Finding sexy time while parenting young kids
How do you or did you find find moments and space for sexy time as a couple?
We are past raising young kids, but am getting some flashbacks with grandkids.
1. Early bedtimes.
2. Use of naptimes….to have your own “naptime”, or if you are at work, this can aid in her having energy come nighttime with dad. Even older kids at home can use a “quiet time” where they read or draw in their beds/rooms, while mom gets a break and some rejuvenation time.
3. If grandparents or family are nearby, use them to babysit, so that you can establish a date night/ alone time.
4. I am anti letting media be a babysitter, but honestly, 30 minutes on occasion doesn’t hurt. Depending on the age, put them where they are safe, sit them in front of a show they enjoy, and go make the best of it in your room (within earshot).
5. Learn to be stealth. Even with sleeping kids in the same room, that doesn’t have to stop you.
It was easier when DD was younger and we enforced the bedtime. She was always a good sleeper and pretty much went to sleep as soon as she went to bed and went to bed when we told her. Now, not so much. She also used to enjoy spending nights with the grandparents, but for some reason no longer wants to spend the night away from home at all. It has been more of a struggle with her as she gets older than when she was little. Everything is a trade-off, I guess. Some couples struggle when the kids are little and it gets easier when they get older. We just keep doing our best. 🙂
It has gotten harder as they have gotten older, they go to bed after us! Our teenagers are supposed to come in and let us know when they get home at night, and that makes it hard at bedtime. We have had to get very creative. There are two slots during the week, where one child is at work, and one has a scheduled activity. That hour is almost always used for sex. On the weekends it is a bit easier. We are probably only having sex 3 times a week right now, but it is what we can work out. Sometimes if they are both home and settled into their own stuff, we say goodnight early and lock the door.
We put a lock on the door. The kids have always been free to knock, and we’ve been interrupted, but creating space has always been our key. We’ve never been shy about daylight rendezvous even. Granted, when they are very young they need to be watched closely. But as they aged and could handle more alone time, that’s what we did.
We’re still struggling with this very thing, our kids are 5 and 6 and are also co-sleepers, still working on solving that. We also have a tiny house that is poorly laid out, so even going to a different room for time away from the kids for this sort of thing doesn’t always work out. Right now we’re just hoping for the kids’ sleeping issues and our housing situation to improve.
@EECOM You have my sympathy. As Christians who are exhorted to learn contentment and to creatively adapt to less than ideal circumstances, it’s hard when the basic problem really is just flat out bad space and there is truly no way to make it any better without actual architectural change! Our kitchen is about the size of a coat closet and I am constantly trying to rearrange, better organize, purge, and just be content, but it will never be the cooking space I need to manage meals for the household without constant frustration. But take heart! Often when I think I just can’t stand a situation for one more minute, God gives me the grace to push through, and then, when I least expect it, the sun bursts through the clouds and suddenly the problem vanishes. Do your best to be content in your tiny, poorly laid out house and believe that God will provide you with something better in his perfect timing. I have just experienced this very thing with a vehicle situation, so I know it is true. I pray that your corner is not too far away and that you will find peace and patience while you wait for God’s blessing.
When the kids were little, it wasn’t a problem, but when they got older it was hard to find time to ourselves. Wife is mostly disinterested in sex anyway, but if the kids were in the house, we sometimes did have sex very quietly, but she never wanted to orgasm because when she does, she gets a little noisy. For sure we had less sex during that time, but after they graduated high school and was in college, it did get better!