Effects of COVID fallout on sex life?
My apologies if this has been asked previously, I wasn’t able to locate it. I’m not sure if it’s COVID fallout affecting us, winter blues, age, or just an off season, but we are definitely in a slump in the MB.
I am usually good to go in the morning but for a whole host of reasons (kids, DW’s job, her not being a morning person) morning sex is VERY rare for us. I often think about sex off and on all day and sometimes flirt/sext with her but by the time the kids are in bed inevitably one of us asks “do you want to?” and the other says “I dunno, we can if YOU want to” and then we both say we’re kinda tired and make plans to do it the next night……and it repeats. I’m not really complaining, we probably still average 2x/week but that’s low for us.
DW is way more of a social person than I and all the social distancing/lack of activities has been harder on her than on me, but I admit to feeling a little bit “beat down” over it all. I used to never have a weight issue but after I turned 40 I really have to watch what I eat and be sure to get exercise daily. I think I’m a little down over that change. I seem to have developed a bit of PE as well which has built a bit of performance anxiety I suppose. I keep telling myself that the PE might be from the reduced frequency.
Thanks for letting me unload a bit…..I’m guessing this will pass eventually. Just a little disheartening to experience this when we both know how good things can be. I know I have been blessed in the MB in the past and will be in the future!
I do believe there was a recent discussion / question about this. It seemed to be more about one spouse with Covid (or one with Covid symptoms) quarantining to another room. In other words, sleeping in separate beds and rooms. Our small group Bible Study leader recently got Covid and his wife sent him to the basement for the quarantine period. Reading between the lines, this was her choice, not his. Just last night, I asked my wife again (since I am an essential high school staff member) what we would do if her or I got it. She reiterated to me, again, that we would not separate unless one of us would keep the other from getting a normal night’s sleep due to coughing, etc.
And, there has been no fallout on our sex life as our scheduled sex nights forge onward unimpeded. Can you tell I am a huge proponent of scheduled sex?
Even without a year like 2020, marriages have ebbs and flows. It sounds like you are in an ebb. Have you all talked about how to shake yourself out of it?
Also, my husband felt like he started “falling apart” after he turned 40. It’s been hard on him, and maybe that’s why we see the “mid-life crisis”?
Here’s the challenge (link below) I made to my wife and here on TMB at the beginning of Covid. I’d heard of people have a 30 Day Dhallenge or even a 365 Day Challenge and write a book on it so I thought we’d try it since Covid brings out the weaker areas in a person and relationships.
I feel the Covid slump is probably common. Dh and I both thought we’d have way more desire. This has not proven to be the case. The extreme change to our routines has left us busier than ever. Stress also takes a toll.
Oddly, we’ve become more emotionally close. That’s due in large part to the little time we have together. We’ve had to choose how we spend that time wisely. We’ve become huggers, which was new to both of us. But hugging is sometimes all we have energy for.
You are correct. This, too, shall pass.