband’s time management seems to be a forever thorn in my flesh. He is consistently late. He often under estimates how long something will take, by hours.
I have done introspection on why it bothers me. I have tried to realize this is who he is, and adjust accordingly. “Adjusting” often means driving separately, doing things without him, not making plans for him to be around, etc. I have removed a lot of my expectations. I actually have come to expect his dependable ways of not being dependable in this area.
But, there are certain times where there’s no way to work around his ways and choices of having a deep impact on me. Which then leaves me with emotional turmoil to work through, and it’s often how many trips/vacations have to start….there’s nothing like having to start what is supposed to be a bonding and good time as a couple, or family, on a sour note.
SC, thanks for sharing that. Sorry that has been such a persistent struggle and source of friction for you two.
I can’t think of anything that causes that much friction. (Nor does sex – except when we don’t use enough lube 😉 )
Like, how we use money is ok. In laws, don’t cause problems. What we do on vacation, is fine. How we raise our kids, is pretty smooth. We are pretty much the same on scheduling and time use too. Our values and beliefs are very similar.
I’m praying for you, as you bringing this up today, probably indicates you are facing it now or soon.
My wife is very cluttered, while I am more of the “a place for everything, and everything in it’s place” sort of person.
It can be very stressful for me if I let it(and I sometimes do).
My travel trailer is pretty small, and it would get overwhelmed with clutter in a day if I let it, but as long as it is tidy, then I am ok with the size.
I actually had a lady tell me today that I was the neatest man she ever met. She was helping me track down an electrical problem so she saw the insides of my trailer.
No, I can’t think of anything major. But we are different in many ways: personality, hobbies, daily routines and ways of doing different tasks … all of those differences can be a minor irritation in our relationship if we let it, but we are getting better at getting along in those areas and respecting each other’s opinions, while acknowledging we don’t agree on everything.
Our major friction points revolve around how we spend our free time and extra money. I would rather spend time and money as a family and with our church family doing fun outings/trips and serving together, he would rather spend time/money on projects/hobbies that he does on his own. Typing that out makes it seem like my preference is the better one which I’ve come to realize isn’t true, I’m an extrovert, he’s an introvert and left to my own devices I’d probably majorly overload our schedule and become stressed where he would probably spend too much time alone and not have fellowship so we balance each other well. However finding that balance is definitely a practice of dying to self and preferring the other over yourself and it often causes friction when we don’t do that well. The degree that it causes friction has lessened dramatically over the years but it still pops up again occasionally.