Does the depth of sexual intimacy equal a more meaningful marriage?

    Do you believe that the depth of sexual intimacy reflects a deeper more meaningful marriage?   Does the journey from PIV sex to greater frequency of sex, the use of sex toys, role play,  to OS to AS to say something like Rimming or even for some say BDSM make you more intimate (satisfied, confident and secure) in marriage with each other?

    Lots of couples likely do a lot more “stuff” sexually than my DW and I do or will do and they get divorced all the same.  (But maybe that is my uncontrolled sampling observation based on wrong assumptions)

    Blanket on a secluded beach! Asked on July 5, 2019 in Other (Other non-sexual marriage issues.).
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      Yes, I do believe the depth of sexual intimacy reflects a deeper, more meaningful marriage. However, I don’t believe the depth of sexual intimacy is measured necessarily in terms of frequency, positions, OS, AS, etc, but rather in the hearts of the husband and wife while doing whatever it Is that they do.

      Fell out of ... Answered on July 5, 2019.
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        I think there are some who are on a search for intimacy and they are trying to find it anyway they can, including trying new and more things in that search.

        There are some where there are wounds and an emptiness in life, and they are trying to run from it and hide, and sexual expression may be a way they choose.

        Then there are others, because they have grown in depth, because they have found true intimacy, because they have formed a place of trust and security, and that gives them the freedom to explore farther, wider, and deeper than ever before. That is what our variety and discovery reflected.

        Under the stars Answered on July 5, 2019.
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          I believe it can be indicative, but it isn’t a good measure by itself. Some are more reserved, while still being totally devoted and intimate in other areas of their marriage.

          Some of my favorite sexual memories took place in a season that our marriage was deeply wounded. Sex was not frequent, but it was seldom restrained when it happened. As our marriage has healed, the intensity of sex probably hasn’t changed, but I have generally experienced a deeper intimacy than I remember during the troubled years.

          Intimacy is a heart thing, and a trust thing. The physical may or may not reflect that well.

          On the floor Answered on July 5, 2019.
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            Does the depth of sexual intimacy equal a more meaningful marriage?

            I think generally it does. It would seem to me that superficial sexual intimacy would not signal a meaningful marriage. Clearly sexual intimacy is not the only thing that yields a meaningful marriage. In fact, people who have physical limitations and cannot have PIV or other acts, for instance, may still have a very meaningful marriage.

            Your second question is more complicated. If it is a healthy and mutually beneficial pursuit of those things, they may be helpful in increasing intimacy. But an unhealthy or selfish pursuit of those things (even one of them!) could easily hurt or even destroy intimacy.

             

            Under the stars Answered on July 5, 2019.
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              That’s a really interesting question.  My DW and I have been married for 38 years.  We were really good friends when we got married.  We have know each other since we were 12 years old.  We were madly in love when we got married and we are madly in. love today.  We were virgins when we got married and for the first dozen years or so we pretty much had “vanilla” sex.  It was awesome! We were both thrilled with our sex life and satisfied.  As we raised our family and aged ourselves we began to explore things such as OS.  I think that added a trust and a pleasure for each of us, but the beauty and thrill of the first years is still a treasure to us.  We both are happy with our broader based sex life now.  But, I think that is more on the physical plane.  We love to pleasure each other physically but, I’m not sure that reflects a deeper more manful marriage.  What has made our marriage deeper and more meaningful is the life experiences of raising 6 Godly children, going through the loss of our son 28 years ago, walking through health issues together, financial issues together, and many other issues and remaining each others very best friends.

              Queen bed Answered on July 6, 2019.
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                I think I agree with Doug. Depth of sexual intimacy probably does reflect a deeper and more meaningful marriage, but intimacy has an emotional and spiritual side so defining it in terms of sexual frequency or variety of sexual activities isn’t necessarily helpful.

                Fell out of ... Answered on July 5, 2019.
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